#and it felt a bit confusing but it still showcased the routes

[l-0puko]

losing my mind over this compilation 😭😭😭

[animefreak1145]

The Brilliance of Break On Through

Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War Mission Break on Through—An Analysis

I have replayed the campaign of COD:BOCW numerous times—too many times truly. Did a whole playthrough where it was Hardened and soon I’m sure I shall do Veteran(something I have never done for any COD game. Not even Hardened.).

All missions have their own unique qualities—parts where the player gets a little rush of adrenaline depending on the kind of mission and how they choose to play it (Nowhere Left to Run just a plain shooting match while Brick in the Wall you can choose to remain stealthy like the good spy you are or go crazy like an eager homicidal maniac).

Even within the safehouse, there are plenty of little details to discover if you take the time to look around and observe everyone. Or, everything. (The radio if turned to a Russian station/correspondence, Adler changes it back immediately before Da Nang mission. Watching Park’s body language, as you talk to Adler and she periodically looks over to you two. Adler suspicious when you go to the Red Room or the locked room with the arcade. The T.V. being turned on in the Red Room)

But the amount of details, details, in the mission Break on Through is outstanding. I have played this mission more than any other due to me wishing to look at all the details. There’s so many, I think I may miss some. And I can’t show them off all to you cause I suck at creating gifs and don’t know how to transfer that from Xbox to my phone.

To lighten it up a bit, I won’t focus on the four different scenarios you go through—at least not each one. That would take too long and I do not have gifs/pics to show it off since Tumblr limits it to ten anyways.

I will, however, try to guide to what parts of the game you all can explore if you choose to do so. As well just how detailed they did this mission.

I am going to start with the different statements Adler says to you throughout all the Scenarios(17, 6, 11, 1). We only go through four in the actual game—but the fact it goes up to 17 or possibly more shows just how far they went in and messed with Bell’s mind.

Now, Adler seems to be a bit bipolar on how he talks to you whether or not you listen to him and all his directions. Either totally blasé and cold to giving you and pumping you up with more MK or meds, or actually a tad concerned and patient as he guides you through.

If You/Bell Stands Still/Does Nothing:

Example 1

“So you did nothing? What were you, in shock?”

He throws the words callously, mocking. As if Bell isn’t confused and lost at what is going on. He even sounds irritated that you might actually be in shock due to these memories that are just fake—not even real. Not like what he has.

Example 2

“What’s wrong with Bell?” -Adler

“I’m not sure. . .” -Park

“I guess we’ll just wait on you to proceed, Bell.”

The contrast is dizzying. He sounds concerned when he asks Park on what could be wrong with you. If he pushed you too far and now you’re just frozen. And, instead of rushing you due to how the fate of half of Europe is at stake, he decides to give you space. Just wait for you and you’ll come out of it soon enough.

He does these sort of reactions numerous times. Jumping from intimidating to the Adler we knew as the player, as Bell—kind and always in your corner that believes in you. He switches tactics based on what he believes will work really—or he just felt really on edge at times and threw the farce that you two were friends out the window.

Other examples include:

Scenario 11–Napalm Strike-in the lab in the room where you were brainwashed

“Christ, what’s happening with them?”-Adler

“A mild seizure. Sims, past me a benzodiazepine.” -Park

Again, concerned. Worried. Almost…at unease?

In the lab—tripped up on drugs. If you run through the tight shrinking hallway back and forth like so(I suck at making gifs, I’m sorry):

“Why is Bell repeating themselves?”

Or

“Bell, stop speaking in circles.”

Now, as others may have suspected, Bell is talking to everyone as they’re stuck in this horrible loop of mental torture. Most likely muttering, hands clenching and arms pulling against the straps of the gurney, moving their head back and forth depending on what they’re seeing. I always saw Bell as muttering quickly in Russian as they go through all of this—their mother tongue where it may comfort them as they’re panicking and speaking to Adler.

It’s just a nice detail showcasing how exactly Adler knows that Bell is on script—Bell saying what they’re seeing and doing and what’s going on. It shows also just how hard they put Bell through the ringer(badum tss. I’ll leave now).

All the details too when the game shows how the drugs they put in Bell affects you. Like so. The hallways appearing long. The lights looking yellow. You feel so fast—look how quick you can run. Run towards the Red Door that Adler so desperately wants and maybe this can stop. Ah, why is it running away from you? What’s going on?

I don’t know about you, but I was so lost and confused at what was going on my first playthrough. For the majority of this mission, the possibility of me being brainwashed didn’t reach the BACK of my mind till probably I actually saw the flashes of scenes about Vietnam and calling Bell a subject. So like right here.

I personally thought that I had a repressed memory or something due to me going through the Vietnam War. That whatever I saw with Perseus, I—or rather Bell—repressed it from our mind due to how violent or horrible what we saw or experienced was. And that Adler suspected and just really wanted to know about it.

I didn’t expect for the man to actually brainwash my character—us—Bell! The game made Adler your mentor, who always defended you from Hudson and believed in your skills very highly. How he and Bell were basically perfect partners when the two of you were together.

It’s amazing—cause I think that’s what the developers were going for. The absolute trust. The loyalty. The denial that ‘maybe Adler is being a little harsh but hey, this is to help Perseus so it’s okay?’ It’s perfect. Because I’m sure that is what Bell actually felt in real time.

Yet, if you go through the total rebellious choice of not listening to Adler, some thing’s make sense. The Rebellious Side shows you way more than if you just listen to Adler like a Dutiful Soldier.

You go through this room if you choose the rebellious route, the T.V.’s automatically turning on the closer you get. Of Vietnam. And now, all those T.V.‘s that turned on by themselves(the Red Room, Lubyanka, Cuba) make sense. You were actually being brainwashed. Poor Bell probably can’t ever have a turned off/broken T.V. again. The trauma.

Said trauma being shown multiple times too. Not just the T.V.‘s. But the absolute terror that Bell felt, before they became Bell, with Adler.

Like do you see this? This terrified me when I saw it at the end of the hallway. I just saw a red shadow in the distance and I legit thought I was about to be chased. Call of Duty became a horror game(I also went through the door to the ground too my first playthrough, so before this I went through zombies and I think my heart was going to jump out my chest) I thought. I didn’t want to get closer. I had to, with each step I see that it’s not a shadow but a body. And than I see the familiar jacket, the sound of whirring in my ears and see it’s Adler’s head being twisted back and forth, side to side, up and down, in a speed that in inhumanely possible.

Makes one wonder if Bell themselves sees Adler as inhumane. Not human. Adler seeming to just be a god in their head. All the Adler shaped rocks/boulders you go through and see. Even one point the V.C. becoming Adler and you killing him over and over and dead bodies of Adler being everywhere.

The man has entered Bell’s head and won’t leave. Just like Adler won’t leave Bell alone.

Heck, there’s one point in my playthroughs of this mission I was by the bridge yet there were parts of the lab by it. I jumped towards it, noticing down below there were different floors of the lab that eventually reach the ground. I jumped to reach the next floor and missed and I died.

And Adler mocked Bell committing suicide.

That was the kicker really that Adler truly is indifferent towards Bell. Like complete disregard. I know it’s fake. We know it’s fake. Adler knows it’s fake—but to Bell, it felt real. That’s the crazy part. All of this—this whole sequence feels real to Bell so each time they die they actually feel it. It’s insane. It’s cruel.

But we all know that Adler isn’t known for his kindness. Still like his character though, he’s layered.

I don’t have the exact quote he said, didn’t wrote it down like the others. I was shook he said it at all.

Moving on to the final details I’m going to talk about.

When you go through the room, I believe this comes out for both rebellious and dutiful, really depends. You see it filled with post it notes, articles, plans, and newspapers. And you see once more just how Bell has been scarred.

I don’t know Russian or German, but I imagine the notes are similar to what the English one’s say. If I’m wrong, please point it out.

There’s also post it notes which I believe is in code as well due to all the numbers—I’m not sure what those could mean since I am no decoding expert.

Poor poor Bell. And with all these pictures and plans—of Adler included—it begs the question that Bell may have been warned about the famous America’s Monster beforehand. Had to have—since Adler is basically Perseus’s adversary due to how stubborn the American man could be. It just adds more to the story, despite Cold War having quite a short campaign, they made it up somewhat with all these details everywhere.

When you finally and actually reach the room.

As you grow closer to the table, to your chair in the conference room while everyone else seems to have their own spots, there’s something I noticed.

There’s glasses. As well as a hat. And it’s Bell’s. Or at least, it used to be. Why else is it on their side of the table? By their chair? I believe it might be reading glasses due to all the decryptions Bell does, whether on paper or through a computer, it’s hard on the eyes. (I’m sure I’m not the only one who noticed this. For look at @second-vtoroy ‘s Bell)

I believe through the brainwashing, Bell might not need glasses anymore. After all, apparently they were a smoker like Adler before too but they took that out of you. What else they changed of Bell? It makes one wonder how far they truly went into molding a person.

Which just adds onto how mind boggling this mission is—this game is. This is my favorite COD game, despite how short it is. The details and choices and interactions with everyone and able to create your own character(albeit it’s very standard and not specific but it’s good enough for me) is AMAZING. I’ve always been a sucker for RPG’s and able to get that even a little in a COD game? Truly wonderful.

I couldn’t touch on everything because it would’ve gotten long, but the fun of the Break on Through mission never gets old. It’s genius multiple ways you can do it. All the details. The feelings you feel as a player as you go through it.

They truly did a unique job with this and I hope they continue with this type of game storytelling. Hopefully longer as well.

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this rant basically!

Gifs made by me and used the video down below to help.

https://youtu.be/t6QkmkGGHSQ

[arvandus]

Hi☺️ congratulations on the 500 followers! Please could I have number 27 with Shouto Todoroki and Fluffy ending?

Hope you have an amazing day!

Okay, so I SO APOLOGIZE for how late this is. Also, I've never written Shouto before and I was ✨nervous.✨ For some reason he's a hard one for me to pin down, but hopefully I'll get better with practice!

Anyway I hope you like this! It's got a little angst, but nothing heavy and definitely gets that fluffy ending. 🥰

Word Count: 2052

Pairing: Shouto Todoroki x GN!Reader

27. “I can’t think straight when I’m around you.”

You had thought that you’d enjoy working with Shouto Todoroki. Everything you’d ever heard about him was that he was calm, intelligent, and kind. And when you’d first started working at his father’s agency, those things were all true. He was always helpful, giving tips, answering questions, and offering to help with the paperwork that had quickly piled up. In fact, your first couple of months were made significantly easier by Shouto’s constant support and helped offset the sternness of his father who still ran the agency.

Everything had been going fine. More than fine, even. Shouto and you had become increasingly friendly, meeting up for your lunch breaks and pairing up for the patrol routes together. But something started to change. It was like a subtle shift in the air, a stillness between the two of you that wasn’t there before. You weren’t sure what started it.

Was it the time your fingers had brushed his when you’d handed him some paperwork? He’d frozen like a deer in headlights...

Or was it that one time during lunch where you offered part of your food and he’d turned it down with averted eyes and flushed cheeks? Maybe you’d offended him...

Or was it that time you’d just captured a particularly difficult villain and flashed him a glowing, excited smile as the public swarmed you for photos? Perhaps he thought you were gloating...

Whatever it was, you desperately wanted to undo it. Shouto began to pull away from you, a little bit at a time. His eye seemed to avoid yours more and his small, familiar smiles vanished. Gradually, he became less and less available. Wanted to meet up for lunch? Oh, he had a stack of paperwork to take care of. Offer to help him with said paperwork? Can’t do that, it’s “classified.” Meet up for drinks afterward? Couldn’t do that either; he had to get his rest for the next day. His answers and explanations were never mean; his still handled you with kindness. But there was a wall there suddenly that you couldn’t see past. He only let you see as much as he wanted you to see.

But the worst part was when he changed his daily patrol routes. Once again, he was kind about it, flushing slightly and avoiding your eyes as he explained that he had to pair up with a less experienced newbie who needed help in the field. It made sense, of course it did. Still, his response had left you unsatisfied. It felt incomplete, a half-truth meant to divert your attention from the real reason, whatever that was. You wanted to prod for more, to silently showcase the skepticism that you felt with a hard look. But you couldn’t bring yourself to. His reason was sound enough, and to accuse him of otherwise might make things worse. So, you bit your tongue and tried to let it go.

Tried, but failed. You missed him. You missed his smiles, your conversations... your days felt a little bit greyer, and a lot lonelier. You’d chalked it up to missing your friend – after all, you were still friends... right?

But one day you saw him on patrol with another hero, a smile on his face as he talked to them. They stood a little too close to him for your liking, the light in their eyes as they looked at him a little too bright. That part wasn’t surprising. It was pretty unanimous in the popularity polls that Shouto was a beautiful man. What did surprise was the sharp sting of jealousy that shot through you.

That was when you realized. You liked him.

The feelings had crept up on quiet feet, through a forest of gentle of smiles and the low rumble of laughter. Through shared lunches and bad jokes (some of which went over his head). In such a short time, he’d helped you grow as a hero and celebrated in your successes from the sidelines. He’d been there for you so much and so perfectly that no longer having him with you left you feeling empty.

You felt like such a fool.

Was that why he’d started to distance himself? Did he see it before you did and immediately make his decision before you were even aware of it? It was like you’d received the rejection before you’d ever even thought of the question. The entire situation felt backwards and upside down, leaving you feeling confused and embarrassed.

You wanted to run away from the entire situation, to transfer to another agency without a single word shared. But your heart wouldn’t let you. Not without answers. You deserved answers. There were still too many questions.

It was late in the evening, with most of they daytime staff gone and the nightshift heroes out on patrol. Shouto had just finished his shift and changed back into his civilian clothes when he came out into the hall from the locker rooms. You were there, leaning quietly against the wall as if you were waiting for someone, your presence taking him by surprise.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed as his eyes locked with yours. His unruly heart skipped at the sight of you.

Your eyes met his, a silent hurt swimming in their depths. That’s when he realized... the person you were waiting for was him.

“Hi...” you mumbled quietly. You broke eye contact and stared at the floor. “Um... could I talk to you for a minute?”

Shouto stared at you for a moment, taking in your averted eyes and hunched shoulders, and his chest tightened. You looked... sad. Upset, even. Your smile that had given him butterflies before was gone now, and your body language screamed of hurt even as you tried to hide it from him with arms crossed over your chest. There was no doubt that he was the cause of it, that he was seeing this part of you because you were in his presence. He knew he’d grown distant from you, a panicked decision that he’d committed himself to because he didn’t know what else to do.

But looking at you now, he hated it and he hated himself. He did this; he made you feel this way. Shouto inwardly cursed his own cowardice. You had every right to be hurt, and you had every right to be mad at him.

He had to make this right.

“Yeah.” He finally replied with a sigh.

Shouto joined you against the wall with his hands shoved into his pockets, his arm a few inches from yours. He joined you in staring at the floor, his eyes focusing on a piece of dried gum stuck to the tile.

“Did I do something wrong?” you asked finally, your voice tight.

Shouto’s eyes snapped up to look at you in shock. That wasn’t the question he’d thought you were going to ask. Why would you assume that you’re the one who did something wrong??

“What?” he asked, stunned.

“I just... we used to work together a lot, and talk, and go on lunches... and I thought we were becoming really good friends, you know? But then it just... stopped. You got busy, and then you stopped working with me, and... I can’t help but feel like there’s a reason for it all.” Your eyes finally met his just and he could see the tears being held back by the curve of your lashes. “Did I... do something to make you uncomfortable?”

You words were like a punch to the gut. Make him uncomfortable? If anything, he made himself uncomfortable when he began to realize what the pounding in his heart meant every time he was with you. Every time you smiled, or touched him...

“No.” he replied emphatically. The emotion in his tone took you by surprise and he softened his voice as he returned his eyes to the floor. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Your face scrunched up in confusion. “Then why-”

“I can’t think straight when I’m around you.” He blurted out.

The two of you froze, him staring at the floor as his face turned bright red and you staring at him, watching it happen.

“...what?” you finally whispered, your pulse racing.

Shouto averted his face from your wide eyes in shame. “I... I can’t think straight when I’m around you.” He repeated.

Your mind felt numb as the words tried to sink in. But it was a struggle; Shouto’s words didn’t fit at all what you’d concocted in your head. It was like trying to fit a round block into a square hole.

You cleared your throat. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...” Shouto took a shaky breath before returning his gaze to the floor in front of him, still unable to look at you, “something happened, and I just... whenever I was around you, I couldn’t focus. On anything. Not on my job. Not on my paperwork. Not on my food...”

“Wha... why not?” you asked, your mind still reeling as hurt slowly gave way to the weightless sensation of hope.

Shouto finally looked at you through his soft bangs, his bicolored eyes locking with yours for the first time in weeks. “Because...” he replied. “All I could think about was you.”

It was as if someone had pulled you out of freezing, murky water. You gasped for air, the weight of your worries evaporating off of your skin under the sunshine of his confession.

“Me??” you breathed.

Shouto looked back at the floor again, the shame still in his eyes. “Silly, huh? So unprofessional of me. I figured... I didn’t...” he took a breath and tried again. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” A slight grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “And I needed to be able to focus on my job. But...” – he looked back at you – “really... more than anything, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not...”

Shouto’s eyes finally met yours, wide with surprise. “What?”

A small smile blossomed on your lips. “I’m not uncomfortable.” You replied softly.

A warmth spread through his veins. “You’re not?”

You shook your head as you bit your lower lip with barely contained happiness. Shouto’s eyes glanced down at the action as his arm gently found its way around your waist of its own volition. Your body felt warm beneath his touch, and it sent goosebumps across his skin in excitement.

“You sure?” he whispered, as he stared into your eyes. His other hand came up to gently brush the old tears from your lashes with his thumb.

You began to lean into him and nodded. “I’m sure. Really sure.”

“Well, that’s a relief.” He whispered with a small smile. His hold guided you closer, closing the small distance left between you.

Your lips finally met, warm and gentle as Shouto pulled you flush against him. You could feel it – that painful knot that you’d been caring in your chest began to unfurl with the gentleness of rose petals. It softened everything – your mind, your heart, your kiss, your touch. It made a bed of warmth to nestle into, a special, secret place that was only big enough for two. Your arms wound their way around Shouto’s neck as a happy hum found its way to the back of your throat.

Your kiss was cut short by the sound a familiar, angry voice.

“GET A FUCKIN’ ROOM, YOU TWO!! DON’T DO THAT SHIT IN THE HALLWAY!!”

You quickly pulled away from Shouto, your body hot with embarrassment to see Bakugou standing there, his face red with anger. Deku was with him of course, his face red as well, but more for embarrassment.

You self-consciously rubbed your lips together bashfully. “Um... sorry.” You mumbled.

“Y/N! Uhh...” Midoriya scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Congrats?”

You stifled a chuckled. “Thanks, Midoriya.”

Bakugou huffed in disgust and went into the locker rooms, dragging a blushing Midoriya after him. “Don’t stare, ya fuckin’ weirdo...”

After they were gone, you turned and looked back at Shouto with a chuckle. “Well, we’re never gonna hear the end of that, are we?”

He gave a small smile. “Probably not.” His thumb traced along your cheekbone, gentle and cool as he admired you, and you shivered beneath his gaze. “Worth it though...” he smirked.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: WandaVision

I love Wanda Maximoff, AKA Scarlet Witch. I’m not sure how apparent that is, but just in general I love comic book characters who use magic, and Wanda is probably my favorite (or at least tied with DC’s Zatanna). Sadly, I never really felt like the MCU did her any justice. She debuted in the worst Avengers movie, her brother was killed before they could showcase a meaningful relationship, and then her next appearances had her speedrunning a relationship with Vision. She definitely got some great moments in Infinity War and Endgame, but she felt woefully underutilized. The same could be said of her boyfriend Vision, who had it even worse than her, because he gets killed in Infinity War and is basically forgotten about after that, with nary a mention in Endgame. These are two fantastic characters, and the MCU just didn’t handle them well at all, and they felt like a complete waste that it was really hard to care about.

Thank god for WandaVision.

This show really did something incredible. It made me care so much about two characters I wished I could have cared about before, and become incredibly invested in their relationship. Wanda and Vision get much-needed spotlight and character development and end up becoming two of the best and most fleshed-out characters in the whole franchise, and it’s amazing they waited so long to do this. Wouldn’t it have been better if we cared so much about them before?

The show has three core elements that help make it great: its characters, its themes, and its presentation. The characters are the big one; Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany really get their time to shine, and both of them manage to do great things with their characters, characters who until now felt more like background characters than actual Avengers. Their relationship is so cute, so wholesome, but with an undercurrent of something a bit sadder that ties in with the show’s themes, and then when they have children things become even more sweet with that dark undercurrent still running strong. Aside from them, the standout of the cast would have to be nosy neighbor Agnes played by Kathryn Hahn… or I should say, the show’s villain, Agatha Harkness, a magic-siphoning witch who’s exploiting Wanda’s fragile emotional state to gain the ultimate power. She’s an actual well-executed twist villain, which is quite a feat for modern Disney, and she’s just as fun and campy as you’d hope an evil witch would be, complete with her very own ridiculous villain song that has her winking at the camera and proudly gloating about killing puppies. It’s delightfully cartoonish. Other standouts include Evan Peters as ‘Pietro,’ in a hilarious and clever bit of meta casting that leads to a dick joke (which might be one of the funniest twists in the MCU) and the return of the greatest Ant-Man supporting character Jimmy Woo. Even Darcy, the absolute worst part of the first two Thor films, manages to return and be tolerable.

The presentation is a big selling point, and what helps the story feel so fresh and unique. Each episode is an affectionate take on a different decade’s sitcoms, starting really oldschool and eventually working all the way up to more modern fare. Interspersed throughout these episodes are some rather entertaining fake commercials which harken to elements of Wanda’s life, and a couple of later ones even act as some heavy foreshadowing for future revelations. The different camera techniques, colors, and whatnot really help sell this fantastical sitcom world Wanda created, though I have to say it is a bit of a shame they couldn’t integrate this style more into the climax, even if there are story reasons for it. It was just such a cool and fun concept, it’s a shame it had to be resolved before the climactic finale.

The themes, though, are what really make this show shine. This show is essentially about a woman dealing with grief. Wanda has lost the man she loves, she has lost her brother, and she’s struggling to find her way in the world. As a coping mechanism, she creates a fantasy world and refuses to face reality, burying her emotions and refusing to move on, instead clinging to the happy concepts that might have been. It really is fantastic as a character study of Wanda, giving her a remarkable amount of depth. I found myself relating to a lot of the themes on display; as someone with depression who has had my fair share of painful experiences, I could empathize with Wanda to a degree. Sure, the person I loved was never murdered by Thanos, but I’ve experienced with grief before. It’s really great stuff they’re working with here.

Unfortunately, as good as all these things are, the show isn’t 100% perfect. The biggest issue is when the show switches focus from the interesting stuff inside of Wanda’s sitcom world to more standard MCU stuff outside. Sure, it’s fun to hang out with Jimmy Woo, the greatest character ever, but a lot of the stuff out there just isn’t engaging and some things just aren’t really elaborated on too much. It’s certainly not awful, but between some really confusing twists with Monica Rambeau (who is a good character otherwise and one I want to see more of) and the extremely boring, 2/10 on Psycho Analysis villain Hayward, there’s really not much here that can even hope to compare to the events unfolding in Wanda’s life. The best things from the outside are flashbacks, such as when Monica returned from being snapped or when we get to see Wanda visiting Vision’s corpse in government lockup, which is one of the most tearjerking moments in the show.

There’s also how the swerve into the standard “Big Marvel action” isn’t exactly graceful. After a great episode where Agatha goes back through Wanda’s life, giving even more insight to Wanda as a character and showing us a lot of fascinating moments, we get into the grand finale which feels like what you’d see in a movie theater, for better or for worse. Now I’m a real slut for crazy witch duels between hot women, and this certainly delivers on that front, but there’s so much other crap going on and it really is weird to think how this show about a superhero woman learning to handle her grief somehow became a big, epic showdown that wouldn’t look out of place in a Harry Potter film. I don’t hate this finale as much as some people do, but it definitely feels like the weakest episode overall (which isn’t too bad, since it’s still good, just not really what I would have liked to see).

WandaVision is the sort of thing I want to see more from the MCU going forward. It’s fresh, it’s interesting, it doesn’t take a standard route for the most part, and it utilizes characters who never got a fair shake in interesting and creative ways. Most importantly, it’s very weird and very comic booky, which is something the MCU was lacking for much of its first ten years (save for the films Gunn and Waititi made). I’m sure not everyone is going to find this to be their cup of tea, and it’s easy to grow bored of the cuts away from Wanda to the more cliché affairs outside of her sitcom bubble, but this is definitely a rich and rewarding show that engages with some heavier topics in an easy-to-digest and enjoyable way. Hopefully we’ll see more creativity like this going forward.

[nyxravessnow]

Review 2021 Kuromyu – Namashitsuji Secrets of the Public School Arc

Disclaimer: This is not an unbiased review so please proceed knowing that it is heavily opinionated.

2nd Disclaimer: I have never seen the anime or read the manga of Black Butler. All of my thoughts are based on comparisons to previous musicals and comments from fans about how accurate their portrayal is. I understand this may turn some people off my review which is understandable but I think an important thing for shows is how accessible they can be for people who don’t know the source material.

 FREE OF SPOILERS

Overall rating: 8/10

 Acting – 8/10

Music – 8/10 (I took an average of my song scores)

Ease of understanding – 8/10

Direction – 7/10

 Overall Summary:

I think the show was excellent and showed respect to the old shows but also did quite a few new things. All the scenes and songs had clear thought put into them and the acting showcased these things very well. It was not quite like what I expected it was going to be like but now that I’ve seen it, I can’t quite think of what I expected. I think if you like 2.5D or if you like Black Butler or the actors in this show then you will enjoy the show quite a lot. It is not exactly the same as before from every standpoint apart from it being Black Butler so I would say don’t go in expecting it to be just the same.

 I will move to a spoiler review under the cut but plainly, this show is very good and I think all the actors did a great job.

As I normally do I am going to give my thoughts on story, acting, songs and directing, then mention some extra stuff that I might think of at the end. I am sorry if I bring up the fact that I’m British and went to boarding school like my parents too much.

Story: The story was mostly pretty easy for me to follow, especially as a British person who knows about Cricket and boarding schools. I haven’t seen Campania so the dolls confused me a little at first but that is completely on me for not having seen the previous show. When watching I was very confused about what was going on towards the end but looking back on it that was mainly because of my migraine and not because it wasn’t clear. Scenes were set out well and the camera work was done in a way to make it very easy to follow along. But omg the cricket made me a little upset. It was super fun and all. But it was so inaccurate XD. I guess I now know the pain of people who like tennis when they watch the Prince of Tennis.

Acting: I am going to go actor by actor and give a rough overview of what I thought of them

Tateishi Toshiki as Sebastian Michaelis

I felt like we didn’t get a terribly demonic Sebastian in this show but otherwise I loved Toshi as Sebastian. He felt very elegant and reserved most of the time which contrast well with the times in which he was annoyed at Ciel. He wasn’t terribly present in a lot of the show but I did really enjoy him when he was on stage. His singing voice is excellent and I loved hearing him sing, will go into more about it later during the song summaries.

Konishi Eito as Ciel Phantomhive

I thought Eito was amazing as Ciel and he is my favourite Ciel so far. He showed Ciel’s switch between cute and normal so well and it really made me think about how good of an actor Ciel is. I don’t know how he did what he did to his voice but he makes himself sound like a young child with a slightly higher and scrapey voice than normal and it really makes you think that he is very young. I know many people were worried that they were casting an adult as Ciel because they wanted to sexualise him and this was not the case at all. He only showed any skin in the very first scene when in the cage and he had the sheet/robe-thing showing his shoulder. His singing voice is quite a lot mature than the previous two Ciels, for obvious reasons, and I think it really helped me enjoy his songs.

Okayama Ryousuke as Soma Asman Kadar

While I would still say I prefer Sho’s Soma, mainly bc Sho is one of my fav actors and I am biased, I really liked Ryousuke’s Soma. He was super energetic and friendly and really gave off this air of innocence as he believes Ciel’s reasoning for him to join Weston. His cricket was also very fun. His singing was pretty okay. I think this was as his singing suffered when he was trying to sing in Soma’s voice.

Ueda Kandai as Undertaker

I was honestly quite surprised how good Kandai was as Undertaker. I think his Undertaker voice got better as the show went on so I assume the reason it was less good at first was nerves. He wasn’t in it too much but I thoroughly enjoyed him in every scene he was in. I think I would love it if he learnt to sing in his Undertaker voice more but I also understand that is quite difficult so understand why he’s not doing that.

Sana Hiroki as Edgar Redmond

I thought he was very good as Edgar and carried the emotion needed for the more serious scenes, like the flashback about Derek, very well. He definitely emphasised the queerness of Edgar and had some rather flirtatious moments with Maurice and Joanne. However, despite being flirty and not seeming to be very serious, I completely bought it when he became serious and he played the shift very well (such as in the Maurice reveal scene). His singing voice is good.

Tazuru Shogo as Herman Greenhill

I thought Shogo was really good as Herman, even if it did feel like him playing a slightly nicer version of Sanada – his character from Prince of tennis. He was my 2nd fav of the four and I always enjoyed watching him in his scenes. He played the emotion in the Derek flashback amazingly and you could really see the pain in his eyes when he realised what he had done. His voice was really perfect for Herman.

Satonaka Masamichi as Lawrence Bluewer

I really loved Masa as Lawrence. I don’t know how accurate it is as he didn’t seem very sweet from what I read on his wiki page, but his Lawrence seemed quite tsundere. I loved his bit in the Cricket match when he was talking about wanting to win in his very last year. He also just seemed quite cute. I really enjoyed his singing.

Goto Dai as Gregory Violet

I LOVED Dai as Gregory. He definitely gave off the aura of being weird but he also seemed very sweet to Cheslock and the two actors had really good chemistry. He was really cute in his Cricket gear. He was by far my favourite of the prefects. Despite seeming cute and sweet to Cheslock he definitely retained the aura of mystery and you could never tell what he was thinking. His singing voice is pretty good but he didn’t have many solo bits.

Furuya Yamato as Clayton

While at the beginning I did get an intelligent stuck up vibe from Yamato as Clayton that kinda died away as the show went on and he became much more of a dork. I dunno how much of this is in character but to me it felt slightly like Yamato playing himself. As I think Yamato is an excellent actor, I was a little bit disappointed to see his character change quite a bit but I don’t know how much was him and how much was the direction. Since Yamato is known for comedy and his adlibbing I wouldn���t be surprised if this was actually just direction and the route they decided to go down for this character, hence why they scouted Yamato. I know his singing voice may not appeal to everyone, but I really like it.

Nakajima Takuto as Edward Midford

Takuto was very good as Edward and I think he played his straightforwardness quite well. I love Takuto but I don’t think Edward had much to do apart from the cricket which Takuto did very well. His singing voice is excellent.

Warning: Tsukasa is my favourite actor, and I am very biased

Taguchi Tsukasa as Maurice Cole

Tsukasa was AMAZING as Maurice. He played the changes in his character so well and even though he’s not a very nice person I felt really bad for him during his breakdown as Tsukasa’s scream was heart wrenching. When he was pretending, he felt so light and sweet and then when he was being his normal self he dropped down his voice and even changed his accent slightly as well as changing the way he would stand and walk. Ngl I was not paying too much attention to other people when he was in the scene and I don’t know if it’s just because I’m biased or because his command of the stage is that good but I really felt his stage presence. I loved the way he repeated 2 O’clock to Edgar and the others and how he mirrored the way he did it with Ciel and all the subtleties to his acting were great. He didn’t get to sing very much but he sounded really good.

Fukuzawa Yu as Cheslock

Apart from Tsukasa I think Yu was my favourite in this show. He brought so much energy to Cheslock and I don’t mean making the character energetic, just that he always has so much power and feeling behind his lines and he was so good and cool! He had good command of the stage and worked so well with Dai to be the one the stands out and the one that fades into the shadows. He mostly rapped so I don’t remember his singing voice very much.

Uchino Fuuto as Joanne Harcourt

Fuuto didn’t really stand out to me very much and I don’t think he had very much to do. His singing voice was pretty good.

Hayakawa Iori as Macmillan

He served his part in the story well and was very cute and energetic which I liked. He kinda reminded me of doll a little. His singing voice was pretty good.

Yamaguchi Kooki as Derek Arden

He wasn’t in very much of the show but he played his part very well and even though we got so little of him being unpleasant the way he played it made me hate Derek immediately. I don’t think he got any solo singing bits?

Takahashi Shunichi as Johann Agares

He filled his role very well. The most impressive thing was his falling from the stairs, I was very worried he was going to hurt himself, so I was really glad he was okay as he went from pretty high considering there were lower stairs. His singing voice was good.

Songs: I really love Yu(vague) the composer of the show and he is my favourite music composer. I think he did a really good job with the songs on the whole. I think he did well making them seem different and new yet familiar.

Opening song – 7/10

I think this song was a good opener. I wasn’t too sure about it at first, but it got better as the song went on. Toshi’s voice didn’t sound to be working with the song at first but since he sounded fine later, I think it was just his voice wavering at first from nerves so I’m excited to see what he’s like in the last show. I like how they did short recaps of the previous shows from Lycoris to Campania so the fans are caught up on what has happened, especially since it becomes important when Undertaker comes back with the dolls at the end.

2nd song, I think it’s called ‘It’s perfect black’ – 8/10

I really like this song. I think it is a nice scene setter and is very well sung by everyone. The dance works well and kinda brings Druitt’s dancing to mind with some of it. The song features the full cast and is effectively the Pawn and Sword song of this show.

Welcome to Weston song – 10/10

My first 10/10 song. I really love this song and I already can sing along to it. I love the prefects singing and that the others sing the chorus for them. (Also partly love it for its reprise but I’ll get to that later) I love how rigid and together it sounds. By that I mean that everyone is singing their lines as quite cutting and the harmonies are very crisp. Everyone is perfectly in time and there is no deviation. The rigidness shows the formality and tradition of the school which is reinforced by the students marching around the stage to get to the places. This is the case for everyone except the prefects who have more flowy lines and they walk a lot more freely showing the school’s hierarchy. I also love the prefects pushing Ciel around and surrounding him which foreshadows how he his treated.

Only Prefect Four – 9/10

I might be slightly biased as a Mankai stage fan as this song sounds so like a Mankai stage song but I love it so much. It would be 10/10 but I think their harmonies at the end could be a bit tighter. I think the soft and flowery and upbeat music works really well after the last song. Kinda indicating that the prefects live in a different world to the rest of the school which kinda serves as storytelling so that later when they’re so surprised by Derek’s actions it makes sense as they feel kinda separate from everyone else and it makes sense that they wouldn’t know what was going on in the rest of the school. I also love how they each get their solo bits which tell you stuff about the characters. Edgar’s dance is really reminiscent of Druitt which I really love. Herman’s music is a lot less flowy with a base note and the dance, using cricket bats, really gives off an image of strength. Lawrence’s mixes classical music into the instrumental and it has a more traditional feel. The dance involves a lot of stepping and stopping showing a formulaic approach rather than being flowy or strong. Gregory’s music has a grand feeling to it and it goes lower. Gregory doesn’t move much while Cheslock is doing some hip-hop dancing next to him. And instead of singing a solo section he talks about how he wants to go to bed.

Yes, my lord – 10/10

My favourite song in this show. It shows Ciel being told to do things and him passing his chores to Sebastian and Sebastian getting more and more annoyed with him, even breaking and calling him a brat at one point. The upbeat tone is quite fun and it works really well as a montage song. I like how it goes from Ciel saying ‘Yes, Clayton-senpai’ (senpai is a polite suffix for names of people who are higher up than you) to dropping senpai to just saying yes then turning to Sebastian. It really showcases brat Ciel.

Soma’s song – 10/10

His song is all about being Ciel’s friend and it’s really cute and energetic. The outfits from Soma’s song in Circus and brought back and it has a similar instrumental to his song there. He messes around a lot more in this song, though. Even though he is now much older than Sho was when he played Soma through this song he feels far more youthful through the more relaxed choreography and the energetic music.

Ominous prefect song – 9/10

This song is so cool. I really like the sharp shapes being projected onto the back with lilac light and the softly ominous instrumentals. (it comes right after Edgar mentions ‘the secret of what happened that day’). The vice-principal walking around at the back is really interesting as it looks like he is monitoring them. And the other students walking around with lanterns gives the song an almost supernatural feel. And then Undertaker peeking out from the back at the end gives a more direct hint of what is going on.

Nightmare, opening reprise – 8/10

This is just a reprise of the 1st song but I like it a bit better because it is shorter and the choreography of the cultists surrounding Ciel’s bed is really nice.

The Headmaster’s decision – 10/10

I like the fast pace of this song as Ciel runs around to ask about Derek and keeps just being told it was the headmaster’s decision. The students moving and singing together, then encircling him reinforces Ciel’s feeling like there’s a secret that everyone knows but isn’t telling him. I also like the use of Derek’s actor walking around the stage, always just beyond their sight from where they are.

Cricket song, last song of Act 1 – 6/10

This song is good it’s just not super enthralling. I think it’s probably the weakest pre-interval song out of the Kuromyus. At the beginning Sebastian and Ciel’s mics got really quiet for some reason and the instrumental was a bit louder than them. It’s a nice gentle and weirdly happy and hopeful instrumental which is a bit at odds with the past two ominous songs and I can’t decide if I like that or not. Also, I think the harmonies are a bit off so hopefully that will be better by the final performance. A lot of the singers sound like they have tension in their voices so I think they were all pretty anxious for this song. I do like the song and it might go up a bit if they can get the harmonies in the final show because they got almost none of them in this show. (The one that they did get sounded really good though)

INTERVAL

Cricket tournament – 9/10

While the previous song was also more upbeat than the ominous songs I don’t think it worked due to being directly afterwards, as the first song of Act 2 I quite like that’s it’s more energetic as it gets you hyped for the 2nd Act. This is the song that some Tenimyu, Prince of tennis musical, fans are saying was inspired by Tenimyu. And I will say, it was 100% inspired by Tenimyu XD. Yana-sensei is a fan of Prince of tennis and Shogo, Herman’s actor, was cast in a role very similar to his Prince of tennis role then the Green Lion section literally has lines that are exactly the same as lines from the team Shogo was in. Also, the music during their bit is actually somewhat reminiscent of the music that team normally has.

[Yu(vague) is so good at changing types of music during songs ahh, the Green Lion to Scarlett Fox transition is just so good.]

Honestly, this song would be a 7 or 8 out of 10 without the Violet Wolf part bc omg that part slaps so hard. Gregory and Cheslock high-five and the music just switches to electronic disco music and they rap most of their bit. I love it so much.

Sapphire Owl’s bit is cool too.

Scarlett vs Sapphire Cricket match – 6/10

It’s pretty good. Solid song but isn’t too exciting. Soma’s solo bit is really cute. Main thing letting it down is the ‘It’s cricket’ refrain that is in all three match songs. I was already done with it after like 30 seconds in this song and this song doesn’t have anything else lifting it above like the others do.

Violet vs Green Cricket match – 8/10

Cricket match as a rap battle. I dunno why Violet House became a rap house but I love it and I love Cheslock rapping about his awesome pitch. Then he and Herman having a rap battle is just so fun. I don’t know if this is as fun to Black Butler fans who know the characters a lot better or whether it would be uncomfortable but I had a blast in this song.

Sapphire vs Green Cricket match – 7/10

I really like the beginning instrumental and the short song bit at the very beginning of the song but the refrain hit again so it couldn’t go above a 7 for me.

Victory song – 6/10

Not a bad song but I don’t think the harmonies were there for this one and so I’m excited to see it in the last show again and hear if they improve.

Weston Reprise – 10/10

Oh my god I love this reprise so much. At first it sounds very like the original song then as the prefects slightly lose it as they realise what they have done it becomes more out of sync and the music quietens and it sounds more acapella and they sound slightly like they’re losing it due to the horror of what has happened. And the scratchiness of Gregory’s voice making it sound like he’s going to cry really reinforces that they are just children and they cannot deal with something like this.

Fight song – 7/10

I love the Undertaker taking Ciel to the side and staring at him crazily and singing at him. Again, I could hear Toshi’s nerves and I hope that he can sing the song better in the final show. I really love the Undertaker and Sebastian’s duet though and I think their voices sound really good together and I love the blood refrain in the song.

Finale song – 7/10

A pretty short but solid refrain of ‘It’s Perfect Black’

Direction: I thought the direction overall was pretty solid. There wasn’t anything really innovative attempted I don’t think but I didn’t really feel like there was anything lacking.

Overall: I really loved this show and look forward to seeing the final show and I think this show set up the new cast well for future shows.

Do I recommend buying the stream and DVD?

If you are a fan of 2.5D, any of these actors or Black Butler I really recommend trying to see this show. (The final show with be on 4th April on theatre-complex.jp and you can buy a ticket with just a vpn) While it is very different I feel like it was fairly faithful to its roots but is also trying to grow into something new.

Lastly: If you have any questions about the show, any parts, any songs or about any of the actors feel free to drop me an ask and let’s talk about it!

[fijiangecko]

Maintaining a New Life

Chapter 8 - In Motion

Read it on AO3 here

previous | next

~~~~~~

The sun had risen and set 3 times since each group began their hunts. Each day providing no new information and the hope of keeping each other safe felt as if it was getting farther and farther away. Kuroo, Oikawa and Iwazumi split off into two groups most of the time, Oikawa and Kuroo walking around town while Iwaizumi kept an eye out for any Port Mafia patrols and your car.

Iwaizumi refused to be alone with Kuroo, stating multiple times that he would “rather gauge his own eyes out then look at the fuckwad who drove out one of his best friends”. A tad bit harsh for Oikawa's taste, but he maintained the peace between the two whenever they brought tension to the table. Kuroo doesn’t mean to be irritating but there’s still so much he doesn’t understand, and these two don’t help in answering his questions since they don’t know much about your past and why you left.

On your end of things, you decided to lay low during the day and do some rounds on the streets at dusk and dawn. Largely things remained the same for the Port Mafia: they operated on the schedule you created and stuck to the same routine based on what vehicles and hangouts you’d seen so far. 

Guess they really haven’t progressed all that much since I left, you think while watching the endless stream of cars. Washijo’s health wasn’t too good, and I can’t imagine it’s gotten any better with all the stress of transferring power and dealing with the mess that I left.

After little to no new information and more questions than answers, the weekend rolled around and the sun has started to hang lower in the sky. You lean against the counter in your kitchen, sipping on a cup of tea and listen to the birds sing from tree to tree. Looking to the clock, you sigh and set the mug down, heading towards the bedroom.

If everything goes according to plan, this whole operation should be relatively quick and you can just leave the club within an hour of getting in. You sift through what little clothes you have and get ready to blend in with tonight’s crowd; standard makeup, nothing too flashy, and a relatively short dress to match. None of your shoes really fit, so the black sneakers would have to do for now. 

With a deep breath, you take a final glance in the mirror and mentally prepare for whatever the night has in store. You double check that your car is stacked with any you could possibly need and rev the engine, taking the dirt road down onto the streets.

The sun starts to set over the horizon, leaving the bright orange orb blaring down on the asphalt as the tires roll down the highway. You don’t bother to turn on the radio, deciding to run through the plan and all of the backups you have prepared. Through public records you were able to find the new layout plans for “The Neon Nights”, so you knew relatively where everything should be and how to get to it. That didn’t always translate into action, though. 

Instead of chewing on your lip you moved onto the inside of your cheek, ripping it to shreds over the course of the past couple of days. You haven’t been this nervous in quite a while and it was really starting to fuck with your head. 

Confidence and assurance were two very different things but often got confused for one another. Back at the ADA everyone just believed you to be confident, and that’s not to say that you weren’t. You know you are one hell of a detective, doing the work that needs to be done and doing it effectively, but it was more so that you knew you were safe and around people that were relatively safe as well. Standard protocol in the Port Mafia was not to fuck with others that had gifts. Washijo always stated that it was to keep the peace on the streets, but that was total bullshit. At the very least, you knew that while the ADA was on their radar, there wasn’t anything that they would be able to do in order to harm your friends.

Now everything was uncertain, there was no more assurance. You didn’t know if they were going to be safe. Tendou always did what he wanted and Washijo just turned a blind eye to it. Now he knows that you’re alive and in Yokohama.

On top of that, he saw you with the two of your right hand men that left shortly after you and a new man from the ADA. Tooru and Hajime were found out because you got careless.

The Port Mafia is also aware now of who Kuroo is and that he has connections to you. There’s always going to be a crosshair aimed at the back of his head if you don’t get into that club tonight and do everything you possibly can to erase those damn records of not only your existence, but everyone you care about too.

You blink hard, letting the colors settle behind your eyelids before reopening your eyes and focusing on the road. The stream of thoughts that just crossed your mind had left your heart and head pounding.

Nothing will happen to them as long as everything goes as planned. I’ll find the data servers and wipe whatever I can then skip town. Again, you go through the plan as the last bit of sun disappears around the edge of the world.

 Coming to a slow halt, you park a few blocks away and walk the area in order to secure a teleportation spot and secure an escape route. The checklist in your mind finally had everything marked and every movement from now on was going to be almost robotic as you try to act like the crowd around you. Countless couples and parties line the edge of the building you once knew as a headquarters, the stink of alcohol present already from those who were leaving the venue for whatever reason.

By your lonesome you wait to meet the bouncer at the door, minutes passing as the line dwindles down until you can hear the muffled electronic music. The ground felt like it was shaking from the hundreds of people all dancing just a few feet past this wall. You peer around a few people ahead of you and make note of a pin on the bouncer's suit jacket, confirming that this club is still under mafia control.

You take another deep breath and just hope that news of your reappearance was just kept to the inner circle and henchmen like him weren’t informed quite yet of what was happening. The person in front of you walks inside the club, leaving you face to face with the man with shades. He looks you up and down, your heart picking up as you smile sweetly. Charm wasn’t your specialty but you know the basics. Without another moment to spare, he nods towards the mass of people and you quickly take your place inside the dark and dense room.

The music increases tenfold from when you were outside, feeling the bass changing the rhythm of your heartbeat. Hundreds of people crowd the center of the room, dancing to their hearts out while others line the bars stretched out on the walls.

You walk to the furthest side of the bar, mapping out where you are in your head and making note of little landmarks on the map you practically memorized. Figuring it would look more natural, you squeeze yourself in and order something. Partially to calm your nerves. 

“And the devil herself appears.” Chills run up and down your spine, the voice of whomever just spoke stopping you dead in your tracks. They lean in real close,from behind, lips grazing your ear, their breath warm against your skin as they whisper to you. “Nice to see you Y/N.”

Cautiously you turn your head and face the voice, only to be met with a head of bleached hair and a sultry smile. “Miss me?” He says while placing his hands on his hips.

“Terushima.” The tension in your body hadn’t quite left, unsure of where his loyalties are makes your mind run a thousand miles per second. You prepare to portal out of the club, but his hand on your wrist interrupts everything.

“Let’s have a chat in the back, yeah?” Before you even know what’s going on, you're being dragged to one of the side hallways and up a set of stairs. You take in the surroundings the best you can while being pulled along and realize that he’s taking you back to what used to be the main office area.

Terushima pushes open a set of doors into a lounge area. A large sectional couch faces glass panes that showcase the entirety of the club and a small personal bar and desk line the other two walls in the room. He lets go of the hold on your wrist and beelines it to the alcohol and starts to construct his own drink.

You’re stiff as a board in the center of the room, still taking in everything that just happened in the last two minutes. He watches as you try and create a plan, and laughs out loud at your distraught. “I’m not gonna tell anyone you know.”

It’s like your body snaps when you move to look at him. “Excuse me?”

“I said, ‘I’m not going to tell anyone’.” He strains his cocktail into a glass and saunters over to the couch, sitting himself down. “I really don’t do any work with the Port Mafia since I manage the club. There’s no real benefit to me telling them.”

“Wait,” you blink and scrunch your face together as you follow him down onto the couch, “you manage the club now?”

“Bingo.” The amber drink in his hands disappears slowly as it glides down his throat. “After you left and Tendou took over your position they redistributed everything and wanted to change our little jazz club into a full blow nightclub for the younger people to come and party. I was pretty much the only person around that knew how to keep everything relatively in order, so here we are.” The one free hand Terushima has open lifts up off of his thigh and plops back down in a sort of defeat. His chocolatey spheres hold your gaze.

“And you gave up on singing?” It’s an honest question. The last time you both had a serious conversation was when Terushima was the main singer for your aforementioned jazz club.

“No, more like I took a break. I couldn’t really say no to the Port Mafia so I put my career on hold.” A pained expression flashes across his face before returning to his previous position.

“I’m really sorry Teru.” You scoot closer to him on the cushion, setting your drink down on the table at the center and resting a hand on his shoulder. It was the best consoling you got considering this is basically your fault.

“Don’t be.” He can see the guilt in your eyes and quickly dismisses them. “You did what was better for yourself. Anyone who couldn’t see that you were unhappy was stupid and it wasn’t a suprise when they told me you were gone.” He rests that free hand on top of yours and rubs circles onto the back of your hand while reaching down to place his drink on the same table. “I just thought that I would never see you again, so spotting you by the bar tonight really shook me to the core, y’know?”

The smile that finishes his sentence is wicked, lips curling up at the end. There was always something left unsaid between you both; light touches here and there, lingering glances from across the dimly lit club room and the handful of “dates” (according to him) shared between you two. It never went anywhere; he being the flirt he was made you very nonchalant about his advances. Plus there was the matter of his gift that made things complicated, so it was just better for you to stay out of trouble the best you could.

Things are different now, though. Terushima didn’t cause your chest to tighten or make the blood in your system rush to your cheeks when you thought of what it would be like to be with him late into the night, curled into one another and just simply being. No, that spot now belonged to a tall, lean and dark haired man that weaseled his way into your heart and mind by using his shitty science puns and awkward dancing when he was almost blackout drunk. Those nights of wondering what life would be like with someone else no longer contained bleach blonde hair or a tongue piercing, but the easy comfort that came from Kuroo Tetsuro.

“Yeah, about that.” Your grasp on his shoulder tightens, other fist clenching “Tendou saw me a couple days ago and I’m pretty sure he’s on the hunt. I need to find the P.M. servers-”

“So you came here to find them.” He cuts you off, but doesn’t finish the sentence with a question. He might be a playboy but he’s been through the ringer once or twice and knows that you just didn’t show up tonight to see him. “Unfortunately they moved them a couple of years ago to create an arms deal station in the basement. To my knowledge they took all that stuff to Club Impac-”

Suddenly a young lady busts through the doors, drunkenly falling onto the floor with her eyes completely unfocused on the area around her. A man in a suit comes rushing down the corridor, targeting the woman on the ground.

With many apologies the guard pulls the woman rather harshly off of the ground and looks up to once again ask for forgiveness from Terushima, but meets your cold eyes instead. The spur of the moment interruption caused you to turn around in your seat and watch the events unfold.

Unknown to you, this man had worked under Ushijima for years and had met your eyes years ago. He recognized the dead stare you were giving him currently, but continued pulling the woman out of the room. A bitter taste fills his mouth as he shuts the doors, immediately ditching the woman by the restrooms and walking to the head of security to inform him of the guest that just happened to be sitting up in the lounge.

“Anyways…” Terushima continues filling you in on what has happened logistically within the mafia since your leaving.

Roughly 30 minutes prior to that conversation, miles out into the outskirts of the city the three men who have been trying to catch you at the right time huddled around a coffee table and went over their plan of attack one last time.

“You both got it?” Iwaizumi flicked the last piece of paper in a file down onto the hardwood, looking between the two taller men. Wordlessly they both nodded and turned to grab their respective bags with the appropriate clothes for the night. Oikawa’s outfit was a little more classy then the others to match his personality, Kuroo and Iwaizumi going for something pretty simple just in case anything goes haywire, but with their final touches done up they were ready to set out for the night.

“Do you really think that she’s going to be here tonight?” Kuroo asked Oikawa while Iwaizumi called a taxi. They were a little behind schedule and missed the train, so they had to opt for something quick.

“Out of everything we’ve done so far, I think this is our best chance at catching her. This club used to be a faux headquarters for her. I’m almost positive that she’s either looking for a certain someone,” Iwaizumi catches the tone in Oikawa’s voice as he spoke, making eyes at him while he finished his sentence, “or that she left something behind.”

They both knew that you were fond of Terushima, but they also knew that you had moved on from all of that. You had your eyes set on someone else. That still didn’t mean that you weren’t there for him, but the idea that it was anything but business was a little far fetched.

“So you guys used to be there all the time?” The taxi pulled up to the curb, waiting for Kuroo and the others to hop in. 

“Yeah. Every weekend she would have us come have drinks with her since we were her ‘groupies’, essentially .” Iwaizumi answered, using quotations with his fingers to get the point across. “It was more like a weekly check in but sometimes all we did was catch up with one another.”

The memories warmed his heart. He never once felt like he was working for you, but alongside you. You truly cared about their goals and ambitions, oftentimes ignoring the actual work that the Port Mafia wanted to get done and helping the citizens most in need. Coincidentally, that was how you made the most money and controlled the most area - the people liked you. Being in your squad was a different experience from every other job he had within the Mafia, and as soon as you disappeared he knew that he was going to have to get out sooner rather than later.

Oikawa felt the exact same way, and couldn’t imagine a life where he and Iwaizumi didn’t work together, so they devised a plan and faked their deaths in order to obtain what little freedom that would allow. Both knew that you weren’t dead, no matter how solid the evidence looked, and stuck their foot in the ground in Yokohama in an effort to find you. Two years later they accepted jobs as detectives with the ADA and walked in to see you, sitting at a desk, smiling and laughing with your fellow detectives.

The car ride was silent for the most part, the taxi driver asked a handful of questions before letting the radio fill the dead air. Iwaizumi kept track of how close they were and directed the driver to a few blocks off so they could walk up to the club (he really didn’t want to get this poor guy involved, so better to keep him out of it).

With a small wave from Oikawa, the boys head down the streets but their moods quickly shift as streams of people flood out of the building. The screams of hundreds fills the night air and the heavy footsteps of the three carry as closely as possible to the front entrance. Crowds topple over one another in an attempt to make it out safely as the sound of a single gunshot ricochets off of every surface, furthering the panic in the chests of innocents. Eyes flicking to every possible entrance, Kuroo feels deep down in his soul that you’re inside - you’re either the one firing or being fired at and either causes his chest to tighten, the neverending pit of anxiety at the bottom of his stomach somehow growing deeper. The three stand like a rock against a current of bodies, everyone just running past them and filling the space behind the group as they run.

Only a few moments before their arrival, Terushima and yourself were finishing your drinks and sharing a laugh when splinters flick off the set of doors, and single shot entering the room and shattering the large glass windows that look down on the dance floor. The initial panic takes a second to kick in before the patrons below start their scramble. Terushima’s instincts kicked in and he grabbed you rather harshly and shoved you down onto the ground, covering your body with his own.

“We know you’re in there Y/N!” The voice that spoke was unfamiliar to you, probably just some higher level goon that happened to know what was going on. While tucked under Terushima’s body, you open a small portal to the dashboard of your car and grab the handgun you left waiting. It always pays off to have a backup plan, you think while taking in the surrounding area. The men had yet to breach the room itself, leaving an opportunity for both of you to escape, whether that be jumping down onto the dance floor or using a portal.

“Teru,” his eyes focus on the door but you know he’s listening to your harsh whispers, “we can jump down and blend in the crowd-”

“No.” His jaw clenches, the lines on his face becoming harsher. “They deliberately shot at the window to lure us out there. The one talking is the head of this district so I’m sure every mobster in the area is here keeping an eye out for you.”

“Fuck…” your heart beats just as fast as your brain fires off thousands of different ideas. The crowd of people down below scream for help as they run out into the night and then another shot comes, this time it sounds like it’s from down below. In the crowd.

“Are they firing at civilians?!” Your mind spirals down. What the fuck are they thinking?

“One of those idiots might’ve thought that they saw you.” Terushima detaches himself from you and reaches under one of the tables, grabbing a hidden handgun and making sure it’s loaded.

As he checks the magazine, you muster up a portal big enough for a person to fit through, the other end looking out onto the streets. “Get in Teru. They’re after me.” You plead him with both your eyes and your voice, hands twitching around the cold metal of your pistol.

“Not happening sweetheart.” His smile is sly and coy, teasing you almost. “This is my club that they’re ruining and these people are my guests.” He gestures to the window and then to you, slowing the fall of his hand to emphasize his next words. “It’s my duty to protect them.”

Your lips tugs into a smile and you shut the portal. “Alright then.”

Down on the streets below the three men try to push up river through the endless streams of people running away from yet another shot. Women fall over, others trampling them in the fearful haze that covers the downtown. Iwaizumi rushes over and picks them up, shielding them from the hoards of shoes and getting them back on their feet.

SUV’s among other black vehicles speed around various street corners and men in suits start to surround the area, each fitted with different weapons of different calibers. Pressure grows in the small atmosphere of the downtown area, ears yearning to pop and get ahold of the situation but Kuroo doesn’t know if he would rather feel the throbbing in his head or the despair of hundreds.

Oikawa spins in circles, taking in every detail he can of the mayhem. Each of his senses feels like they’re on fire, enhanced from the sudden change in pace. It would be suicide to use his gift now, so the best he can do in trust his brain to intake whatever information is available.

The three converge after each attains their bearings and stand back to back. “What now?” Iwaizumi is forced to yell over the collage of sounds.

“We go in? I mean she’s gotta be in there, right?!” Oikawa shouts equally as loud, still turning his head around to look at the distressed faces. His voice comes out exasperated and rushed, his breathing picking up.

“Go in?! We can barely move five feet forward, how the fuck are we supposed to get in?” Kuroo takes the more logical stance, trying his best to find a solution to the problem at hand: what to do next.

Luckily, Oikawa, in his twisty turn around scavenger hunt, had spotted a fire escape on the side of the closest apartment building. If they wanted to get a height advantage and take a moment to clear their heads, that would be the spot. He shakes both of his companions shoulders and gestures his head to the ladder. Lightbulbs light up in their heads and slowly but surely they take small steps towards the iron bars, giving the people enough time to adjust to the change in current.

It only takes a minute or two to finally reach the ladder, Iwa hoisting Tooru with weaved fingers and will to lift with his legs, not his back. One handed, Oikawa pulls down the ladder and the three make their way to the landing.

The chaos seen from above is only less claustrophobic as it doesn't let their hearts take a moment to rest. Rather, showcasing the complete lack of control from anyone down below. Every person down below looks like a rat on the loose, caught at the wrong time as they scatter in all directions. Kuroo leans over the edge of the railing, trying to get a better view of the inside of the club.

“There’s a bunch of guys with guns pointed at the top room, part of the window was either smashed or shot at since it’s all over the floor.” Iwa observes to the left of Kuroo, also leaning over the delicate iron bars.

“Can you see in that top room?” Kuroo squints, but it doesn’t enhance his vision.

“Not really,” Iwaizumi starts to tilt his head in various directions, finding the best angle to peer inside that room. “Looks like there’s two people up there but I can’t make out any faces.”

“We should’ve brought Akaashi…” Kuroo mumbles to himself, at this point wondering everything that could’ve been different in this moment. “Well one of them has to be Y/N. I think that’s a given at this point.”

“That or she’s the woman one of the guys has hostage on the lower level.” Oikawa notes, gesturing to each of them to come to where he stands and uses his hand to try and guide their view to a better position.

You also take note of the hostage, peeking down from the remains of the windows. The thought that the Port Mafia is now so low that they would take hostages in order to obtain an ex-member leaves a bad taste on the tip of your tongue. Cold metal brushes your chest as you keep your gun close to your chest. Being as silent as possible, you carefully crouch around the room and get eyes on everything you can.

Terushima had taken off his blazer just a few seconds ago, throwing it over the edge of the couch and creeping closer to the double doors. He listens to whatever words he can make out through the veil of screams and footsteps, retaining only the name “Tendou”.

His head turns to yours from across the room, mouthing the words “Tendou is coming”.

With a clenched jaw, you turn back to the dance floor and see that two more girls were being kicked onto the ground, making a total of three hostages. Hands cover their ears as they plead for their lives.

“Alright Y/N! You’ve got one choice: you either turn yourself over right now or you sit and wait until Satori gets here and we kill those girls and Terushima!” Whoever spoke before loudy shouts again, the words bouncing off of every glossy surface of the club.

GODDAMMIT! Sweat builds in the palm of your hands, the bass from the speakers making the miniscule shards of glass on the ground shake; bits and pieces falling off the ledge and into various crevices in the tile. There’s really only one thing left to do, you think to yourself and Terushima watches as the familiar cerulean hue starts to color the very lines of your body. 

A portal opens to your left, the circle opening up to a view of the entryway of the building. From this vantage point you can see a group of men, all in suits and with their weapons either pointed at the hostages or the balcony. Without hesitation you aim the barrel of the gun at the closest guy and fire at his leg. The bullet enters his calf muscle, leaving through the shin and he immediately keels over. Other men are alerted by the sound and turn quickly to find the source. Like a trained soldier you close and open various portals, one at a time and in dissimilar spots to try and confuse them, and fire potshots at whoever catches your eye first. 

Arguing continues between Kuroo and Iwaizumi as they battle on what to do next; one trying to approach the situation like it’s made of delicate porcelain and the other ready to give blood, sweat and tears. Oikawa refuses to let his eyes leave the club, and it proves to be useful as rifts start to open and close within the confined space. His eyes dilate and once again he slaps Iwa on the shoulder mid sentence.

“What the hell Shittykawa?!” Iwa gnashes, foam practically running down the side of his mouth.

“She’s making her move.” Dominos start to fall, but for once in a very long time the two don’t know what lies at the end of the line. Kuroo can’t believe what he’s seeing - he’s only ever seen you use your gift sparingly and in desperate situations, never to an extent such as this. The last piece of the puzzle finally goes into place as it dawns on Tetsuro that this is life or death. There is no playing around and there are no wrong moves. 

“Alright Iwaizumi: I’m in.”

The aforementioned turns to him with a blank expression, a little unsure of what to do now. Oikawa watches as Kuroo claps his hands together and squats down and it hits him all at once; this is the first time he’s ever seen Kuroo’s gift in any capacity. Satisfied with the warm feeling on his skin, Tetsuro releases his hands and places them on the iron below, the space surrounding them glowing like they do.

In an instance, the vibrancy dies down and on the landing lies two items in a similar shape to hand grenades. A smirk tugs at his features and he states, “We’ll get in with these.”

Their jaws drop and Tooru starts to huff in disbelief, “I can appreciate your tenacity Kuroo-san but that seems like overkill.”

“Seriously…” Iwa adds sarcastically, slightly sticking out his arm to act as a shield between the two.

The smile disappears quickly and Kuroo brings a hand up to rub his brows. “They’re smoke grenades…”

Forming an ‘o’ with his mouth, Tooru starts to nod his head and Hajime drops the raised arm. “I knew that.”

Licking his lips, Kuroo passes one of the grenades to Iwaizumi and mouths “of course you did” to silently mock them. At least they share a brain cell.

Another few minutes pass, the gang of men make their way back down the ladder and into the frey. During that time you remain using the same tactic, effectively avoiding any unwanted attention from the growing crowd of henchmen. More had been called in after your initial shot, the head honcho making plays over the various walkie talkies. 

You close a portal and let your chest heave, taking long deep breaths and settling down. The spacing of your shots has been growing larger to keep the suspense up, but in this timeframe you create a mini portal to grab a new magazine and reload. You close your eyes and let the noise wrap you like a blanket, surrounding you and taking precedence over every other sense in your body. Right as you whip to the right and start to open a rift, the small tinks of metal on concrete are drowned out.

Slowly, smoke swirls around the dance floor, rising and expanding out in all directions. Another can sputter to life and causes the room to turn opaque. Light bounces around in rays that color the white sheet that now fills the room.

Right outside the doors of the club Iwaizumi charges up his ability, letting a firm feeling prick every inch of his skin before ramming himself through the doors. Tooru sticks to his back and fires at every shape he can make out through the fog, Kuroo acting as the kaboose and covering any stragglers that those two seem to miss.

From your end of things, the room starts to fill with white and immediately you shut the gateway, watching from your perch as the fog dissipates right as it reaches your feet. Terushima also evaluates the situation, deciding to take the chance and barge out of the doors and tackle whoever is closest. Unfortunately he didn’t think super far ahead and that leaves you in a compromising position.

Gunfire fills the hallways of the building, but the light that flashes up on the second level lets Kuroo know that shit’s going down. Without hesitation he leaves formation and hauls ass down the hall and up some stairs. Four men in total block his path to you, two being on the floor and the other two shooting in your general direction.  

It’s as if red seeps into his eyelids, rage pumps through his veins at a level he thought himself incapable. The barrel of his gun points down at the thigh of one of the standing men. As soon as the bullet hits its mark he rushes the other one and knocks him upside the head with the butt of the gun. In less than three minutes Kuroo had entered the building and knocked out two guys in order to rush to your side.

A wedge was pushed in the cogs in your brain, halting all functions and making your eye twitch. Kuroo squats down to meet your eye level and stares at you with piercing golden eyes. His pupils dilate when they meet yours which are full of confusion, then disbelief and finally annoyance.

“You fuckin’ asshole.” The words should be lost to the mirage of the night, but they’re the only things Kuroo can hear.

Almost scared, he reaches forward and curls his fingers around the flesh of your forearm and responds. “Let’s get out of here.”

Whatever shock that stopped your brain had washed over and now it felt like everything was moving too quickly in order to catch up. The fog was starting to clear and you can make out the figures of both Oikawa and Iwaizumi down on the dance floor below, watching each other's backs. Terushima stands near the edge of the balcony and joins them in taking down what seems to be an endless stream of goons.

He turns to you and winks, a silent goodbye as Kuroo grabs a tight hold of your arm and pulls you off of the ground. It’s a blur as you leap over several unconscious men and down the stairs. Whatever crowd was left was thin at best, no civilians in sight and many mafia members toppled over. Iwaizumi steps backwards towards you two, Oikawa shifting himself so the three act as armor around you.

Just as swift as the entrance, the boys shove you along and out into the streets. The screeching of tires alerts the four of you, yet another SUV speeds down the narrow streets of the downtown.

“Fuck” you whisper and get your bearings. Your legs are quicker than your brain and you shout, “follow me!” Your two fellow ex-members are already by your sides and Kuroo lags behind. Quickly you throw the keys to Iwaizumi. “When we get to the car, just drive. Doesn’t matter what streets you go down.”

Yet again Kuroo watches as the three of you work together like a well oiled machine, Hajime practically ripping the door off of its hinges and shaking the car as he sits. Tooru follows suit on the passenger side and deja vu strikes hard once Kuroo gets his but down into the seat.

Iwaizumi revs the engine and rapidly turns the wheel from side to side as the car skids and jolts into the center of a major road.

“Whatever happens, just keep her in the center of the road!” You whirl around and face the rear windshield, spotting the vehicles that now tail you all. Luckily the night means less traffic and Hajime can keep to the center of the road. Whoever was driving this late at night veers out of the way as the street turns crowded with several cars turning corners rather fast and joining in with those that already follow you.

You roll down the window next to you and start to shoot blindly out of the side, not daring to stick your whole body out of the car like last time due to the sheer amount of firepower that would be sure to hit you. Kuroo and Oikawa do the same as you, Kuroo ducking his head while doing so just in case any bullets come flying in through the back window and Oikawa tries to use the side mirror to aim his shots. 

Not even two minutes since this drive began and cop cars light up the road ahead, about three quarters of a mile in front.

“Uhh Y/N! We got a problem!” Iwaizumi white knuckles the steering wheel and starts to turn it, planning on going down one of the side streets to put all threats behind your car. You whip your head around and evaluate the situation, quickly realizing that this is an opportune moment for something you’ve been keeping up your sleeve.

“You better keep this car in the center of the road Hajime or so help me God I will kill you before anyone else has the chance!” You scream and place yourself in the center of the back bench which gives you a relatively clear view of the road. Breathing in through your nose and out with your mouth, you clap your hands together much like Kuroo did earlier in the night. Continuing your breathing pattern, Hajime returns the car to the center of the road.

“Step on the gas.” You command, your eyes closed in concentration.

“Y/N are you sure?!” There wasn’t a hint of doubt in Iwaizumi’s questioning, but more of a confirmation of action.

“Just fucking do it!”

The clock ticks down as both forces start to close in. Five seconds before impact: the cops are unsure what to do. Some stopped their vehicles and were preparing road spikes while the others continue charging forward and speak through the sound system, warning you all of what’s going to happen. The Port Mafia also starts to slow down as they are just as confused as the police. No one really knows what you have in plan, but those in charge of each group are determined to get to the bottom of things.

Four seconds to go and the pit at everyone’s stomach grows a size larger; a faint sapphire glow emanates just from your hands and Kuroo watches curiously. The phrase trusting someone with your life had never meant much to him, but in this moment he really understood the complete lack of control he has.

Three; Oikawa sits up right in his seat and straps himself in, also closing his eyes to alleviate the stress of the scene before him.

Two; the glow around your fingertips has grown exponentially into something almost blinding. Iwaizumi steadies the wheel and fights the urge to jerk the car.

Right before impact with the front runner the view of a country road lined with trees fills Hajime and Kuroo’s eyes. The car barely fits into the rift and bounces up and down. You weren’t able to align the two roads perfectly off of memory, so you opted to have it a little high up. Kuroo checks behind them and the road is empty. No sight of any buildings or vehicles - just a clear sky and the wilderness that surrounds them.

Tooru didn’t realize he was clutching onto his chest strap until he opens his eyes and lets out a breath he was holding. Hajime adjusts quickly to the new territory and slows the car down some, leaning back into his seat. Kuroo, amazed that you were in the clear, turns to you, but your head is lolled to the side. 

“Y/N?” Ever so gently, he shakes your shoulder and your eyes crack open. You turn to face him and blood is streaming from one nostril, down your face and dripping onto your shirt. He freezes up, just now realizing how much this whole ordeal must’ve taken out of you.

A tissue appears in front of both of your faces, Tooru’s hand attached to it. “You always pull that stuff off last second even though you could’ve just done it as soon as we got in the car.”

“Fuck off,” you sound drained and totally devoid of any emotion. “If we can get out of it without having to port out then we’ll do it that way, but the cops got in the way.” You take the tissue and start to wipe up whatever you can, your movements slow.

“Are you alright?” Kuroo is unsure of his place, a total contrast from inside the club when he was the most assertive you had ever seen him.

“Loaded question.” You want so badly to drop them off on the side of the road and hope that they just leave you alone, but your eyes blur every few seconds and you know that you are in no position to drive. Several emotions bubble up at the thought that they kept looking for you, put their lives on the line to find you and actually ended up saving you.

Effectively dodging the question, you slide back over to your side of the car and place your head on the window, giving Hajime directions to your home. They’re smart enough to know that now isn’t the time to talk, nor is it the time to ask questions like “what’s next?” and so on.

The high beams of your car light up the large house at the end of the gravel road, your headache nearing its end and the boys all ogle at your property. A flick of his hands and Iwaizumi turns the car off, then steps out into the cold air. He takes a few steps back and precariously opens the door you’re leaning on. With careful consideration, he crouches down and tries to let you use him as a crutch, but in all the time you had to think on the ride here, you shove him off and stumble a bit.

Gaining some balance, you speak with an unwavering tone. “What you did tonight was stupid. All of you.” You turn and meet each of their eyes, Kuroo and Oikawa still on the other side of the car. “I explicitly told you all not to get involved and still you fucking showed up.”

They all freeze at the accusatory finger you’re pointing and watch as you start to back yourself up to the entryway. Iwaizumi, who normally decides to let Tooru charm his way out of things, is the first to speak. “You’re right.” His eyes bore into your own, but he continues. “But that doesn’t change the fact that if we weren’t there you would’ve been fucked.”

“As if.” You spit back, not thinking clearly as you’re more focused on getting your own point across. Hajime only started fights when he thought it was absolutely necessary. This didn’t cross your mind, but Tooru’s as he realizes the upcoming screaming match. 

“As if?!” His voice booms over the forest, possibly shaking the leaves on the trees. “You were backed into a fucking corner Y/N! For god's sake, did you think Terushima was gonna be able to help you out of that shitshow?” He stops his assault for a moment, seeing if you would answer but you grind your teeth instead. “You needed our help. We’re the ones that got you out of that situation-”

“Hajime-”

“No Tooru! She doesn’t get to disappear behind everyone’s backs and tell us NOT to find her! Especially not us.” Tooru purses his lips, knowing that he’s right. Tooru would’ve thought that maybe after the first day or two you would contact them, allowing them to help, all things considered. He knows where Hajime is coming from and ultimately decides to let him continue. “She sure as fuck doesn’t get to tell us that we didn’t help either. I know damn well that once we all cool off you’re gonna have to apologize and admit to me that I was right.”

“That still doesn’t change the fact that you still decided to follow me.”  You're quick with your rebuttal. “I’m trying my best to protect you all-” A cackle catches you mid sentence, and you watch as Iwaizumi rests a hand over his face and laughs, shoulders shaking. “What? What’s so hilarious Hajime?”

“Do you really think that we need protecting?” His eyes peek through the cracks in his fingers, a sly smirk curling his lips.

“Maybe you don’t but the Port Mafia knows now that I’m involved with the agency. For the safety and protection of everyone I need to erase myself from their records and go away.” This is your retreat. You can feel your own arms wrap around your form and start rubbing slow circles into your sides. The more you think about it, the more you realize that you’re just pleading for them to live. Or pleading with them to leave you with the idea that they’ll be living a peaceful life without you.

“You do know who you’re talking about, right?” Iwaizumi takes his hand off of his face and glares at you. “You got Bokuto, who is an accidental genius; Sugawara and myself who act like human shields; Tanaka and Nishinoya who are the wildcards; Kenma and Asahi who can heal practically any injury and Kuroo, who can literally create a bomb if he has the right materials within his vicinity.” As he lists off the various members he sticks fingers up and counts. “I don’t think they need as much protection as you seem to think. I bet everyone’s losing their shit right now since you just walked out and now the three of us have been M.I.A. for almost a week.”

While he presents a pretty good argument, it feels like it just goes in one ear and out the other. Your only goal right now is to get them to understand that you don’t want them here. Anything you can do to save them is the top priority, and having them here with you is a fucking nuisance. “I don’t give a rat's ass about any of that! You and Torru have seen what the Port Mafia is capable of and there’s is nothing that is going to stop them from finding me! If that means blowing up the agency building, they will! You know Tendou will do anything and Washijo will just let him!”

“Y/N.” The desperation in your voice is becoming more apparent with each word as your sentences speed up and your tone gets higher and higher. Oikawa walks around the car and stands next to Hajime, taking your beat of silence as a cue to speak. “You know you can’t say that anymore. We haven’t been with them for years. Washijo might be too sick to even speak.”

“Plus everyone at the agency knows what this job entails.”

“You don’t get to talk Tetsuro.” He stands behind the two, and honestly your rage was so hyper focused on Oikawa and Iwaizumi that you forgot he was there. You snap at spit back. “It’s not a matter of knowing what they signed up for more than a problem of the Port Mafia doing whatever they want.”

“That’s why we’re here to help you.” Tooru still stands between you and the others, the mediator. “You know that we’ll do everything we can, everything you say, in order to protect them. Tendou didn’t just see you that night. Obviously he doesn’t care all that much about us but we’re on their records too so it’s not just your problem.”

“I can’t fucking do this right now.” It feels like no one is listening to you, just throwing water in the tank you’re already drowning in. With a sigh and balled fists, you come to a hasty decision. “You can all stay here tonight. I expect you to be gone by midday.” Without a chance to speak, you storm into the house and start preparing mats for them to sleep on.

Tooru runs his tongue over his teeth, lips shut and starts tapping his foot. There were a thousand different possibilities for how tonight could’ve gone - this being one that wasn’t on his radar. Hajime feels the frustration bubble over, but he knows there’s not much else he can say that will get to you. Focusing his attention on Tooru, he pats his shoulder and says, “She’s not gonna budge. C’mon.” The two walk into the house, following the lights and let you finish preparing their room.

Swiftly you finish fluffing the pillows and brushing past them, avoiding any contact, any chance for them to stop you. You slide open the door for the next room over and raid the closet, setting the room up for Kuroo.

“Y/N wait.” For one reason or another, you stop your actions and look to the aforementioned, him standing in the doorway. With a final push of your muscles, you throw the mat down on the floor and wait for what’s next. “I just wanted to say that- that I want to do everything I can to help you. I know it’s not much but Iwaizumi and Oikawa have been doing so much and I really think that-”

“Go to bed Kuroo. You guys are gonna have a long day making your way back into the city tomorrow, so you’re gonna need all the sleep you can get.” You shoulder check him, leaving the room and the yet to be unfurled bed mat on the floor.

In the late hours of the night you find yourself tossing and turning. The entirety of the past few hours replayed in your mind, every situation rewinds and restarts as you analyze the points that the guys made. You wouldn’t have lived through last night if it wasn’t for them. There’s no way in hell Tendou wouldn’t have gotten his hands on you if it wasn't for them.

You sit up, sweat dripping off of your brow bone and everything starts to feel like it’s closing in. The four walls around you feel like hands around your throat and your chest heaves. Throwing off the duvet you stand up and stretch, the small pops and clicks from your back. After a few moments you slide open the door and step into the hallway, heading to the kitchen to start a kettle.

Maybe you were being a little harsh on them earlier. Tendou was a real threat and only sought you out, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that whoever that boy was with him a few nights ago seemed to recognize you, Oikawa and Iwaizumi. They were there with you through thick and thin when you had to organize almost half of the mafia’s patrol cars, pickup sites and so much more. You went above and beyond to prove to that old fucking geezer that you deserved to be in your seat as an executive. Tooru and Hajime did nothing but support you, even after they discovered that you did in fact fake your death and worked as a detective in the same city they thought you abandoned. Even after that they still treated you like nothing happened.

The kettle whistles and you take it off the heat, trying your best to stay as quiet as possible in the early morning hours. Preparing a tea strainer and some leaves, you grab a mug and start to assemble everything. As the tea steeps, you open the back door and let the cool breeze engulf your body. 

The wood that covers the porch is cool to the touch, the soles of your feet uncomfortable, wanting to go back inside but you continue forward. The only things warming you under the cascade of stars is the mug between your hands and a blanket you placed around your shoulders. You venture off of the porch onto the soft moss that tickles your toes. Further into the trees is a small creek, in which you placed a few hardwood chairs.

No distractions, you allowed yourself to continue your train of thought from earlier. Once it fully settles in your consciousness that they are in their own right to want to be a part of this battle. Just as much was on the line for them as it was for you, and it never really hit until now. 

So what would happen if I let them stay?

This was the real kicker. And before you knew it, you were going through every possible scenario you could think of, listing the pros and cons of having a team to work with rather than only relying on yourself. 

The moon shifts throughout the night sky as you get up a few times to refill your cup, and before you know it rays of sunshine start to peer through the fog that settles under the canopy of leaves. With a new piping cup in your hands you resume the various tracks of different decisions. Inside, Kuroo slowly cracks open his eyes, the sunshine peeking through the blinds and the birds chirping. In the other room Iwaizumi sighs heavily and looks over Tooru. Shadows define his jaw and cheekbones, even accentuating the curve of his lips and the flutter of his lashes when he finally opens his eyes.

“G’morning.” Hajime’s voice is scratchy, his eyes red from the haziness that comes in the morning.

“Morning.” With a smile, they both take their time getting up and ready for the day. 

Kuroo straightens out his clothes (which he slept in) and walks out into the living room. He notes the kettle and jars of loose tea leaves on the counter, also noting that you’re nowhere to be seen. The door to your room is open as well, arousing his suspicion.

A glance passes between the two men as they each put back into their clothes. First it was Hajime trying to catch a glance at Tooru, and then vice versa just a few seconds later. They stumble around one another, pick dusting their cheeks but neither speaks.

A knock at the door interrupts their game of cat and mouse along with a voice. “Have you guys seen Y/N?”

Hajime finishes the buttons of his shirt and slides the door open. “No? She’s not here?” It’s like last night all over again, the panic bubbling in his chest.

“I haven’t seen her at all, and her room’s empty. I think she’s around since the car is still here and there’s stuff on the counter, I was just wondering if you guys heard or saw her?” Kuroo fidgets with his fingers, picking at the cuticles with his nail.

“You checked all the rooms?” Hajime takes command of the situation, stepping out of his room and into the living space.

“Yeah, all empty.” Kuroo follows him and Oikawa behind Kuroo.

“Well the back door is open, so…” Tooru nods towards the door although no one sees it.

Without another word the trio walk into the forest, taking in the scenery before them. Calm was the one word that came to mind. Branches crunch under their heels, alarming you to their presence. 

They can see your figure up just ahead and slow their roll. Kuroo stops in his tracks and just looks at you bathing in the golden sunlight, hair disheveled and eyes baggy once you finally turn and face them.

“Morning boys.” You sound and look tired, each of them knowing that you probably didn’t get any sleep at all but continue down the path to meet you. With a single gesture you get them to sit in the chairs beside you. You say nothing as you drink the cold tea - or what’s left of it at this point.

“What’s going on up there Y/N?” Oikawa pokes his temple and looks at you with the most sincere eyes. It’s not like the question wasn’t just on his mind, but the silence was starting to kill him.

“I did a lot of reflecting last night,” you start, setting the small cup onto the moss and straightening up. “For starters, I hope you all can forgive me for the way I treated you last night. It was unfair and I finally get that we’re all fighting for the same thing. You all have just as much reason to fight the Port Mafia as I do.” You make eye contact with each of them individually as you try to convey remorse. 

They each take it the same, knowing that adrenaline was high and that you meant the best for all of them. If anything, Hajime knows that the both of you will need to have a one on one conversation later to clear the air. 

“As for what I said last night,” you turn your eyes downward, knowing that you can’t bear to stare at their eager eyes, “I thought about it, and I want to take it all back. If you want, I could use the extra hands.”

Silence settles again, but Tooru doesn’t let it last long. He stands up from his chair and rushes over to give you a big hug. His arms encase you and he puts his head close to your shoulder. “Thank you.”

It catches you off guard, but tears build in your eyes. What did you ever do to deserve them? “Of course. I knew you guys weren’t gonna leave me alone once you knew where I've been hiding.”

“Damn straight.” Hajime joins the hug, placing his head on your other shoulder.

Kuroo stays in his seat and watches the scene unfold, not wanting to ruin a second reunion. He goes back to fiddling with his fingers and looking at the ground until the three of you break off from one another. You walk over to him and place a hand over his, preventing him from doing any more damage to his hands. Maneuvering them in a way to grasp one of his hands, he looks up at you, the rays of sunshine behind you, filling the forest.

Holding onto his rough hand and smiling down on him, you say “Let’s get to work.”

[ficsnroses]

Worried - John Wick x Reader Oneshot

From the Comfort Series of Fluffy Oneshots :)

Word Count : 3.5k

Warnings : So Much Fluff. Angst. Brief hospitalization (nothing serious!) Also, will I ever come up with a creative title?

Summary : On his way to pick up his girlfriend, Y/N, for an evening out, John receives a call from the hospital.

A/N : Alright. I’m nervous about this one because it didn’t quite turn out the way I wanted, but I worked really hard on it & would love to hear what you all think  ❤️ This was requested by @cynic-spirit​ , I hope its alright! I’m not 100% happy with how I approached this request, so I may re write something similar in the future to toy with the concept more. Enjoy!

*Also, I included date outfit pictures at the end, because it’s a fun thing to do, right? It’s cute!*

Spring is near, and the longer evenings are here to prove it. The sun has bid goodbye, leaving a violet hue channeling the sky outside John’s bathroom window. The trees stand in black silhouettes, the smell of apple trees blossoming filters in subtle.

Dog sits at the doorframe, with his paws tucked secure under his resting head, watching John dry his hair with a cotton towel. His chest and torso are peppered with aqua globes, skin still steaming lightly as he’s stepped out the shower. With a towel held around his waist, he grasps Y/N’s favourite cologne of his – a sophisticated blend of spice & wood. He dabs some around his neck, collarbones, and wrists, setting it down for an exchange with a hairbrush.

The sound of his phone vibrating diverts his gaze, to the picture of his love reflecting on his phone screen.

Y/N was facetiming. 

Tonight, John was taking her to a nice dinner date at a restaurant by the water. Sure, they’d technically seen each other every night that week, but they hadn’t been able to go out together in a while.

John loved to treat his lady.

Picking his phone up, he accepts the call, holding the camera to his face.

“Hi baby,” he greets her, eyes lighting up, with those beautiful laugh lines crinkling in the corners of his eyes.

“Ooo hello handsome,” She giggles, eyeing his clothing clad, bare chest. “Quick question, are we going somewhere really nice?”

Her beautiful locks shine under the lights, her makeup looks seamless, light, just enough to compliment her elegantly stunning features. John’s heart must have skipped a beat, he still found it hard to believe that this wonderful, amazing women, was all his.

His for the keeping.

John chuckles a bit, running a hand through his fluffy locks. “It’s not formal, but it’s a nice little place. Why?”

“I’m not sure what to wear.” She flips her camera, showing him the array of dresses she’s laid out, a navy blue, a black, and white. “Help me decide!”

John smiles, letting out a content sigh. He let out a lot of those recently, ever since she’d came into his life, made it brighter than what he’d been used to. 

“You look beautiful in anything, sweetheart.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, whining. 

“John! Can you not be a softie for just one second and help me out?” She sits down on the bed, holding the camera to her face. “Come on, which one do you wanna see me in?”

John lightly scratches his chin, voice deep. “Well, I think you look amazing in white. Makes me go weak in my knees.” He chuckles, giving her a warm smile. 

John didn’t know if it was too early, regardless, he’d dream of the day his Y/N would wear a white dress for him, in front of all their family and friends, as he waited for her at the end of the isle.

Someday. Whenever that someday may be.

“Do you want to stay over tonight? Dog misses you.” John proposes, grabbing his beard trimmer.

Y/N snickers, grabbing the white dress on the hanger. “Sure. I miss Dog too. Besides, I like falling asleep beside you way better than here, on my own.” She holds the phone steady in front of her face again. “You’re like, the fluffiest pillow I have.” She giggles again.

John watches her in awe, as always. The way her eyes glimmer when she speaks, the way her tone shifts, highlighting the happiness in her voice. Each word, from her mouth, felt as if a song to him.

His favourite song.

“Glad to be of service.” He winks, letting out a laugh. “Are you almost ready, babe?” He questions, retrieving his hair dryer from the cabinet drawer.

“Yeah, I just need to throw on outfit, and pack a bag for tonight.” She replies, shuffling around her room.

“Aren’t most of your things here already?” John chuckles. “It looks like you own this counter space, not me.” John flips the camera to showcase all her creams and moisturizers, her scented perfumes and skin care routine gadgets. She’d been spending a whole lot of nights at John’s place, leaving her belongings nicely peppered around his bedroom.

“You’re right. I’ll just sleep in one of your shirts.” She bites her lip, looking him in the eyes. “Or maybe, I won’t need one tonight…” Smirking, the tucks a stray hair behind her ear. “Alright then, I’ll see you soon?” She confirms.

John nods his head, replying. “I’ll be right over in an hour. I love you, sweetheart. Don’t forget it.”

“I won’t. I love you too. Bye.” She blows him a quick kiss, ending the call.

Grinning to himself, John blushes at the though of her still, returning to his closet to throw on his outfit for the evening. As each second passes, he anticipates seeing his love soon, being embellished in her company and grace all evening.

Exactly where he loved to be.

-

With his cellphone propped on the seat beside him, John navigates through the busy New York evening traffic, checking his reflection in the rear view mirror every so often. He runs his fingers through his hair, positioning it just how Y/N liked it.

Before Y/N, John never tried too much to look good. He didn’t care if his hair got lengthier than normal, or if his beard had a few strays in it. But ever since he’d met her, fallen in love with her, he cared. He cared for himself more, tried his best to stay healthy, and presentable.

For her. Because she deserved, to get the best version of him.

She deserved for him to be his best self.

As John drives in silence, his ears pick up the occasional traffic honk, or speeding car beside him. Night has fallen on the city, leaving it to light up brighter than the stars, glowing, glimmering lamp posts and restaurant lights igniting the city streets. He sees couples walk arm in arm, holding hands as they explore the town.

To himself, he smiles.

Smiles, that he had that, finally, for himself. He finally had someone.

To the ring of his cellphone, John snaps out of his thoughts.

An unknown number.

His brows knit in confusion, wondering who it could be. He thinks to ignore it, however, decides against it ultimately, in case it was someone from work.

With his eyes locked on the road, John manages to slide the phone onto speaker, letting wonder lace his tone. “Hello?”

“Hello, sir. Am I speaking with Mr. Jonathan Wick?” A woman speaks on the other end, her voice calm, present, monotone as could be.

“Yes, can I help you?” His deep, ridged voice starts.

“I’m calling on behalf of New York General Hospital. I have you listed as a secondary contact for a recently admitted patient, Ms. Y/N Y/L/N?”

In that moment, John felt his heart drop. His eyes widen, and the world around him seems to stop turning. The traffic seems to pause, the city folk seem to cease walking, the stars seem to melt into the darkness above.

The darkness above, seems to swallow John whole.

With his mind terminating to work straight, his heavy, racing voice speaks. “Y/N? Is she alright?! What happened?! I just spoke with her not too long ago, please tell me she’s okay?!” John almost yells, fear overtaking each nerve in his body.

“Mr. Wick, we need you in urgently for an update on her condition, and form work.”

“I’ll be there, I’m coming, I’m coming!” John shouts, breathing heavier by the second. He feels his body run cold, his mind racing a million a second. “Is she okay? Please, Ms., I need to know.” John begs, foot trudging the accelerator to sprint through traffic.

“She’s going to be alright. Unfortunately sir, I can’t disclose anymore information over the phone, for confidentiality.”

John ends the call in fury, throwing the phone across the seat. “Dammnit!” He hollers, to no one but himself.

In a long time, he hadn’t felt this way. He hadn’t felt a single negative emotion, since she’d came into his life. But now, in this moment, he felt, a mixture of everything he hadn’t felt in a while. But most of all,

He felt fear.

He felt fear, for the thought of anything happening to her. Anger, for not being there fast enough. Fright, for not knowing if she was okay.

Guilt. For not protecting her, as he’d promised himself he would, from the second she gave her heart to him.

-

His body is tense, his fist clenches beside him, his feet only route the path so quick, leaving his mind paces ahead.

He needed his Y/N to be okay. It couldn’t be any other way.

He wouldn’t let it.

As he finds himself at the door of 116, the room the receptionist had claimed to be Y/N’s, John swings the door open.

There Y/N sits, on a chair, with a band aid on her arm, and a juice box propped on the chair beside her.

She looks alright. John makes note, to thank the sky later.

The nurse has just finished her work beside her, greeting John with a warm smile. 

“Hi! You must be John. I’m Y/N’s nurse for this evening.” She extends her arm out, for John to shake. “She is perfect, nothing to worry about. Her iron had dropped very low causing a minor fainting episode, but her neighbour called just in time. I’ve given her a stabilizing injection for now, which should restore all her red blood cells over the course of the next few days. She’s all good to go, and ready to be discharged immediately.” The nurse smiles, walking out of the room, leaving them alone.

John looks to her, worry still shone in his eyes, looking her up and down. His mind seems to stay skeptical, unable to believe that she was actually alright. 

That what he loved, hadn’t been taken away from him this time.

“John, I’m so sorry.” She frowns. “I’m all okay. See?” She proposes.

John stares at her for a few seconds longer, before walking up to her, dropping to his knees. He kneels in front of her, both his hands coming forward to hold both of hers tight in a clasp, pressing kisses all over her palms, her knuckles, her wrists. He lets out a weary exhale, resting his forehead against their connected hands for a few moments.

“John, you seem shaken up. I’m so sorry, I forgot to take my medicine this morning. I swear it’s really nothing big though, I’m alright. I’m sorry, I should have-”

John cuts her off, with a shake of his head. “It’s okay.” He stands, subsequently helping her up, placing a hand on the small of her back as he holds her other hand. “Let’s get you out of here.”

John holds her hand tight, fearing she’d vanish any second. He guides her, holding the door open, keeping her tucked secure with his arm wrapped fitted around her smaller frame.

-

As the forms of release had been taken care of by John, he guides Y/N to his car, hand never leaving hers, with his arm still placed on the small of her back. He holds her close to him, making sure to never let her out of sight. As they arrive to the car door, he holds it open for her, helping her get settled in. Neither of them have spoke a word the entire way down.

As she sets herself in, John leans down to plug her seat belt in across her. “John, it’s alright. I can do it.” She assures, placing a hand on his arm.

Crouching down beside her again, John looks up at her, sadness still littered in his eyes. With a calm tone, John reasons, grabbing hold of her hand again. “Please.” He sighs. “Let me do this for you.”

Shutting the passenger door for her, John walks over to his side, taking place. He places his hands on the steering wheel for a moment, staring at the view ahead. Y/N watches him, worry in her own eyes. John seemed incredibly shaken, uneasy still. She feels horrible, and a heaviness overtakes the feel in her chest.

Reaching over to place a hand over his, she sighs, breaking the silence. 

“John, baby, I’m really sorry. I should have been more careful, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin our night, I know you had an evening planned, reservations and all. But I promise, its nothing. I’m really alright.” She smiles, grasping his hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “Please cheer up?”

John lets out a breath he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding. Slowly, he turns his gaze her way, locking their eyes. “I couldn’t care less about the reservations.” He grieves, eyes unable to connect with hers. “It’s not your fault, sweetheart.”

She grips his hand tighter, offering him a small smile, hoping his eyes would light up to his normal self again, glimmer as they do in the moonlit night. 

But they didn’t. She frowns, bringing her thumb to brush the delicate skin under his eye, cupping his cheek. “It’s hard for me to see you like this, John. Talk to me. Please?” She whispers, pleading.

John sighs again, before turning his body to face her better. “Its just…that call, Y/N.” He exhales, shaking his head. He firms his eyes tight shut, facing down as he continues. 

“It was so hard to hear your name on the other end.” He runs a hand through his hair, looking at the distant city lights again. Y/N rubs her thumb over his hand as she holds it, soothing him, trying her best to calm him.

He stays silent for another moment. As the city out in the distance moves, flows to pace as the night falls, Y/N feels her world standstill. She grips his hand tighter, her soothing strokes brush across his skin, refusing to let him wallow in his thoughts alone. 

She’d always be there for him, she’d promised herself. She’d be there for him, because the world had failed to do so.

“Y/N,” He begins, gloomed, tense. “Anytime I get something good, its always been taken away from me.” He looks down at his lap, collecting his thoughts. His eyes are heavy, and they seem to be glistening.

But not in the way Y/N wanted to see them glisten. They were glistening with tears.

“Today, when I got that call, I felt all those things again, all those feelings of hopelessness, guilt, fear…I felt like something was being snatched away from me again. Only this time, it was as if all of the other things combined together, but so much more.” He shakes his head. “It was you. Y/N.”

Her heart drops. She feels the ache.

“I can face anything. I’ve been built that way, I’ve learned, because these things happen to me. I’ve accepted that maybe I’m not deserving of... good. But I can’t…I can’t bare the thought of you being taken away from me. Not you.”

She feels her heart break, shatter for the man in front of her. The man who thought, that he didn’t deserve good. The man who in her eyes, deserved the entire world, if she could give it to him. She brings her other hand to hold both of his, assuring him, that she’s there.

“I just felt so fucking hopeless. I felt guilty that I wasn’t there with you, that I didn’t protect you like I promised I would.” He frowns again. 

“Y/N…I don’t have anything. All I have is you. I never had a family, I never had friends, everyone sees me as…” his aching tongue halts to finish he sentence. “I’ve never had anything. And after all I’ve done, all the blood on my hands, I don’t deserve anything.” He tries to hold himself together, staring in disgust at his hands that she held tight.

He sees them as an omen. 

“You are all I have, Y/N. Just you, and Dog. And today, when that operator called, I felt like my entire world was being taken away, and I couldn’t do a single thing about it.” His voice cracks. “Like always.” He looks down again, trying to keep himself together.

Y/N watches him, with eyes full of sadness. She felt daggers in her heart with each word he spoke. Trying to channel a smile, she brings her hand to cup his cheek, making him connect his eyes with hers. She leans forward, cupping his face with both her hands, pressing delicate kisses to each inch of his face.

She showers him in love, because that’s what he deserved.

“I love you,” She whispers between kisses. “So much, John. You deserve so much. You deserve more than you think.” She whispers, looking him in the eyes. John brings his arms around her, holding her close as he buries his face in her neck. She rubs up and down his back, running her hands through his hair, making him feel ease.

They hold each other, for what feels like an eternity, eyes closed, sulking in each other.

Pressing a kiss to his shoulder, Y/N breaks the silence, still holding him close. 

“John? Do you feel that?” She waits a moment, before speaking. “I’m right here. In your arms. Exactly where I belong,”

John smiles into her shoulder, wrapping his arms tighter around her now. She was right. She was right here, where she belonged. Her silken voice speaks again, in just above a whisper. 

“And if I’m not, I’m always just a daydream away.” She smiles.

John chuckles, pulling back, to look her into her shining eyes. “Just a daydream away, I like that.” He presses a kiss to her lips, resting his forehead against hers, as they close their eyes briefly. “Gosh. I love you so much. Don’t scare me like that again.”

She giggles, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love you more, John. You deserve everything. And I promise, I’ll say it to you each and every day until you believe me. I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”

~~~

As they reach home, John, to no surprise, falls into full paranoid boyfriend mode. He helps her each step of the way, holding her hand as they climb the stairs to the front door. 

“John, I love you, but you do realize that I’m not hurt in any way? I just have a bandaid from the injection, silly.” She giggles, showing off her patched arm.

“I don’t care, Y/N. You’re not doing anything tonight and you’re going to let me take care of you, okay?” He shimmys the keys in the lock, opening the front door. “I’m not taking no for an answer.” He eyes her.

Y/N smiles, heart content at the man in front of her. She ruffles his hair playfully, pressing a kiss to his bicep, as he takes hold of her hand again, leading her in.

“Jonathan, there’s nothing to take care of. I’m fine.” 

Hanging his coat on the coat hanger, John rushes to Y/N’s side to take her coat off for her. Being the gentleman he is, he bends down to unstrap her heels, gently taking her shoes off her feet, storing them away for her.

“John, I’m okaaaaay.” Y/N tries again, although John lets it in through one ear, and out the other. There was no way he was letting his girl do anything at all, until she’d fully recovered. 

Placing a hand to the small of her back again, guiding her to the sofa, he ponders out loud. “Spinach is high in iron, right?”

“Yeah?” Y/N replies, getting herself comfy.

“Good. I’ll go make you a spinach smoothie then.”

Y/N scrunches her face in disgust, debating. “John, no. That’s gross.”

“Come ere boy!” John calls out to his Dog. As Dog runs to the room, Y/N hears John’s deep voice speak, as he pets his ears. “Keep mommy company, okay?”

Y/N blushes, at the thought of being Dog’s mommy.  

-

As the night falls further, John helps Y/N change into one of his oversized shirts. It comes to the same length as a dress would on her, John finds her absolutely adorable in it. He feels his heart full at the way she wears a piece of him on her.

A symbol that she was truly, undeniable, fully, his. 

After more of John’s antics, trying to help Y/N recover as fast as possible, they lay together in John’s bed, John’s mind partially dozed off to dreamland already.  He’d have an eventful evening for sure, but in the end, it was all going to be okay, with the love of his life rest beside him.

As the midnight sky covers the city horizon, moonlight filters in through the window, with a cool breeze flowing through the curtains, as steady, ocean like waves. The world is falling asleep, with the stars scattered in the black and blue marbled sky, the moon gleams around them, beaming its light, radiating over the busy New York night. 

To the rise and fall of her lover’s chest, Y/N hums in contentment. 

Tight in each others embrace, John and Y/N are tucked away, holding each other after the events of the night. John holds her to his chest, providing her a haven, where no harm could reach, no matter how strong. He places lingering, soft, drowsy kisses to her temples, to her shoulder, to her cheeks, as he pleases, letting her know he’s close, protecting her.

That he’d always be.

The fear, has brought along an overwhelming plethora of love. Nothing but pure, unconditional love. As they lay, secure next to the one who matters most, Y/N’s honeyed voice murmurs into the evening air, thick with sleep,

resting her head further into John’s chest as she pulls him closer,

with a gratified smile on her face.

“The fluffiest pillow I have, indeed.”

➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴

Johns Outfit!

Y/N’s Outfit!

➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴➶ ➴

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[passable-talent]

self indulgent niche hayden christensen character x male reader has returned!!!

this time, featuring Jacob from Outcast (2014). it was a bad movie. I loved it so much.

dedicated, as always, to @haydens-moles​ - i know this wasn’t the one u asked for but i hope its close enough. i did try to showcase what he’s been doing before getting into the x reader stuff. this popped into my head and i had to write it. im sorry about it and ily 🥺

i did not expect this to be THIS long. its not awful but like. long, for what i usually do

tw: war, homophobia (briefly in the beginning), scars, wounds, sword fighting, death of unnamed characters, arrow wound

All this death. 

All this death surrounded you, you welcomed it into your home. Your mother, the honorable queen, had opened the palace grounds to the war-torn soldiers, and you, their noble prince, walked among them. 

You spoke to the soldiers about the war, thanked them for their sacrifice. You walked among them, empathizing with their pain, fetching them water or food or a nurse when they asked. 

Your heart broke for them, every one of them. They clearly believed in the crusade, believed in the mission of their king and their god... their hearts would break in turn if they discovered you believed in neither. 

How could a bloody, violent, evil war be fought for a benevolent god? How could a fair king order his men to their deaths?

You adjusted the crown you wore and walked from the main-hall-turned-medical-bay, hoping to find your father. He had grown weary with you in the recent years, your unwillingness to find a princess and your disapproval of his politics, but maybe he’d listen to you about the safety of your people. Maybe, he’d realize that you took your crown seriously, even if you didn’t intend to wear it the way that he wanted you to. After all, you were his only suitable heir- he was well into his old age, and if he intended to replace you with your brother, he’d have to wait years until the toddler was old enough to rule. You were his only choice.

You neared the entrance into your father’s throne room, but heard his voice echoing without it, and so paused just beyond the doorframe to listen. 

“I will have no soft-hearted, peace-mongering pansy on my throne! That will not be my legacy!” 

You knew your father’s opinions of you. You never, until this moment, realized how deeply they ran. 

This war, this country. Even if one day you could gain control and stop it all, they would still never respect you. Never. You saw it now- and you saw what you needed to do. 

The thought of running away was not a new one. You had, for years, considered it, weighed the likeliness. You knew you’d survive, being trained in hunting, combat, all of it, by Gallain, a noble knight. You had been trained alongside Jacob, who was both your personal knight and your best friend. 

And, something more. 

You often went to him whenever you felt like running away, and he always convinced you to stay, assuring you of your nobility and royalty. But Jacob disappeared years ago, without even a goodbye, so on that day you had no such guidance. 

With your sword, your bow and arrow, and as much gold as you could carry, you disappeared with your horse into the countryside. 

“Something must be done,” said a nobleman, a lord, commanding the center of a tavern.

“I agree,” said another, portly belly pressing against the table in front of him, “But he’s bested my guards. What can be done?” 

“He’s a thieving, murderous boy who takes more than he can carry. Surely he can be bested by just a few more guards.” 

“No, Estevan- he cuts through men like no knight I’ve ever seen. He’s terrifying. My wife is worried for our children, should he return.” 

Jacob wasn’t one to push into conversations to which he wasn’t invited, but this did seem to be his specialty. He was still a nomad, still an outcast, but now his tavern interests were less opium and more noble assistance to those who needed it. 

“Excuse me,” he said, looking up from the booth he’d been seated in, “but who might be causing you lot so much trouble?” The collection of noblemen looked at him, various expressions of disbelief and incredulousness gracing their faces. 

“You don’t know of the Dark Prince?” 

Jacob let his eyes narrow briefly as he considered the nickname against all he’d known as a knight, as well as all he’d learned as an outcast.

“I don’t.” 

The man who had been referred to as ‘Estevan’ let out an obnoxious laugh. 

“Boy, come along, to my estate,” he said, giving his friends little cheeky glances. “I’ve strengthened my guard, as I’m expecting an attempt at a thievery tonight. If you best him, I’ll pay you handsomely.” 

Clearly, these idiotic men had never heard of Jacob, the Outcast. 

Well, Jacob the Outcast had never heard of you. 

In the three years since you’d fled your kingdom, you’d created quite a name for yourself. Your first move had been taking some of the money you swiped from your father and commissioning a crown- one made of black tungsten, with none of the engravings or jewels that had once been your royal right. You wanted smooth, reflective metal, curling around your temples and into short, sharp spikes. 

You wore it whenever you weren’t alone, which was nearly all the time. You wore it when you travelled, even under your large hood; you wore it when you fought. And yes, you wore it when you stole.

Jacob followed Estevan to his estate and watched from afar while the guards he’d hired stood watch. He was hidden, and kept watch over the whole of the estate, wondering if he’d catch a glimpse of this Dark Prince. 

He was glad he’d chosen to hide, as the skies opened up upon the earth, and he kept semi-dry underneath the leaves of the tree he’d perched within. The guards, walking the length of an exterior wall, had no such refuge from the storm.

He did not notice the black-cloaked figure until it was illuminated by the torchlight. You had no sword drawn to catch the light until you were upon the guards, and the two of them fell to you without so much as a sound. 

Jacob, curious, kept his eyes on you as you broke through the wall, having made a hole between the guards’ patrols. He knew that he could easily take you down with a single arrow, but he wanted to see how this would end. 

Would you cut through guards, as one of the noblemen had suggested? Why were you attempting this theft when you had to have known you were expected here? Would you succeed? 

You entered the home silently, taking stock of your location. You’d received a bit of insider information from one of Estevan’s servants as to the location of his gold, and made a direct route to it. 

Gold, as you well know, is one of the heaviest substances on earth. But you were much stronger than you’d been as a prince only trained out of tradition, and not for any true purpose. You were strong enough to carry enough gold to buy a kingdom, and still fight your way out of here. 

Today, you would be modest. You only needed to feed a village, a few pounds was plenty. Why take what you didn’t need?

The guards were none the wiser until you made your escape, attempting to break once again through their wall to flee into the surrounding forest. You brought the whole lot of them down upon you, and Jacob relaxed against the tree, assured that you would certainly be brought to justice by the ten guards that you now face. 

Yet, you weren’t. You weren’t even harmed. Large hood still hiding your crown and your face, you bled through them, some receiving a strike to the legs to put them on the ground, others struck over the head with the hilt of your sword. You had gone through the whole of them without much of an issue, and walked at not much of a worried pace toward the forest. 

Well, if there was a time for Jacob to intervene, now was it. Nothing else stood in your way. 

He pulled an arrow and notched it to the drawstring, lifting it to his face. Even in the rain, at this distance, he would make the shot. 

No more than three seconds later, you took an arrow to the shoulder. 

There was pain, yes. It shocked you into stumbling forward, the sudden motion throwing your hood back and exposing your face. But you’d had your fair share of pain, and more pressing was the confusion- Estevan Perrero hired no archers. There shouldn’t have been any on his property, let alone one who could hit you at this range.

Against your better judgement, you turned, glancing back at the estate you had just removed a few pounds of gold from, and scanned its walls. There were no archers in sight, so you righted your hood and hurried on, disappearing into the forest, showing little care for the arrow you now carried in your shoulder. You knew better than to attempt to remove it. 

Jacob threw himself from the tree and gave chase. He couldn’t let you get far- it would be hard to track you in this rain, and he needed to find you.

He had to find this Dark Prince- because it couldn’t possibly be the young prince he’d once loved and protected, all that time ago. It had to have been a trick of the light, or the rain, it couldn’t- this hardened, scarred, skilled thief couldn’t possibly be the compassionate prince whose nightmares he’d once soothed. 

He followed you through the forests, to a trade road that lead to a nearby village. You traveled in the rain all through the night until you reached a village, just before dawn, and he followed, far enough behind that you didn’t notice him. 

Then, you carefully removed your bag from your shoulder, avoiding the arrow. You distributed the gold among the people, and though they thanked you tremendously, you waved away their offers of repayment upon the condition that you were given somewhere to sleep, and heal. 

You were allowed a room in a tavern, the biggest one available. Only once the door had closed did you allow yourself to rest, letting your shoulders fall, your eyes close. 

You were so tired. 

With one hand, you removed your black crown, regarding it with sorrow-filled eyes. Then, you reached over your shoulder and let your fingers frame the arrow; it was wedged deep into your flesh, and all of the surrounding fabric was soaked through with blood. It needed to be removed, but you couldn’t get a good angle on it, not one comfortable enough to yank it out cleanly. And a clean yank was instrumental- if the arrowhead was left behind, you’d all but lose the arm. 

You felt a little bit of panic grip your stomach, as you didn’t know how you’d remove it, and once one emotion broke through to your mind, many followed. You felt your throat close up, fighting against the past you’d left behind, the people you’ve abandoned, all of the killing and the stealing. 

“Need help with that?” said a voice behind you, and you quickly sucked up your emotions to whirl around. Had you really forgotten to lock the door?

Any number of quips and comebacks came to mind, but as quickly as they appeared, they faded- you didn’t realize the man who’d regarded you was Jacob. 

A thousand feelings flittered through you at the sight of him. He was just as beautiful as you remembered, and he looked at you just as kindly. But you couldn’t push aside how he’d abandoned you without as much as a goodbye. And now- what was he doing here?

Still, you could trust his hands. So you nodded, wordlessly, and turned, gripping onto the table in front of you to make sure your muscles would stay in place as he pulled. 

He approached you carefully, as though advancing toward a wild animal, you could hear it in his gait on the squeaky floorboards. He took one hand to the center of your back, then sliding it to the side to frame the arrow with two fingers on either side. He made a small noise as he touched you- you wondered if he was worried for the wound, or surprised by the muscle that had never been there when he’d known you. 

“Don’t tense,” he said, and you gave a little scoff. Obviously, you thought to yourself, but that was certainly easier said than done. Without warning he pulled, tearing the arrow from your flesh. You let out a roar, your body falling forward, your uninjured arm barely keeping you from falling flat onto the table. Heaving, agonized breaths took control of your body until the pain ebbed, and you swallowed hard.

“Sorry,” Jacob said, glad he had used a light arrowhead that hadn’t gone deep, and was fairly easy to remove, “I wouldn’t have shot if I knew it was you.” You turned to him, surprised, narrowing your eyes. 

“It was you?” You repeated, then turned your eyes to the floor, weighing what that revelation meant. “So then- you followed me? What, have you been hired to arrest me? These people need that gold, you can’t take it back from them!” Jacob shook his head with the slightest of a smile, holding up a hand. 

“No, nothing like that,” he said, “I was supposed to stop a theft, but when I saw you-” His gaze raked down your body and back up again. “I never expected to see you so far from home. And so different.” Maybe it was meant to be sweet, but it still stung your heart that he had left you, when he disappeared to wherever he’d gone, some five years ago. Any fondness you felt for him was soured by that. 

“I wasn’t too much different, until you shot me,” you said dryly, ”Make it up to me, Jacob, help me dress the wound. That’ll be your first step.” You turned from him and began shedding layers, blood soaked as they were, and laying them over the single chair in the room. 

“My first step toward what?” He asked, and you paused, your last layer halfway up your torso, looking away from him. 

“Toward letting me forgive you.” With your grim tone, he dropped his queries, waiting for you to completely bare your torso. He searched into his own bag to find a roll of bandage. 

You waited, looking over your shoulder at him as he dug through his belongings, and then turned his attention to you. You looked away when he grew closer, closing your eyes against his touch. His hands were exactly as you remembered them- calloused, rough, warm. For a moment before he began giving attention to your renewed wound, he let his fingers trace over the scars that littered you.

“I used to know your body better than any map,” he breathed, running the pad of his finger down the long scar you’d received when your path crossed with an overzealous Mongol, “but it seems like you’ve carved yourself an entirely new terrain.” You swallowed hard as he began wrapping the bandage around your shoulder and torso, gathering your wits to make a response. 

“Well, such a thing does happen, when you disappear for five years.” You let him guide your limbs as he dressed the wound, your gaze low, breathing as evenly as you could force yourself to. 

“Where have you been?” you asked him, and if you hadn’t known him since childhood, you wouldn’t have picked up on it- but with his little exhale, you heard him smile.

“I spent a few years in the far east, in an opium-stupor,” he said, his fingers just as gentle as they’d ever been, at least when he handled you. “But after Gallain died, I’ve been travelling the world, offering my services anywhere I thought I could do some good. That was why I thought I’d be stopping a theft today.” There was so much to take in, but you couldn’t help but think of your old mentor. 

“I’d heard Gallain passed. I’m sorry.” Jacob stiffened, just for a moment, and regardless of the brevity, you felt him do it. No matter how you tried to convince yourself you were holding him away from you, your heart still ached at the thought of the grief he must have felt. 

“What’s happened to you, all this time?” He asked, pulling the attention away from himself as he tucked the length of the bandage under itself, your wound completely covered.

You had known the question was coming- it was inevitable. And still, you had to think about your answer. You didn’t want to admit the awful things you’d done, not to him.

“My father was never going to let me be king,” you said with a bit of a pitiful smile, pulling your tunic over yourself again, “You knew that, didn’t you?” Jacob let out a heavy breath, shaking his head. 

“I knew he didn’t approve of your politics,” he said, and bit his lip before he added “of us.” You shut your eyes briefly, knowing it was better than seeing whatever expression he had at those two words. Did he miss you? Did he regret being with you? Did he regret leaving you?

“But I never thought he’d cast you out.”

“He didn’t,” you corrected him, lifting your chin before opening your eyes. “I didn’t give him the chance. I left.” Jacob narrowed his eyes briefly, considering what you were saying, and you took the break in the conversation to take a seat on the bed. 

“How long ago?”

You caught his eye, and now that he stood above you, you felt almost ashamed of your actions, of the consequences they must’ve had on the people you cared about. Your poor little brother.

“Three years.”

Jacob shook his head, but didn’t say anything. Neither of you looked at the other, and neither said a thing. You looked out the window, seeing the sky grow lighter with the early morning. 

“Jacob, I need-” you swallowed harshly, “I have to sleep.” He only let out a laugh, a smile sprouting on his face again.

“Me too,” he said, and after a moment of deep thinking, turned toward the door of the room. 

“Jacob,” you said, making him pause, and turn back to you. Now that you had his attention, you couldn’t back down- but you took an instant longer to gather your courage. “You can stay,” you said, and it took you right back to when you’d said those very same words to him for the first time, when he was your knight, before he was a crusader, and you just a young teenaged prince. 

If you could assume from the fondness, affection, and longing that warmed his face, he was remembering the same thing. 

-🦌 Roe

[jtrbluv]

shutterbug | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 4.1k

warnings: swearing, unbearable but relatable tiger parents

request: Jungkook,, one shot,, 38 + 40 please 😊😊 @asiivnc 

“you leave whenever you feel like it.” & “don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”

A/N: sheesh, i have not posted in a hot minute! i’ve been trying to work on this single request throughout quarantine and it really only came down to these last few days where i literally had a spike of inspo and drive and well,, ideas LOL. i considered an alternate angstier ending but i am a self-indulgent mofo who doesn’t like to make myself cry even though i’m sure i cried while writing this at least once (maybe twice). there is so much jk content on my blog i wanna set aside more time to write for other members from now on until i’m satisfied! regardless, thank you @asiivnc for requesting this and sorry for the wait luv, hopefully this can make up for it !!

Jungkook was known to be heavily passionate and fully invested in whatever his life had revolved around at that moment. As a film/photography major, as well as a man that just had a strange knack for being naturally adept at whatever was thrown at him, he incessantly poured his utmost efforts into his works. You weren’t any different, as you held just as much significance in his life as the way his serotonin levels would skyrocket as soon as his fingertips touched his precious camera.

Not to be self-absorbed, but you always thought of yourself as his muse. Or befittingly for his sake, the subject of the photo that you would give the title ‘his lover’.

You were so indisputably sure that you loved the boy and even moreso that he felt the same. While being so accustomed to his own nurturing ways and devotion to you and the reciprocated energy on your part, the bone-crushing weight of college hindered all and didn’t give a single fuck about anyone or anything.

Carrying the begrudging burden of having to succeed because he didn’t take the traditional lawyer/doctor career route, was always at the forefront of his mind. Likewise, for fuck’s sake, he nearly got disowned by his own parents and it took him what seemed to be a lifetime’s worth of energy to convince him to just give him a chance. Jungkook was not planning on taking that chance for granted.

Jungkook, being the person he is, was excelling, and his name was beginning to become known in the community of photographers and videographers, and he was finally starting to feel at ease. His parents were even acknowledging his successes to the extent that they were helping him financially with school, which was a huge burden off of his shoulders. And then you suddenly crash-landed into his life and just made his life even more fulfilling and by all means, worth living in.  

He knew it was a bad idea. Distancing himself from you was the last thing he wanted to do. All his parents were concerned about was the fact that you were the only thing hindering him from making it “big”, when turns out, you became the sole inspiration and muse for most of his recent works. So they gave him an ultimatum to either be cut off financially or break up with you. He didn’t understand, because his parents liked you so much and they loved the influence you had on his work. He didn’t understand. He hated it—the fact that he was basically hanging by puppet strings and didn’t have a say in what he did considering the age he was in now.

He also hated the fact that he knew they had good intentions, and were only doing this because they wanted him to be successful. Their idea of true success for his career could only be seen as the financial benefits of being a director or producer rather than being able to just pursue and learn more about the art form that he loves. There was no use of trying to persuade them, so likewise, he did not. But why get her involved into this mess too?

Jungkook tended to stray away from confrontation and hated immediate and unexpected change as much as he acted like it didn’t phase him. He figured the sooner he can gain benefit from his passion, the less dreadful this dilemma would be. Less mess. Less stress. More time to be with you. That was the intended plan.

His next course of action was to score a film internship and potential job at the rather famous, Fox Studios. By doing so, would have to win the statewide film contest— a much larger scale than he had ever involved himself in. The mere thought of him having to showcase his own self-produced work to critically acclaimed film critics made the bile in his system threaten to upchuck onto the lemon-pledge scented floors of his dorm room. Then he remembered and was reminded— by the help of you of course, that he was Jeon Jungkook, and everyone knows that Jeon Jungkook does not like to lose.

-

He presumed that keeping up his grades would give him more credibility to getting the internship as well, so he put more focus onto his schoolwork. The remainder of his time was dedicated to exploring his potential ideas and storyboarding out his options and what would be most effective and most consequently— worthy of winning first place.

During this very strenuous time for the poor man, you would most likely see him trudging down the halls, hair in a complete disarray or simply hidden by the fabric of his hood, his eyelids threatening to close shut almost as if it’s taking all his willpower to keep them open, chugging down another red bull with one hand while he grips the strap of his backpack with practically no energy.

I mean you thought it was kinda cute at first, but his apparent deteriorating state mostly caused you to be more concerned than anything else.

In hopes to not hinder his creative flow but still keep his health at par, you would stop by every so often to give him food and give him reassurance—he never needed it so much until now.

Jungkook never told you about the irrational ultimatum his parents had given him. He came to the conclusion that it’d be unnecessary as long as he was able to carry out his plans. Nonetheless, the pressure of the whole situation was getting to him. The love of his life, passion for working with a camera, his parents’ disapproval, and just the own personal dream to be able to tell everyone that “Fuck you, I told you I could do it, and I did,” enveloped his whole mind these days.

Time had proved to not work in Jungkook’s favor. Two weeks passed in a mere blink of an eye leaving him with only two more weeks to finish his film in time for the film contest. This time around, he decided to choose a topic that resonated more with his own personal life. The film revolves around the struggle to be able to conform to the standards and expectations that society implements onto young people, whether it’d be from mainstream media or direct connections, like family. Typically, he stuck a title onto his projects after fully completing it, but for some reason, this time, it had worked in reverse. The title itself suddenly popped into his mind one day and from there he was able to garner ideas from it. And so the title was ‘Moulded’.

A very risky step on Jungkook’s part was what you initially thought when he first told you the idea. He knew that too, which is why he did it. You knew him long enough to be aware of the influence his parents had on his life and their outdated beliefs. You also knew the potential the boy’s zeal could take him, and because of that, all traces of worry left you shortly afterward.

-

Two days. The film contest was in two days. Jungkook was just about finished at this point, constantly playing back frames and adding final touches, rewatching the same parts over and over again until he became satisfied. He leaned back in his chair and let out a heavy sigh, eyes finally averting from the screen of his desktop to the clock on his bedside table.

“Only 9:15?” he muses, realizing these past four weeks had completely fucked over his sense of time, “At least I’m down, color correcting can be such a bit—”

A small jolt reverberates through his desk, interrupting his verbally spoken train of thought. His eyes beeline back to his phone, the contact picture of his mom flashing on his screen. Why would she be calling me at this time?

His brows knit together as he picks up his phone and swipes his thumb across the screen in uncertainty.

“Um, hi mom?” he greets, with the obvious tone of confusion in his voice.

He can practically hear her scoff over the line, “Jungkook-ah, how’s the film coming along?”

“It’s almost done-”

“Are you still with that girl?” she forcibly asks out of nowhere, leaving him dumbfounded to the point his mouth was hanging open in return.

A few seconds pass by as he processes what’s going on. He tightens his grip on the phone at the mention of you as he confesses through gritted teeth, “Yes mom.”

“We had a deal didn’t we?”

He retorted without waver in his voice, “Mom, I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Then give it back. The tuition money,” she affirms without hesitation, “Jungkook, me and your father have done our part. It’s about time you do yours.”

“I’ve done practically everything you’ve asked. I’m doing just fine,” he monotonously states, trying so hard not to implode on his own mother at this point, “Y/N has nothing to do with this.”

There was a short pause, leaving Jungkook in the same state of dejection per usual when he had to talk to his parents, “We just want you to be successful,” her voice softens, using the same line that somehow magically guilt-trips Jungkook every time the words travel to his ears.

He shakes his head in disbelief over hearing the stupid line that seemed to control every aspect of his life, “You say that every time.”

“And we mean it every time,” she interjects, a sigh audibly present over the line, “this discussion is over.”

She ends the call as Jungkook lets out a raspy and guttural groan, slamming his phone onto his desk in frustration with such strength it’d be surprising if the cheap glass screen protector he’s had on it didn’t suffer any damage.

“Kook,” a voice utters softly from the other side of his door, “is everything okay?”

He flinches at the sound of your voice, considering you were just the subject of the conversation he just had with his mom that left him fuming with rage more than anything.

“Can you please leave Y/N, this isn’t a good time,” he objected, adjusting himself in his seat so he’d face away from the door. Even though you couldn’t see him you could still hear the small indication of irritation in his response.

It was more than apparent something was wrong with him, with only two days left until the film contest, you knew he couldn’t manage to keep his guard down, regardless of the stress and turmoil he’d been putting himself through for the past 4 weeks, “Just because you leave whenever you feel like it…” you enunciate, raising your voice loud enough for him to hear your intentions, “doesn’t mean I will.” Both of you knew the last 4 weeks had taken a toll on the relationship, it was only then that he realized how much he’d been putting it off.

The door began to emit tiny clicking noises as he slowly turned the doorknob. He slowly widens the area as he meekly steps to the side, letting you come in as you make your way toward his bed and plop down onto his sheets.

The tension had never been this thick between the two of you, to the extent where it felt absolutely suffocating and unbearable. You had never seen him in such a state of dejection as he simply sat there, hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt as he nibbled on his lower lip, eyes diverting away from yours at all costs. The knit between his brows that would usually derive from confusion or frustration, seemed entirely different this time around. It was as if his mind was full of nothing but everything all at the same time.

You heave out a deep sigh as you finally break the ice, “Jungkook,” you begin, looking up to see him looking back at you to your surprise, “you know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry for making it seem that way.”

“Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it,” he mutters only to see the flash of hurt in your eyes that makes him divert his gaze back to the floor, “I know I’ve been acting so selfish lately. I’d understand if you felt that way.”

“I hate seeing you like this you know,” you confess quietly, “I know there’s something up.”

His eyes meet yours once again, mouth slightly parted as if he was about to say something, but the silences ensues and he closes the gap once again, resorting back to nibbling the skin off of his bottom lip until it starts to bleed. Your eyes soften as you observe the boy once more. The span of your relationship had naturally led to the two of you being able to open up to one another so easily. You were both able to tell when the other was feeling a certain way and why. It just came with time and getting to know the other person more throughout the relationship. And alongside that was the ability to know when the other was purposely keeping something under wraps—this was one of those times.

“Jungkook”, you whisper just loud enough to catch his attention, which works as he gazes back up at you with all doe-eyed glory, the knit between his brows gone surprisingly out of sight for the first time since you came over. You glance at his bed—emphasizing the void of space next to you on his bed by patting the fabric and peering at the cryptic man, hoping he would get the sign to sit next to you.

Fortunately, he does. He places his hands on the armrests as he timidly pushes himself up from his chair. The chair produces an obnoxiously loud squeaking noise almost emulating the sound of your dog’s dog shaped squeaky toy (counterintuitive I know, but it was a gift from Jungkook himself, the prick). The sound causes you to involuntarily snort as you look away in hopes to hide the smile creeping onto your lips. Too bad you missed the smug grin on his face at your lackluster attempt.

He carefully approaches you as he warily lowers himself onto his bed, making sure he doesn’t make the same mistake twice. He shifts his body to turn towards you, propping his hands at his side. His eyes avoid yours once more, sparing glances at every inch of his own room as if he wasn’t already familiar with the enclosed space.

You pause and calculate your next move, eyes studying the boy’s body language. You outstretch your arm, gently grasping his wrist as you slide your fingers through his calloused palms and twine your fingers with his own, allowing your hands to rest on your knee. His eyes glaze over your connected hands, trailing back to finally meeting your own once again—they had this all too unfamiliar gloss to them, not the usual star-like specks you had been accustomed to looking at. As a few seconds had passed, you spotted the pool of tears starting to brim in the corner of his eyes. Taken aback, you retract your focus to his whole face and how his bottom lip started to tremble, hopeless. Hopelessness was what he was denoting, an emotion you had rarely if never seen coming from the man sitting in front of you.

Before you could formulate any words of comfort, he speaks up, voice brittle and wobbly, “Am I just a failure Y/N?”

“Wha— what? No, how could you ask that? Of course I don’t think you are,” you assert, unknowingly tightening the grip on his hand.

“It’s just,” he drawls out, pausing to think of a coherent way to voice his concerns, “maybe it just would’ve been easier if I complied with my parents in the first place y’know. I’ve been spending all my time and energy fighting it, maybe I’ve just been putting my energy into the wrong-”

“I don’t believe that,” you calmly interject, “I believe that whenever you put your energy into something, you have a reason behind it. You thought about it for a while, it obviously wasn’t something that just sprouted overnight,” you countered, staring off as your eyes land on his workspace, the flashing screen of his computer that reveal his last minute editing as well as the camera you seldom see the man without, “Working with a camera, creating art,” you say while clasping your free hand over the one that you were already holding, rubbing miscellaneous shapes into the back of his hand, “that is what you love to do.”

“I love a lot of things Y/N,” he simply states.

“Hm?” you let out under your breath as you notice the single tear that falls onto his cheek, contradictory to the straightforward tone of his voice you had just heard seconds before. Your body stiffened at the sight of the fallen drop.

“Did you hear me on the phone before you came?” he questions, swiping away the tears that threatened to fall with his free hand.

You take a moment to recollect the moments that preceded until knocking on his door, “No, I just heard a loud bang. It sounded like you broke something.”

“Oh, that was my phone,” he shyly admits while scratching the back of his ear, “there is something I need to tell you.”

You perk up at his sudden willingness to tell you what was wrong. Your body language conveys the signal for him to continue, and he does.

“I got a call from my mom before you came,” he starts, “she was checking up on me, knowing the deadline is coming soon and what not.”

You nod slowly in understanding, “I see, what did she say?”

“You have the right to know,” he mutters under his breath while diverting his gaze back to your interlocked hands. He intentionally grazes your other hand before taking it into his own before flashing you a small grin of reassurance, “The farther I’m advancing, my parents just constantly feel the need to strip me of everything else. You probably knew that already. You also know that I tend to just rebel and find a loophole out of things most of the time. I don’t know, lately, it just seems like they solely care about success and money these days more than my own happiness and wellbeing, and it’s been like that for so long. Anyways, I’ve been prolonging and putting it aside for awhile now, but they threatened to cut me off financially if I didn’t break up with you Y/N.”

A single tear slides down your cheek. You’re at a loss for words and coherent thought. The only thing you muster to say is whatever decidedly popped up into your head first, “W-why haven’t you then?”

The brimming tears began to fall more frequently for you as well as from the eyes of the man in front of you. He releases both of his hands and slides his calloused palms up to your forearms pulling you closer in proximity, “I said it before, I love a lot of things Y/N,” he gingerly reiterates as he swipes away the tears from your eyes with the pad of his thumb before trailing his fingers to your fallen strands of hair, tucking them behind your ear.

“I love my parents, I love working with a camera, but I undoubtedly also am in love with you,” he tenderly professes while sliding down his hand to the crook of your neck, “I know my parents never meant harm, but they have to realize I don’t either. I owe it to myself and I realize that I am capable of obtaining and having everything I want in life,” he wholeheartedly declares despite the tears that continue to run down his face, “ And it wouldn’t be everything I want if you weren’t here with me.”

He renders you speechless, tears streaming freely as he continues to wipe them away. He was much more composed now, wiping away his own remaining tears with the back of his wrist. You, on the other hand, were practically sobbing into his palm, tears spilling all over his forearm.

“There’s a reason why I chose that particular subject for the film, “ he describes, hands sliding down to intertwine with yours once again, “It serves as a testament to my parents, to my peers, to you, but also to myself,” he beams, releasing the hold on your hands as he stands up from his bed, extending a hand out to you.

You unhurriedly grab his hand, as he tugs you to stand up from his bed, leading you to sit in his own seat. He swivels the chair for it to face his computer, stepping aside so you could sit down.

“I wasn’t planning on giving any sneak peeks, but it just seems right to show you this now,” he explains, clicking through the frames until he arrives at his destination and clicks play.

It starts off with the emulation of a glitching tv screen, the audio sounds as if someone was inserting a tape into a DVR. The ‘no signal’ screen fades into the familiar setting of the beach in his hometown. Hues of blue fading into muted shades of oranges and yellows flash across the screen, accompanied by the soft crashing of the waves washing ashore on the fine sand. The camera quickly shifts his focus to what seems to appear as Jungkook being fully enveloped and underneath the sand, his head being the only thing that isn’t submerged. Flashing his signature grin, his arm emerges from the sand as he gives a thumbs-up to the camera, making the person behind it erupt into a fit of giggles. That person was you.

The scene transitions into the city streets of the suburb that was close to the college. You were walking down the sidewalk, enamored by the bustle of the people who lived there as well as the twinkling lights that were draped from building to building. Clips ranging from his family, his friends, him working, and more are compiled and presented as he talks over it. His voice begins to say, “As individuals living in a society where opportunities seem to just be knocking left and right, we all have dreams and desires. Whether they are attainable or not, that’s what makes them all the more worthwhile and exhilarating to find out for ourselves. Society, whether we like it or not, is filled with certain conjectures that they believe can assure us of these dreams and desires, what they’ve made us believe as the path to success. They mould us from the beginning. As kids, we are told to behave well, listen to our elders, go to school, get good grades, and get into a good college. As adults, we deem success as having a stable job that pays the bills, buying a house and settling down, finding the love of your life, having kids, and working tirelessly until we become worn out and old. We have these presumptions about what’s better and what’s not, what is easier and what isn’t. Regardless of how much we get told that we can achieve anything we want to in life, we grow older and life unexpectedly throws more curveballs at you to make you think that it’s not actually the case. Well, as cliche as it may sound, I’m here to tell you that it’s just not true. Do what you want. Do what you love. Be with the ones you love. Cherish these moments. Film them as keepsakes to look back on. So… what’s your story? What are your dreams and desires? What sparks pure joy within you and keeps you on your feet? Break those moulds that have been holding you down. Reach for the moon and the stars. And maybe someday with the right amount of determination, and a little bit of luck, you can get there.”

The video ends right then and there, and you had no doubt in your mind that this was his best work to date albeit only seeing a snippet of it. A smile graces your lips as you turn your head to look at the creator of it all. He looks back at you with the familiar star-like specks in his eyes, making you feel rest assured that within all the chaos, you would both get through it all.

-

-

MASTERLIST

[astrologista]

jason stop dying

ooooook i just watched ditf. it was PRETTY GOOD.... i only wish there was MOOORE! watching this REALLY brought me back to 2011 times to see it and i think they did a good job with most of the character design and animations insofar as matching it to the original. (maybe i’m totally wrong but i thought it looked good for the most part... also i just really love these character designs in particular). obviously the budget is not what it would be on a feature, so there are a LOT of places where animation gets recycled and many still frames. some parts are basically a slideshow lol. but i only sort of came to that realization awhile after watching, so i think they did a fairly good job of masking this... ymmv

so let’s get into it!!! 

SPOILERS a-head! do not read until you’ve watched it because i’ll spoil everything

now obviously the thing to be aware of if you are not is the fact that this adaptation is not a panel-by-panel adaptation of the original death in the family comic. all references to jason’s mother (save one mention of her dying of illness) are completely removed, they go to bosnia instead of africa, and the circumstances around jason leaving are also heavily altered to fit the new narrative. this adaptation does slot perfectly into the universe established by the under the red hood animated movie from 2011 though, without which one would be pretty confused when watching this. it’s kind of a mystery as to why they didn’t just package this with utrh and release the entire thing as a collectors edition. instead they package it with like 4 or 5 unrelated dc showcase shorts which makes absolutely 0 sense but go off i guess. anyway

i liked that they took the time to adapt the scene from the original ditf where bruce is talking to alfred about jason! (i do not like that alfred didn’t get any lines. bad choice). tbh i can’t understand why they bothered showing us alfred, barbara and dick if they weren’t gonna give them any lines..... like come on........??

HOW INTENSE BRUCE LOOKS WHEN HE FINDS JASON IN SARAJEVO and just. grabs him lol. hes smad :)

ok so one two skip a few and we get to the first branch. instead of calling 1-900 we now get to choose whether jason lives or dies. there are 7 possible endings i think i got em all so let’s see what we got here.

“Hush” Route - Robin cheats death

hgrgdggr. i definitely think this is one of the more interesting endings, if not the most interesting one. this is also the only ending in which both bruce and jason survive the bombing. bruce is still too late, but this time jason barely clings to life and survives. as a hurt/comfort fan i was 100% on this shit from the word go but then jason? runs away from home lmao lmao i thought that was SO funny because 1) hes super messed up, how is he able to just literally run out the house that is SO funny to me and 2) implying that bruce would ever not be keeping an eye on him after that is just, lmao. it’s so zany. i call this the “hush” route because of the bandages but there are no other references to hush so ok. that’s fair. so anyway jason is now angsty for loosely explained reasons but the most fun part is yet to come.

when talia showed up, i really thought / was terrified for a second that they were gonna bring up certain “events” regarding damian’s parentage / who damian’s father is but then she mentioned bruce and i was like OH THANK GOD WE CAN STILL GO TO HEAVEN. i am so so grateful to the writers for NOT going there. cuz it was damn close ok. im not sure what the implication of this route is in terms of talia, jason and damian being a family unit but i want to believe talia sees jason as a son and damian’s brother (which is how she refers to him, damian’s brother) and not... yknow. i mean. jason raising a baby is kind of like a baby raising a baby...

no actually the reality of this scene is really dfuckin interesting like. they actually go with the “birth of the demon” (forget if it was birth of the demon or bride of the demon. one of those.) explanation for damian and that is something i’ve NEVER seen adapted so whoever wrote this can have a cookie and i kNOW this is something a certain someone will appreciate :)

not only that but the implications? are interesting? so talia’s claim is she miscarried so bruce won’t have to “choose” between damian and jason and idk if she’s supposed to be all on the-up-and-up in this universe but. i’m sitting here like GIRL YOU DON’T GOTTA DO THIS HE HAS A PRIVATE JET HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF SHARED CUSTODY and BETTER YET HE HAS A MANSION JUST GO ON MAURY AND GET THIS SORTED OUT RIGHT NOWwwww

i’m also LAUGHING at the implications of jason thinking theres anywhere on earth that he’s going to go and hide damian’s existence from bruce. because you already know he’s just going to be tearing the planet apart looking for jason so this is actually hilarious. imagine he finds jason in one piece and also a baby. his baby. he’d be like (@ talia) “OMG WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULDN’T WANT THEM BOTH u are tearing me apart talia......” BUT THEN HE WOULD BE SO FREAKING HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS TWO ALIVE SONS AND HE THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH DEAD / (lost to crime)!!!

please lord imagine all of jason’s angst probably just originating from the fact that he has a brain injury that hasn’t fully healed and the trauma of going through all those surgeries probably gave him a lot of fear / paranoia about bruce and associating him with the joker because his neural pathways are all messed up but after he leaves he starts slowly healing back and regaining some of his lost sanity and thats when he realizes he misses bruce so much... but hes also raising his child... and every day it gets more difficult for him not to just take damian and bring him home and i ;v;

anyway i thought this route, while it had a few inconsistencies in it, was really freaking interesting and it gave me feels and plot bunnies and is probably the one i want to write about the MOST despite the fact that baby damian looks like a character from one of those web flash games in this lol

“True” End - Jason Dies

now if you select that jason dies the route basically defaults to the canon of under the red hood and the fact that utrh does not come packaged with this movie is a rather mystifying choice to me as i don’t think this adaptation would stand on its own very well. like you need quite a bit of background to really get anything out of watching this on its own, which is probably why it’s classified as a “short” and not as its own movie.

instead of showing all of utrh, it seems they took the opportunity to give a ~30 minute recap of utrh with basically entirely reused animation but they allow bruce to sort of. give his dvd commentary over it.

the biggest feeling i have on this is that it’s sad that they had to waste 30 minutes like this that could’ve been used to do something new and much more interesting, but honestly i’m not mad. it seems kind of obvious that this choice was probably made for budget and/or runtime reasons because a short does not get the same budget set aside as a full length feature film does. so they basically took the option of recycling 30 minutes of animation from the movie and dubbing new audio over it.

in evangelion they ran out of budget and that’s why the last two episodes consist of nothing more than still pencil drawings and frames while the characters engage in philosophical debates concerning the nature of reality and human connection. and i really enjoyed that. and for the same reasons, i also really enjoyed this.

i enjoyed seeing the clark kent of this universe. i enjoyed that he was basically out on a date with bruce. i enjoyed that bruce was willing to open up for once and tell clark all of what happened with jason. but what really makes this segment shine bright are bruce greenwood’s line reads. there are SO MANY good line reads in here. and i LOVED how many times he said the word “son”. very wholesome. the way he describes how he felt during the final fight with jason? probs my favorite FUCKING part.

and then him and clark joking together about contingency plans and then they’re going to work together to find jason and i ;_; this is probably the closest thing to a “good” ending but as a continuation of utrh i thought it worked really well. i really want to believe that bruce and clark did find jason in this route and that there was some closure in the end even though we didn’t get to see it.

including clark in this was DEFINITELY the right move as well, considering that he played a rather large role in the original ditf so it’s a welcome nod.

The rest of the branches exist under a separate option where Bruce makes it in time to save Jason from the warehouse... but Bruce dies......... :O

let me tell you bout it... bruce’s fucking DEATH SCENE i don’t know WHAT my man bruce greenwood is on, but the freaking LINE READS in this dialogue had me making INHUMAN NOISES. LIKE NOT ONLY WAS THE DIALOGUE GOOD, NOT ONLY DID HE SAY “I LOVE YOU, SON”, but this man is just an amazing actor. not just voice actor, but actor. he really really really really gave it the most i don’t know how else to say it....... it was very very well done and punched me sideways in the heart and i haven’t recovered and i’m not going to recover. and

ok so once we get past that.... scene.... u have to choose whether you’re going to catch the joker or kill the joker. bruce asks jason to promise not to kill the joker but technically jason doesn’t promise so........

Let’s start by choosing to kill the Joker. Jason attends Bruce’s funeral and various members of the Justice League show up to talk with him and just generally hang out. He has Alfred, Dick and Barbara as his support system, but Jason has some other plans.

This leads to a scene in a cafe where Jason meets with a man who... something something Killing Joke, flashlight, more Barbara being used as a plot device when she deserves better, Jason kills the Joker with a butter knife.

Once you do this you can choose to surrender to the police, or retaliate and escape.

Jailbird Ending

basically if you surrender to the police jason ends up in prison where he can actually attack even more criminals so.... ya

If you retaliate and escape instead you go to the Red Robin route where Jason becomes a vigilante who kills people much like the Red Hood and you get a further choice in a fight with Two Face where you can control how Harvey’s coin lands. 

Tim Ending!

If you choose the coin to land clean face up, the thing rewards you by having Tim show up and I forgot what happened (wasn’t really paying attention lol) because i was so focused on TIM!

Prolly they felt sorry for him what with Jason stealing what is essentially his outfit (ok I know it was Jason’s first, but Tim made it cool) so they let a little baby tim have an appearance :) he’s very smol

I guess in this ending Jason gets reintegrated with the family somehow and Tim becomes “Bat-kid” which is hilarious to me but you know what it’s cute. CUTE.

The one ending where the coin lands scarred side up

i honestly forget what happens if you choose to have the coin land scarred side up but let me just say this is a FUCKED route to take, not only have you had jason survive and bruce die, you’ve now chosen to kill the joker against bruce’s dying wish, you’ve chosen to attack the police, and at the end of that you really are gonna choose harvey’s coin to be scarred face up???? choosing this made me feel like a DICK because here i am supporting jason’s whole fall to madness and villainy thing the way it wants me to and now he’s gonna die HERE? i hate it here.

interestingly enough he doesn’t actually die in this route. he ends up at home with barbara and dick while dealing with the fact that he killed the joker but the route ends with jason saying “i promise” so i guess this is supposed to be kinda sad. im so confused lol ok

So that is all the options if you choose to kill the joker, I believe. You can also make the choice to just catch him instead of killing him but amazingly enough, those routes are even more FUCKED up. 

If you do this option Jason goes home, mourns Bruce with Dick, Barbara and Alfred, and becomes Red Hood BUT with a twist, he’s entirely on a bloodless operation in line with Bruce’s wishes. OR.... IS HE?

Things then follow the events of UTRH until the scene on the bridge with the van and the guys. Jason finally confronts Joker, who reveals the truth. 

Apparently in this route Jason has actually been killing and decapitating his victims just like in the original movie, but he’s repressed it so as to not even realize to himself that he’s doing it.

that is FUCKED. also. i wanna cry because jason doing all of that stuff but not even realizing it ;------; jason blocking it out, because he wanted to honor bruce’s wishes for him not to kill anyone ;______; but he’s doing it anyway ;_____; he’s actually hearing voices telling him to kill ;____; like it’s a very cheap twist in a sense and also really quite cruel but.... damn, son.

There is a branch here where you can choose to spare or kill the Joker at this point (UNDERTALE???) but from what I can tell it seems to be totally meaningless what choice you pick because you end up at the exact same point either way, I think there’s a small variation in what happens after you make the choice but after that they just coalesce back together into the following two endings. Which seems incredibly cheap to me, I mean making a choice like that should alter Jason’s path completely but, it doesn’t! So... ooook....

Either way Jason ends up on the Wayne building and Talia shows up with a re-animated Bruce from the pit. Here’s another fun blast from the 2011 past with more gratuitous Grant Morrison dreck, remember that shit? Well, they’re gonna jam it down your throat here, too.

The reanimated Bruce is the Zur En Arrh Bruce and he’s already dead so this is all meaningless but basically Jason fights him and you get to choose whether everybody lives or dies.

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Lives!

if you pick this, jason actually gets the re-animated bruce back to the batcave and they lock him up down there because he’s still pit-mad and the prognosis is not great. but i’m not sure what they expected, he is the zur-en-arrh guy so I don’t think he’s getting better. 

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Dies!

pretty much there’s an explosion and all three of them die and that’s it

I think that should be all the possible endings there are.

By the way the different ways in which black mask dies in this was actually a fairly clever running gag lollll. let that mf burn we don’t need no water.

overall there are a couple of things i would have done to SIGNIFICANTLY improve this adaptation beyond some of the obvious ones.

- the fact that all of the branching options are branched exclusively under the “jason lives and bruce dies” branch is a huge wasted opportunity. imo this is the most egregious problem with this, i was really looking for a more balanced tree / explanation of different things. i am probably super biased though being a fic writer and used to fic, we’re the ones making huge ass trees every day lol.

- the fact that there is no “good” ending here is something i kind of expected but given the context of this is lackluster. i sort of get it though because granted, the original ditf ends in an unresolved manner but it’s distinctly unsatisfying here. i secretly wanted an ending where bruce, like, figures out about the different endings and hacks reality to try to find a good ending where jason lives and everything is fine lmao. like a bat mite ending.

- i was disappointed in a sense that the narrative given in here is so basically simplistic? maybe i’ve been spoiled by games like 999 and undertale where shit gets messy and that’s not what this is supposed to be but when i play something with multiple endings in this day and age, at least play with the concept a little bit and connect some of the branches together narratively. use different devices. i was also hoping some of the choices would be a little bit meatier like you could choose to “forgive bruce” or something cool like that lol. but it looks like the majority of choices have to do with who lives or dies. and i felt like they couldve been a bit more creative with that ya know? being able to control harvey’s coin was a GREAT example of having some more fun with this.

- it is a huge missed opportunity not to have a “secret ending” on something like this. like where. the fuck. is my secret ending for completing everything. come on. and in a similar vein there should’ve been at least something in terms of bruce and jason interacting in a “true ending”. even if very brief. the closest thing to an ending this has is the “jason died” route and then the ending where he’s talking to clark which i feel like was a REALLY nice good optimistic ending as far as this goes, but it comes off as kind of disappointing i guess

there were SO many interesting nuggets locked into this thing though. i can’t deny it bugs me how many wasted opportunities there were with how they chose to structure things but i guess it’s the best you can do with limited runtime. i thought it was really well done though, makes an interesting companion piece to the original utrh, and is definitely something that i will be re-watching again soon!! overall i give it a 7/10 and some parts an 8/10+!

[aqvarius]

[REVIEW] Her Love in the Force: Shusuke Soma - Who I Once Was

Guys, I’m supposed to be dieting during this quarantine period but Voltage is keeping me FED with all this new amazing Soma content. 

HLITF fans, we have been blessed with amazing Soma content recently. Soma’s S3 Love’s Battlefield route was probably one of, if not the, most memorable HLITF routes I’ve ever played. I also adored his PoV despite it not covering all the moments that I personally wanted to read. (I understand disappointment over it, but I found that the bonus scenes they gave us made up for it, and it allows me to play with my own imagination a bit and potentially write up some fic for the scenes not in his PoV hehe.)

Like the manic Soma fan that I am, I had to IMMEDIATELY buy and read this route. I love him so much I am willing to do anything just to understand him even a little bit better. To my delight, I’m not even a little bit disappointed. And the route even made me spend 300 more coins to buy Goto’s Episode 0 so well done Voltage lol. 

I will summarise my thoughts on this story and then get into some more detail in the cut below. With that said, if you know Soma’s back story already, there isn’t much information to spoil. But I’ll leave some of the more surprising details under the cut.

This story shows us an unfamiliar Soma. This is a Soma that is far colder than even when we first meet him as a Special Instructor at the Academy. He battles with his conflict over his future and what he feels like his life’s purpose is, which is all sparked over his sister Kurume’s comment that she sees him as a hero. Throughout the route, he struggles with aimlessness and his futile attempts to investigate the metro gas attack even while doing his work in the Criminal Affairs/Investigations department, where he becomes the mentor for new recruits Ichiyanagi and Goto. That’s RIGHT, we finally get the Soma/Goto/Ichiyanagi Criminal Affairs dynamics that I have been waiting for years for ever since finding out that they all worked there together! (The only thing missing is Hayase but I guess he’s from a different timeline lol). 

This is something that makes the route super enjoyable to read because we get to see a Soma who isn’t as gentle and reticent as the one we know. He’s a bit colder, a bit harsher, and has less tolerance for antics. We also see Soma as a mentor before he became an instructor and it’s so cool to realise that Goto and Subaru are so capable partially because of the harsh but fair mentoring of Soma and the way that he’s not only drilled the fundamentals of police work into them but also supported them emotionally through the trials of losing a loved one. This route really helps you understand why Goto has so much trust and respect for Soma (and I’d like to see more Soma/Subaru interactions!) 

We also get to see Kurume for what I believe is the first time, which is incredible to be able to put a face to the name. I am such a sucker for big brother Shusuke and seeing more of his life with Kurume really adds depth to our understanding of his character and why/how losing him has made him lose perspective of his own life and identity. 

(I don’t know if I can explain in words how devastated seeing the two of them together made me feel...)

The route also gave some more insight into the Goto/Kazuki situation which was used really well to offset Soma’s own situation regarding vengeance and unresolved grief. We also get to see more of the relationship between Soma and Goto and how much Goto respects him as a senpai even though Goto transferred to Public Safety first (on the recommendation of a certain elite ;)). There are also some great Ishigami/Soma moments which I’ll elaborate on under the cut, as well as some things I discovered while cross referencing between this story and Goto’s Who I Once Was. 

I love that there’s a theme running throughout the story, which is about defining a hero. This is a crucial question which underpins Soma’s incessant yet pointless attempts to figure out his identity and purpose in life. I love that we begin to see him figuring out what being a hero means to him and that Goto’s own grief and slow road to recovery, and the way that he’s affected Goto’s life, is what sets him on this path towards figuring out where to go from here on out. This path is then what leads him to his MC, who we can see is someone who grabs him by the hand and pulls him ever forward. 

To put it briefly, this is a route you’ll enjoy if you love Team Ishigami. You get to see both Soma and Goto pre-trauma (you get to see a younger Goto than in his own episode 0), but then you see both of them forced to confront grief head-on, and then you can see how they both help each other to move forward in their own subtle ways. This story also showcases the best of Ishigami, a man who is collected and analytical but is always thinking of how he can help those around him who are hurt. Like how Ishigami and Kaga are saved by Namba, I would say that Soma saves Goto, then Goto returns the favour, and then Ishigami saves them both. 

Keep reading under the cut to see my further thoughts on Soma: Who I Once Was. I provide extra details about the story and provide some analysis on his relationships with his colleagues and his MC with lots of screenshots for evidence!

Okay so first off: Soma’s parents are ALIVE??? Why have we never met them?! You would think that they would come to Kurume’s grave on Soma’s birthday to see their children at least. For some reason I genuinely thought it was just him and Kurume but no it turns out that he’s had parents this whole time?! Either way, it’s so wonderful getting to see Soma’s home life from back when he was a teenager.

In the past, I’ve made joking comments about Soma being confused over familial and romantic love and wondering if he just cares for his MC like he cares for Kurume because how can you have sex with someone and then still wonder if you just care for them like a SISTER. But this story definitely helped me understand his mindset a bit better and why he sees similarities between his MC and his sister.

So I think we’ve discovered quite early on that Soma’s sister died on his 19th birthday. We also see scenes of them when Kurume is in high school and already having to fill out forms about her future. So she would be 15 at the very least while Shu would have been probably in his first year of uni? I think he’s mentioned that Kurume and his MC would be around the same age but I was really reminded of that in this route.

Honestly it devastated me to read that conversation because her future was just stripped away from her like that. And to see her get all excited about all the possibilities her future held just wrecked me emotionally. She was considering being a florist or a baker or a pharmacist. She would have been around the same age as the MC :’( To see Shu suggest that Kurume could consider studying agriculture made my heart ache because it made me think of how much care Soma puts into maintaining his plants and how much it means to him that his MC takes care of them for him when he can’t, especially because that’s what Kurume did. I also now believe that Soma is so invested in doing whatever it takes to guide his MC towards the best possible future for her because it’s his way of almost atoning for Kurume never being able to live out her dreams and future.

So rather than mistaking familial and romantic/sexual love, I think it’s rather that Soma sees his MC as symbolic of how his sister might have grown up. Rather than thinking of his MC as his sister, he wonders if he’s just fond of her because she’s similar to how she might have been, sort of like how you might make friends more easily with people that remind you of other friends or siblings/people close to you. That’s why he gets so confused when he feels more beyond just affection and can’t control his emotions, because he’s never felt love beyond just worrying and wanting the best for someone until his MC.

On a side note, Soma did a 4 year degree at a university before joining the police academy? What did he study?!?! I want to know!!!!!

I also love that we got to see Soma not really wanting to be a mentor. We get to see him at his most candid, and at a time in his life where he’s still figuring himself out and doesn’t have any goals except for getting to the bottom of the Crimson Wings case. So when he has to take two rambunctious young men under his wing, it’s so amusing to see how much they annoy him at first with their bickering. In the main stories, we only really get to see a bit of this when he deals with Kurosawa but when he does that, it’s kind of jokey and snarky but man Subaru and Goto really pissed him off at times LOL. Like I mentioned, we’ve only seen him as a seasoned instructor who goes out of his way to help you develop, but he is so reluctant to look after these kids at first. He calls them goons, the gruesome twosome, annoying, a pain in the ass… It’s so funny seeing this side of Soma.

I did think it was so cute that Subaru immediately jumped to calling him Shu and Goto was so polite and called him Soma-san but then somewhere down the line ended up calling him Shu as well (which is what he still calls him to this day. I would literally DIE to see some present-day Subaru/Soma interactions – will someone who’s played Goto’s Adversaries let me know if the two of them interact? Subaru is so alpha male especially now, I’d love to see him defer to Soma in the present day.) It was also so cute that they tried to throw him a birthday party (but also very tragic because his birthday is also the anniversary of Kurume’s death and none of them knew that).

I also loved seeing Soma’s response to Kazuki’s death and the way that Goto’s loss and Soma’s loss kind of play off each other. He knows how it feels to lose a loved one, he’s been dealing with the repercussions of it for at least around 5 years at this point with frankly very little progression. If Goto was not able to move forward because he was stuck in time, Soma is not able to move forward because he is lost. Goto’s grieving puts in in a static place where he can’t move, but Soma’s grieving has him constantly moving, but without direction. He’s haunted by Kurume’s words and even says as much: “I had no idea where I was supposed to go… I just let myself float along”. 

This is why Soma scolds him both in his own story and in Goto’s story, and it is Soma’s experience that allows him to guide Goto towards his growth. It’s also (at least partially) because of Soma that Goto ends up in Public Safety.

Ishigami approaches Soma for an evaluation of Goto, stating that “students raised by an elite teacher are elite themselves”. Soma’s evaluation sets the stage for Goto to eventually be able to confront his grief and develop as an undercover specialist through Ishigami’s guidance; Goto even calls him his “benefactor”. In Goto’s story, he says “It has to be him. The one who found me on the neon-lit street” and Goto then mentions a line about being blinded by revenge that I’m pretty certain is something that Soma said during their nighttime (and thus presumably neon-lit) back alley chat. So I’m not 100% certain who Goto has in mind but 95% he’s thinking about Soma, especially since he later thanks him for the transfer. 

 We know that Soma essentially helps Goto without trying because he’s confused when Goto calls him his benefactor. In evaluating Goto to Ishigami and cornering him in that dark alley, without even knowing it, Soma effectively helps to push Goto into facing his future – the two facets that Goto says makes someone a hero. 

We also discover that Soma is recruited to Public Safety through a recommendation by Goto, who is presumably “the elite who nominated” him.  I love that if Soma pushes the frozen-in-time Goto into moving forward, Goto helps the lost Soma begin to find some direction.  

For years, Soma has been chasing this elusive concept of “being a hero” without even knowing what that means, which is why he never gets closer to fulfilment, because he doesn’t know what it’s supposed to be like to “feel like a hero”. No matter what he himself does, he is never able to see himself as a hero either because he couldn’t prevent the death of the one person he wanted to save. I will say probably that the thing that first changed Soma into making him feel like he has more sense of purpose in becoming one step closer to the “hero” that Kurume said he was is that Goto basically called him his hero. I think it’s so special because here we can really see the links drawn between Goto’s life, Soma’s life, and the narrative theme of being a “hero”.

Something that I thought was missing was how Goto (and potentially Subaru?) finds out about Soma’s past. We never see him tell him about it, but I wonder if that’s the reason why he nominates Soma to join Public Safety? We know that Ishigami knows about it, but I think Goto would probably have found out through Soma himself?

On another note, I actually wondered why Soma, Goto and Kurosawa all have fairly similar strategies and strengths as detectives while Kaga and Shinonome have more specific specialties. Now I realise it’s because Goto trained under Soma, and Kurosawa trained under both Goto and Soma.

These two routes made me realise that Goto needed Soma, Soma needed Goto, and they both needed Ishigami and Public Safety in order to be able to keep walking forward without being trapped in neverending grief. I just need to talk for a little bit about how incredible Ishigami is. Ishigami’s judgement in picking his team is amazing. The fact that he finds these people who have personal vendettas who are working covertly and independently to achieve vengeance and then sees how they evaluate each other shows that he is actively building a team that respects each other and work well together. He sees that they have the skills for Public Safety work but also that they have personal issues that Public Safety can help them deal with, and then he does everything he can to help them attain their peace. Ishigami is unbelievably supportive. He works quietly and diligently within the system to get his subordinates to where they need to be and I LOVE THAT SO MUCH.

Okay with all this said, I cross referenced between Goto’s Episode 0 and Soma’s Episode 0 and found some timeline discrepancies? Right after Kazuki’s death, we know Goto spends a while completely depressed until Subaru drags him up to go to Kazuki’s funeral. Then after her funeral, he becomes obsessed with working independently to try to avenge her death. This goes on for long enough (weeks) that Soma has to corner him in a back alley to lecture him (which by the way happens surprisingly often with Soma lol). Goto transfers to Public Safety soon after Kazuki’s funeral. We know this because he transfers and we see him start doing work for Ishigami but when he goes to see her grave and Subaru says that he’s transferring to SP department, this happens on the monthiversary of Kazuki’s death (not even her funeral). Then, it says that Soma transfers to Public Safety a few weeks after Goto’s transfer (meaning it would have happened within a couple months at most after Kazuki’s death).

In Soma’s route, we know that he goes to see Goto a few weeks after Iijima (Kazuki)’s funeral with the bananas. This occurs while Goto is still at Criminal Affairs because Soma references “the other day” when Soma lectures him about his personal life getting in the way of his job. I’m assuming this happens after the back alley lecture when Goto has returned to normal life for that one week before he gets called to transfer to Public Safety. However, later Soma, still working in Criminal Affairs, says “Years have passed, but the one responsible for [Kazuki’s] case wasn’t caught”. This suggests that Soma was still at Criminal Affairs for years after Goto’s transfer to Public Safety rather than weeks? So what’s the TRUTH?

I also just briefly want to gush about how much I love the CG. We see those typical important Soma elements (his hair and the bonsai) but I just love the look on his face. I mean he looks impossibly handsome, but he looks so serious and determined while at the same time still lacking the warmth that we see in later CGs that he only develops after meeting his MC. Am I reading too much into this? Maybe, but let me PRETEND. 

Finally, I want to end my thoughts on how this relates to his relationship with his MC. Soma says that she’s helped him to face the future. As I previously discussed, I genuinely believe that part of this is because his MC lets him see glimpses of what Kurume could have been. Soma is attracted to her brightness, her bravery, her diligence, her conviction and her optimism. (He also starts enjoying everyday life with her when they pose as a married couple and let’s not forget that he does find her physically attractive even before he falls in love/realises he’s in love lol). But more significantly, I feel like this is because of how important he is to her.

Soma has previously said that he doesn’t trust Public Safety, but for some reason they seem to trust him. This reveals that he’s not sure of what his value is to his department or to his colleagues. While he has moved forward, he’s still working towards being that “someone who pushes you to face the future” and “helps people without trying”. Even though Goto basically implies that Soma is the one who has helped him face his future, Soma sort of interrupts so he doesn’t explicitly voice it. However, when his MC confesses how important he is to her with that unwavering conviction of hers, I believe in that moment he suddenly realises his own worth. His MC, who in some ways is a vicarious symbol of Kurume’s potential, helps him see that he has already been a “hero” to those he has saved through his Public Safety work and to his colleagues. This, combined with her trust in his colleagues and them actually coming to the rescue, is what makes Soma able to trust his colleagues. Because he finally knows his own worth, he can finally see how significant he is to his colleagues and how far they would go for him. I think this is also what makes him believe in Public Safety as an institution. For years, he’s been unable to trust or forgive Public Safety because of what happened to Kurume, but now he can finally see that they as an institution have actually helped people and saved people’s lives, and this is partially due to his own involvement.

Finally, the last facet of his relationship with his MC that I want to talk about is how mutually important their relationship is. I’ve already discussed how his MC sees him as a hero by those guidelines that Goto helped him set down, but by those same guidelines, his MC is also his hero. I mean first off, he first became conscious of her as a woman when she gave a ridiculous display of bravery. But more importantly, if a hero is someone who helps people without trying and someone who pushes you to face the future, she has done both of those for him. He says so himself: “With her, I think I can focus on the future and moving forward”. And she has helped him just by being herself. This theme really comes to a head when she literally throws away her own future to help him finally get closure. When he decides to cut his hair, he says this:

“I’ll make the cut, draw the distinction between the past and the future, because I love them both.

I have to let go of what I’ve lost and look to what I can still gain.”

He learns this because of her.

Soma: Who I Once Was is an incredible story that really helped me to understand my favourite character’s psyche, history and relationships just a little bit more. For that, I’m so thrilled and so grateful. I’m so pleased at the quality of this content and all the insight it provides, and I’m excited to see how Soma and his relationships continue to grow and develop in the future.

[samwrights]

Besitos - Punk!AU [Kuroo]

This is a continuation of Elixir. If you haven’t read the prologue, you can find that [here]. Enjoy the first part of Kuroo’s route! Images are not mine—pulled from Pinterest and google. If we find the artist, please let me know so I can tag them!

Author note: Song lyrics are shown in lines by themselves. Italicized lyrics are sung by you, while bolder lyrics are song by one of the boys. For which boy is singing, as it can get a little confusing, his name is mentioned before the lyrics.

Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, use of nicotine, and not so subtle hints of cheating.

Word count: 4,416

Song used: Besitos by Pierce The Veil

A complementary playlist can be found  »  here

“Actually, can we run Besitos again? We did okay, but I would really like to not be out of breath half way through.” Despite choosing this song as the opening, it was extremely challenging. You weren’t as adept at playing guitar as Kuroo and, while he wrote it so that your parts were simple, it was still difficult for you to add your charisma to the vocals. You were hesitant on opening with it at all, but the piece gave you the punch that your band was looking for. The work itself was a masterpiece and you made sure to tell your guitarist that. But very rarely did Elixir utilize not only you and Makki for vocals, but Kuroo himself as well was featured in pieces that had screaming. That, in addition to two guitars for a layered sound and a fast tempo, proved to be a challenge even after practicing for months.

Kuroo looked thrilled when you announced that was what you wished to work on—he put his whole heart into this song and it was obvious. After securing your guitar around your shoulders, he hands you a pick which you use to test out each of your strings. Ensuring they were tuned once again, you gave Terushima a thumbs up to start the beat with the fast roll of the snare drums. The rest of followed suit playing your respective riffs and licks before you started with your first verse, Makki’s one line of vocals adding an underlying harmony that converged seamlessly.

Better not get back up I spit my heart into this red cup

Timing was crucial in this song, to keep up with the pace. If even off for a second, on vocals especially, could throw the flow of the song, especially on yours and Kuroo’s parts. A favored element in this song that you’d never thought you would say was highlighting Makki’s vocal range, as he sang his line in a key higher than yours. According to the writer, Kuroo added in these bits and pieces to give your diaphragm a break, to which you were incredibly grateful for. The chorus was a slightly slower pace than the rest of the song which also granted you reprieve, as was one of Makki’s spoken word lines.

True love comes from more than just the heart.

By the second verse, you had grown more comfortable in your skin. Seeing as you had slightly less guitar parts in this moment, you had opted to move around like you would on stage, cradling your microphone in your hand. Was it a little weird having the girlfriends in the same room as you paraded around on your makeshift stage? Yes. Did you feel the glares coming from them as you leaned dangerously close to Makki while the bassist gave his gentle hums of backing vocals? Also yes. Did you give two fucks about any of it?

Absolutely not.

All you could feel was the electricity coursing through your veins as the song gave you the energy you were in desperate need for. Perhaps this was the reason you felt that the song was off—your first run through didn’t feel as right as this one did. The art of performance was missing, as you screwed around with your mates like you would during any other show. And for a song that showcased Elixir’s many talents from Terushima’s flawless ability to keep a beat regardless of subtle changes, to Makki’s own vocal abilities, to the fact that Kuroo knew his band so well and knew how to push the envelope, you needed to bring the performance.

The second chorus encapsulated all of the above traits, as the beat slowed down by a minuscule margin while Makki actually got to show off a bass solo, which Kuroo supported the groove by clapping in rhythm before transitioning into his small screaming section. Terushima slowed down the ground as we entered the final bridge—your favorite part: a spoken word section in which you and Makki teetered back and forth.

A diamond bullet and a gun made of gold She was covered in blood last seen in San Francisco.

If you’ve said it once, you’ve said six hundred times: Tetsurō Kuroo was a mad genius. He gave one more dignified bellow before the tempo was back at full speed, your fingers rushing to keep up with how much fun you’d been having prancing around. The four of you entered the final chorus, the additional line was your final line in the song to drive home another lyrical moment that you wanted to highlight forever before focusing on your outro solo.

You know I’ve never held a gun in my life But now I carry one around in case I see you tonight.

The boys closed out the last lines while you once again moved around, this time standing back to back with Kuroo as your fingers danced along your guitar strings to close out the song.

“Now that is what it’s supposed to sound like!” Kuroo cried out, overwhelmed with joy for a moment to hear his vision come to life.

“That was so fucking sick, dude!” You cried out, simultaneously putting your guitar off to the side to give Kuroo the hug he deserved. One that involved picking up your smaller frame by comparison off the ground and giving you a little twirl, which prompted a glare from his girlfriend but you couldn’t be bothered at the moment. Well, couldn’t be bothered until not only her but all of the girlfriends, whose names you still didn’t know, came to stand in front of the two of you and cleared your throat.

“I have to get going, Tetsurō.” She says while the other two are saying their own farewells. Maybe it should have come as a shock to you that she didn’t state a reason, or even more so that Kuroo didn’t even bother to ask.

“Cool, I’ll call ya later.” The raven haired boy says instead, pressing a brief kiss to her cheek, not even bothering to walk them out. They knew where the door was. “Alright, shall we continue?” You made a face at Kuroo, not wanting to announce the elephant in the room. But as soon as he caught the look, he rolled his eyes at you. “What?”

“Y’all ain’t even gonna walk ‘em out the door, huh?”

“Shut up, [name].”

“I’m just saying.” You said dramatically, walking to the mini fridge next to the stairs to grab yourself another beer.

“Yeah, yeah we’re shitty boyfriends.” Makki drawls. “Can we move on now? It’s been two hours and we’ve played three songs.”

“Four!” Teru counters.

“The same song twice doesn’t count. We still have six more songs to get through.” Kuroo spat out, taking a quit hit of his vape that was in his front right pocket.

“Alright, alright. Let’s move on from the songs we already did then.” You set your beer down at the foot of your microphone stand—a terrible idea, really considering you stomped around like a child throwing a tantrum. Especially considering the following song in the set list was another fast pace, thrasher type of song born of Terushima’s overactive imagination. In hindsight, you shouldn’t have put that beer there, as you had to clean up the spill when you had inevitably ended up knocking it over. While doing so, the two stoners of the group had retreated to the backyard to smoke another bowl while you and Kuroo stayed behind to clean the mess. “Hey, Tetsu. You good man?” You asked when you heard the sliding door close upstairs.

“Yeah? Why?”

“I dunno, just checking on you, I guess.”

“This about earlier?” His hazel eyes followed your form as you tossed the soaked paper towels into the nearby bin. Though his head was down, focused on making sure the alcohol didn’t stain the carpet, you gave a shrug in response. “I’m okay, I promise.”

“If you say so.” You concede, holding a hand out to pull him off the floor. Sluggishly, the other two walked in, eyes redder than Kuroo’s old Nekoma shirt that still somehow fit him despite having it for ten years. “Ah, great. We should wrap up practice before Cheech and Chong forget how to play their instruments.”

“Hey, I resent that!” Terushima jeered, swinging his drumsticks in his fingers. “I play just fine when I’m high!” You and Kuroo looked at each other before belting out a guffaw before the aforementioned guitarist grabbed his acoustic.

“Alright, alright come on ya dilltwats. We have a show tomorrow in case you forgot.” Despite the jab at the two boys who were now suiting up once again, Kuroo grabbed a nearby stool to sit in while you played your one acoustic piece, written by Hanamaki who acted as the primary vocalist for the song. And with your leisure time, you opted to squeeze yourself onto the wooden stool with Tetsu, cautious not to bump him while he played his guitar. When your harmony’s came up, you didn’t move, instead staring at Makki while the two of you sang to each other. Kuroo listened carefully, making sure you both were keeping time with him and Teru, all the while wishing you were singing to him instead. Thankfully, the rest of the set went by relatively smooth, considering they were older songs the four of you had already mastered and didn’t require as much finessing or fine tuning.

The clock struck 9pm, meaning that the four of you actually needed to end practice to be respectful towards Yūji’s parents who were going to be heading to bed soon. Before parting ways, you loaded up your band’s shitty little van with all the equipment you were going to need for tomorrow night’s show. After closing the door to the van and locking with padlocks, Makki perched an arm atop the crown of your head, his towering height allowing him to do so with ease. “Teru and I are going on a blunt cruise, you coming with, mom?” He asks, bending down and forward to gauge your reaction.

“How did I become the mom friend? I tell you all to fuck off and die like every three seconds.”

“You literally held off going to college for two years so that we could all go together.” Terushima points out bluntly, making Hanamaki laugh which inherently shook your head as he was still resting on you. “And you’re the oldest.”

“If I’m mom, who’s dad?”

“Kuroo.” The two laugh nearly uncontrollably for a solid minute before Teru holds up rolling papers an a small plastic baggie, silently reiterating Makki’s earlier question.

“Nah, I’ll skip tonight. I haven’t been feeling the greatest for the last few days and I don’t wanna feel like shit tomorrow.”

“Suit yourself!” The blonde drummer calls out before clambering into to Takahiro’s car. From inside the vehicle, you could hear the boisterous bass shaking all the way to the outside before the drove off, the sound traveling with them to be replaced with silence.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Tetsu.” You called out before sitting in your own car, repeating the same routine from earlier; click your safety belt, light a cigarette, bump your guilty pleasure playlist, and be on your merry way. It didn’t even occur to you that Kuroo had stood in the Terushima’s driveway, without ever moving to even enter his car. Despite how well practice had went, the text that Kuroo had received earlier from his girlfriend made him slightly uncomfortable. Or rather, his indifference to her text made him uncomfortable. But rather than continuing to have some strange form of an existential crisis, Kuroo brought himself to sit in his car, light a cigarette while pulling out of the driveway and head home.

You arrive home halfway through nine in the evening, immediately retreating to your couch and flicking on your favorite streaming service. For dull, background noise, you turn on an old favorite while mindlessly switching back and forth between the same three social media apps until you see the banner of a new notification coming in. Apparently, Kuroo could tell something was bothering you, according to the text he had just sent in. At first, you hesitated your response, even typing out an ellipses that you sent through before asking how he knew. “You always ask for favors when you’re sick. Ice cream, soup, ramen.” You pursed your lips, cursing internally at how well your best friend knew your tells. When you didn’t respond again, Kuroo chimed in with a text that simply said your name, following with, “wanna have a movie night?”

“Sounds good. I get pizza, you get beer?” Your fingers moved before your brain could stop and contemplate whether or not you even wanted company at the moment. Too late now, you figured, before placing your usual pizza order; as you breezed through another episode of whatever comedy you were watching until Kuroo let himself into your apartment. Fuck respecting privacy, he had told you once, as you had opted into giving him the spare key to your home.

“You haven’t even changed into sweats yet,” Kuroo muses as he finds you still curled in your sofa. “Something is wrong.”

“I’m okay,” your voice carries a teasing lilt to it as you echoed his words from earlier. “I promise.” Kuroo lets out a dry laugh as he rummaged through your kitchen cupboards, the sound clinking glasses and bottles sounding off before he joined you on the couch.

“For real, what’s bothering you?” The guitarist holds an arm up, his free hand holding the beer he poured for himself, to allow you to rest on his chest. Before taking him up on his offer, you grabbed the drink he poured for you, resting on the coffee table ahead of you, as well and touching your glass to his.

“You first.” You baited. And such was the nature of yours and Kuroo’s relationship—you knew each other all too well and always sought solace with each other. Kuroo could read you like a book, even if the book were inverted and translated into another language. Not only could he tell when you were upset—he knew how to fix it.

When it came to Kuroo, you never gave into his provocations. No matter much he tried to get a rise out of you, it was next to impossible with your steeled resolve. You knew Kuroo better than that, knew that he was a master of deflection and taking away focus off himself when it was centered around anything but his talent, expertise, and good looks. Feelings? Not his thing. But conversation would never progress between the two of you until he finally caved into your incessant questioning. A huge part of the reason Kuroo hesitated ever speaking on his feelings, you knew, was fear out of speaking his thoughts into existence. “I’m thinking about breaking up with Nanami.”

So that was her name.

Before conversation could go any further, the doorbell conveniently rang, signifying the delivery of your food. Setting down your glass and moving away from Kuroo, you opened the door, grabbing your food and handing a generous tip to the driver before re-situating yourself on the couch, all in a hurried pace. Unceremoniously, you all but tossed the pizza box on the coffee table. “Okay, you were saying?”

“I’m breaking up with Nanami.” The raven-haired boys voice comes painted with confidence the second time around, as if the few minutes you stepped away, he had found his own concrete resolve.

“Okay...” Out of discomfort, or maybe the rumbling of your stomach, you grab a slice, tucking your feet under your bottom to keep them warm. “Why?”

“She’s lying to me, for starters.” You cock a brow to him, silently wondering how he knew that. Instead of verbalizing a response, Kuroo hands you his phone, reaching for his own piece of pizza while you tried to not get grease on the glass. “She doesn’t have a brother.” He clarifies, seeing the confusion on your face upon reading the text that signified she was unable to come to the show tomorrow due to her brother conveniently coming back into town.

“Oh.” Now it made sense. Why anyone, especially a girlfriend, would lie about their sibling coming back into town was more than suspicious. The two of you had fallen quiet, blankly watching the moving images on the television while laying shoulder to shoulder, the silence comforting rather than awkward. But even in the silence with a beer in hand, Kuroo’s free hand that was once wrapped loosely around your shoulder was now resting atop one of your thighs—nothing out of the ordinary. While his verbal provocation wasn’t necessarily an effective tactic against you, subtle movements that tickled your skin often felt like torture by fire. He was goading you into speaking your troubles.

“C’mon, you can tell me anything.” While you couldn’t deny that, it was more so trying to figure out how to tell him your truth. How to tell him without sounding like you were crazy. It seems Kuroo knew this too, as he offered solace in the form of pulling you into his lap sideways, one arm wrapping around your shoulders while the other rested atop your thighs.

“Is it just me or has everything been weird between all of us?” You ask finally, opting to nestle into his tattooed neck as opposed to looking at him. The position was familiar and comfortable and it felt like home.

“No, it’s not just you.” Kuroo mumbles into the breadth of your scalp. “We’re growing up, babe. We’re adults with lives and our own homes and jobs.”

“The only home we’ve ever needed is each other.” Unable to muster a verbal response, Kuroo tightens his grip on you ever so slightly, shifting so that the two of were impossibly close, chest to chest. You make the mistake of tilting your head up to look at him in wonder. A mistake due to the fact that Kuroo was dangerously close, closer than you were aware of with his nose now touching yours. Your name leaves his lips in a broken whimper that sends jolts through every nerve ending in your body. “Tetsu, w—“ Before your protest could leave your lips, the hand that was resting in your lap came to cup your cheek and there was no stopping him. There was no quelling of the storm of Kuroo’s pent up emotions in this moment; he couldn’t anymore.

“Ten long years,” he says when he finally pulls away from the kiss that you hadn’t fought off. “I’ve been waiting ten years to do that.” You should feel relieved at the confession—relief that he returned the feelings you had buried at the bottom of the well. But nonetheless, this was not how you imagined this scenario playing out. Instead of relief, you were overcome with anxiety. Kuroo was still in a relationship for fuck’s sake! It didn’t matter that she was lying to him or that he clearly admitted that he wanted to break things off. It didn’t matter that you’d wanted to be with him since the day you met him at the coffee shop all those years ago or that it took everything in you not to give into your desires when you were roommates in university. The breathy exhale of your name that spills past his lips pulls you from your reverie, your eyes locking with his hazel ones.

There’s confusion and there’s guilt. There’s sadness and fear. But above all, there’s love in those shiny topaz gems that he is lucky to have as eyes. “Tetsu, you can’t do this.” The tremors in your voice give way to your own guilt. You may not have been a fan of his girlfriend, but that didn’t meant that any of this was okay. “It’s not fair.”

“You saw it yourself, she’s lying to me. She’s probably cheating on me—“

“Tetsurō, that doesn’t make it okay.” By now, you’ve resigned yourself to pushing off of his lap and creating as much distance between him and yourself as you could without outright leaving your own living room. But now that he had a taste of you, he couldn’t just let it go. No, not until he had you.

“You can’t tell me you didn’t feel it too.” That was besides the point. Of course you felt it too, you had all those years ago and still to this day. But just because you felt it, you both did, doesn’t change the reality of the situation. Just because you both were mutually pining after one another didn’t change the fact that Kuroo had made the decision to date somebody else rather than confessing his feelings to you. Not that you were any better, though you would use the excuse of defending your homeostasis as a friend group. Kuroo didn’t have that excuse when he changed the state of normalcy by attempting to bring somebody else to the front door of the home that was your friendship, yet he refused to let them in.

It wasn’t fair.

“That doesn’t make it okay,” You repeated, “and I think you should go.”

“No.” He was being stubborn now. “If it bothers you so fucking much, I’ll break up with her right now.”

“Kuroo, you have to do it because that’s what you want, not because that’s what I want.”

“So you admit that’s what you want?” Dammit, he had you there. Of course, you should be jumping for joy in this moment. But something about the way all of this started and transpired just didn’t feel right to you. Was it okay for your happiness to come at the expense of someone else? “Clearly, Nanami and I weren’t doing okay. I wouldn’t have already been thinking of breaking it off if we were.” He says again, reading the expression you didn’t even realize you were wearing. Sometimes having someone know you like every inch of his own tattooed skin was really frustrating.

“Do what you want,” you concede finally, “I’m gonna go smoke.” Pushing yourself off the couch, you grab your parka that was draped over a coat hook before slamming your front door behind you as you sat on your stoop. Flicking your lighter and setting fire to the tobacco leaves inside the tube, you could hear Kuroo on the phone on the inside. You had half a mind to start banging on your window—he was being too loud and you still had neighbors to be courteous of despite you slamming the door seconds ago. Bits and pieces of the conversation could be heard past the stone walls. Kuroo was raising his voice about the suspicious text Nanami had sent earlier, about how he knew she was lying. About how he really just didn’t give a shit about her.

Ouch.

No matter who was on the receiving end of that one, it still left you feeling the unpleasantries going on in your apartment. You’re halfway done with your cigarette when Kuroo finally joins you, his hair even more disheveled than normal. Probably from constant raking his calloused fingers through his raven locks. The guitarist takes a seat next to you on the steps leading up to your building, but remaining quiet. What was there to say in this moment? Sure, he did what you had been secretly wishing for since they started dating, but something about it all was just wrong. “She told me I was crazy for accusing her of cheating, that I was probably the one cheating.”

“Technically—“

“This isn’t the first time, [name].” All joking is out the window, and in rare occasion, Tetsurō Kuroo is serious. “She’s bailed on every single show with some stupid excuse but comes to our practices because she thinks that when we aren’t in public we’re all just having some crazy bukkake orgy.” A heavy exhale leaves his lungs as smoke billows past his lips. It isn’t often that Kuroo was the openly vulnerable one, often preferring to be the one everyone leaned on instead. It was the reason he never spoke his issues into existence, but Kuroo always gave more away in his body language than his words. “Why do you think she hated you so much?”

“To be fair, all the girlfriends hate me.”

“Because they all think that you’re just in it for dick.” A spluttered laugh merged with a cough that escaped you. Not that you were one to shy away from vulgarity, but the reasons for your existence in Elixir were vastly different than from what they thought that it was laughable. With a shake of your head, you flicked your now dead filter before lighting another one. It was a chain smoking kind of night.

“So now what?” With his free hand, Kuroo grabs one of yours, the rose and dagger tattoo on his hand catching your eyes. You always admired the artwork that littered his body; his knuckles were your favorite. Each digit held a letter of the word ‘HOMESICK’, save for the thumbs, as an homage to the way your friend group felt like home. He even said he got them for you.

“Just...let me hold you.” Kuroo’s love language, for as long as you could remember, was physical touch. Even when it was the four of you, he was touchy with the boys as well. He was never opposed to giving them hugs or even platonic kisses because he loved them. Truly, he did. With you, he had always needed to be touching you, whether it was a hand on your shoulder or the small of your back, holding onto your pinky finger with his own. Tetsu gave the best hugs.

As you crawled in between his slightly opened legs, you pressed your back into his chest while he leaned over you slightly, his warmth contradicting the bitter November cold. You realized then the dichotomy and dynamics between Kuroo’s relationships. While he was so open with your friend group, you realized you’d probably seen him kiss Teru more than his own girlfriend, even if it was platonic. Maybe it was a result of her own design, maybe she didn’t like the way stale smoke smelled on his skin and lips.

Does it even matter anymore?

You looked up at Kuroo as smoke left trickled past your lips, letting the smoke dance around his clean shaved chin. “Are we okay?” You asked quietly.

“Define ‘okay’?” He was baiting you again, trying to get you to openly speak about what was to come moving forward. Kuroo was trying to get you to define the relationship and, thankfully, you hadn’t taken the hook yet. “I spoke my piece, baby. It’s your turn.”

BONUS: texts between you and Kuroo, text from Nanami. I like including these to see if I’m capable of making an SMAU.

[ Elixir « Besitos » I Don’t Care ]

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[skiesoftwilight]

Stubborn (Jason Todd)

I found this one at the very bottom of my docs. I thought I posted it, but I was wrong, so after a brief read and edit, I got it ready to be posted :) (Sorry for the lack of writing, I’m trying hard, but I'm still trying to climb over my writer’s block :/) I hope you all enjoy! :)

Word Count: 2303

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“Where the hell is all my gear?”

Your brows furrowed together in confusion while you stared into your empty uniform showcase, wondering who took your uniform. All of your weapons were gone from their designated hooks; they even took your communicator that kept track of all your missions and routes. They didn’t even bother to close the glass door or turn off the lights inside to cover up their tracks, there was a bunch of evidence around you, but you still didn’t have the slightest clue.

The sound of numerous footsteps and talking met your ears and caused you to turn around swiftly to see Dick, Jason, and Damian enter the Batcave with cheeky smiles on their faces. They were so involved in their conversation that they didn’t acknowledge your presence that was only a few feet away from them.

“Really? Her? I would’ve thought—”

“Hello boys,” You made your presence known, walking in front of them slowly, trying to see if the culprit was in front of your eyes, “What brings you down here? I thought Bruce said that he gave you all the night off?”

The boys' attention was immediately brought to your small form in front of them. They eyed you up and down, taking in your tense demeanor, trying to figure out what had gotten you upset. Dick and Damian returned your confused state while Jason’s face remained calm while he stared at you in the eyes and giving you that goofy smile that you loved so much.

“Bruce received a surprise mission and he’s sending us to take care of it,” Jason folded his arms over his chest in a loose manner, “What are you doing down here? I thought you were supposed to be upstairs resting?”

“Alfred cleared me earlier this morning,” You stated with pride, looking at them with half-smiles as you continued your search, “I came down here ‘cause I thought I heard a noise, so I decided to investigate… so far, no culprit…”

Dick raised his hand to state that you couldn’t have possibly heard a noise from the manor as the only access was from an elevator, but when Jason placed a hand on his shoulder, he put his hand down as he knew that his younger brother had caught you, his charming partner, in a lie. He didn’t address it at first; he let you believe that you had fooled them in order to see if you would let it slip on why you were really down in the Batcave.

“Oh okay, well good luck trying to catch it, whatever it is that you heard,” Jason said with a hint of mirth as he walked passed you, letting his large hand cup your shoulder with a pat before making his way to get suited up with Damian and Dick, “just don’t stay down here too long, I don’t care if Alfred cleared you or not, you should still be resting.”

“Well, actually, now that the three of you are down here, I did notice that, uh, my uniform is, uh, missing from its showcase,” You brought yourself to stand right in front of Jason once again, not letting him advance further to his own uniform; he waved Dick and Damian to go on ahead while he stayed to talk, “You wouldn’t happen to know what happened to it by chance?”

“Nope, not a clue. You were the last person to wear it, and if I’m not mistaken, the only person to wear it, so shouldn’t you know where you put it?” Jason kept his facial expressions neutral as he stared down at you. His tone was dripping with sarcasm, and it didn’t bother you that much, but all you wanted was the person who took it.

“Well, I came down here earlier and seen it sitting perfectly in it case, and now I come back down and it’s missing…” You placed your bandaged hand on your hip gently, being careful not to put too much pressure on it; it didn’t dawn on you right away, but things were clicking together in your mind, “right around the time you, Dick, and Damian are going out on a mission. Isn’t that crazy?”

Jason’s eyes roamed around the empty case as if he was conducting his own investigation before letting his semi-serious gaze return to your face to see that you were starting to get irritated with the lack of new information on your missing suit. He placed his hands upon your shoulders to move you out of the way gently so he could get ready as Dick and Damian were already waiting on him.

“That is crazy. I’m sure I haven’t seen it,” Jason poked himself in the chess with an innocent look, but you weren’t buying into it; your boyfriend liked to play games and even with you being his partner, you didn’t make the exception. He turned to the other boys and asked them out of curiosity, “You two haven’t happened to see their suit anywhere, or did you guys move it?”

They both shook their heads, which made you laugh in disbelief at the lack of progress you were making in your investigation. You walked away from Jason to lean against the empty case to think about your options. You knew someone from inside the manor had to have taken it cause Bruce always has the cave on lockdown when not being occupied.

“I already asked Bruce and Alfred about it and they said they didn’t touch it at all, Tim is too cracked out on coffee and involved on his computer to come down here and actually do something, so it just leaves you three.” You eyed them with suspicious intentions, Jason just laughed as he threw his jacket on and went to retrieve his weapons that were in his lockbox.

“I don’t understand why your suit is so important right now, you literally are just coming out of recovery from our last mission that almost left you completely crippled, the suit should be the last thing on your mind and rest should be first.” Jason reprimanded you indirectly once again for not getting your rest; he cares about you way too much to let you do stupid things.

“Oh, enough talk about the last mission, it was one slip up, that was it, you were occupied and I thought that if we didn’t catch that guy, all our intel would’ve been gone.” You admitted, shrugging your shoulders, “I didn’t think that there would be those brutes in the other room waiting for us.” 

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose while images of your battered body from the previous mission crept into his mind, “Yeah, that’s your problem when you put your suit on and go out, you don’t think, just act. That one slip up could’ve killed you and you are failing to realize that,” He walked over to the Batcomputer to get his communicator, “When I saw you on that floor, all bloodied and bruised… I thought you were dying—you were very lucky I got there in time.”

You stood silent as you let his words sink in. When you became his partner, he confessed that he didn’t want you to fight alongside him because it could get messy mixing two lifestyles together, but you reassured him you had what it takes. He never once shied away from telling you that he would do whatever it takes to keep you from hurting yourself any more than you might’ve on or off duty and that is when it hit you like a ton of bricks. All of your confusion turned into annoyance and slight anger as you stared at him in disbelief.

“You took it.”

“What? I told you I—”

“You always said that you would do whatever it takes to stop me from hurting myself any more than I already was and that’s what you’re doing now. You took my gear because you don’t want me to leave the cave or the manor. You told me this the first time I got hurt and now after my last mission, you took my stuff. I want it back; where did you put it?” You demanded, your voice getting rougher as you approached him.

Jason sighed in defeat as he let his head hang low before turning upwards in the boys' direction to tell them that you were good at these types of things. He brought his attention back towards you, but his gaze was rougher and his demeanor was intimidating.

“What I did was right and you know it too. I saw you this morning wincing when you just had to turn a doorknob. How the hell are you gonna scale walls and fight when you can’t even open a damn door?” He was getting worked up as he matched your level of irritation. 

“That was this morning, I’m better now and you had no right to take my stuff, you could’ve at least talked to me first before resorting to this, I might’ve agreed with you.” You pushed his shoulder with your fingers as you were trying to show that you were getting worked up. You winced slightly as your wrist felt the firmness of his chest traveling through your hand.

“I took it from you because I knew you would go behind my back and go out and possibly get yourself killed. You’re stubborn and I have to find ways to deal with it so you don’t end up doing something stupid.” His voice was heavy and his tone was almost threatening; you were a bit nervous that this whole suit thing blew up into some ridiculous fight. Jason never got this mad at you, but you really did know how to work him up.

“Dick, Damian,” You said their names with such anger that they looked at you with wide eyes as they dreaded hearing their names come off your lips, “I know this is all coming from our last mission, but if you were working with me and that happened and would you talk to me about it or play some childish game like Jason here?”

They both looked at each other and Damian nudged Dick to be the spokesperson for the both of them, “In all honesty, (Y/N), I agreed with what Jason did, given that I do know that you can be a bit hard-headed when it comes to following rules. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt again either.” 

“You’re taking his side.” You threw your hands up in the air in disbelief. Even your close friends couldn’t support you when you needed them.

“This isn’t about sides…” Jason pushed, trying to usher those two to the car they would be taking.

“—I can’t believe you! What next? You lock me in my room like a misbehaving child—”

“—You could have died!” In the aftermath of the shout, the silence seemed deafening. Jason took a step closer, grabbed a hold of you, pulling you into his warm embrace, cradling your fragile form. “You could’ve died,” he spoke softly. “I nearly lost you. If you want to make this about sides, I’m on whatever side keeps you alive. Can’t you see that?”

This whole argument struck a chord deep within Jason and he finally expressed his true fear of losing you. You didn’t want to bring it this far, but it happened. While Jason cradled you in his arms, you swayed the both of you as you were thinking of ways you could apologize to him for making him get mad at you over your suit.

Jason kissed the crown of your head while he pulled away to look you in the eyes with compassion. He flashed his goofy smile at you to lighten the mood of the room before grabbing his communicator off the computer top.

“Look, Jason, I’m sorry, I really—”

“Just save the apology for when I get back. Just don’t think too much on it, for now, if you want, we can talk about it when I get back, but for now, I really gotta go before Bruce finds out that we haven’t left yet.” Jason pointed at the ceiling and rolled his eyes, which made you chuckle, “Just listen this once and go back upstairs and get some rest. Keep the bed warm for me.”

You folded your arms across your chest as you were calming down, “Alright, but when you get home, will you give me my suit back?”

Jason turned back around and gave you a look that could kill before letting it melt away to reveal a smirk, “You really are stubborn are you?” 

A smile crept onto your face as you quickly ran up to him and gave him a peck on the lips and wishing him good luck and to stay safe as well as the rest of his brothers. He gave you a light tap on your butt and only pointed to the elevator with a playful, yet serious gaze. You backed away from him slowly while you waved goodbye before making your way to the elevator and taking it all the way up to the manor.

You were happy that you had finally found firm footing with Jason, but even happier—if you had to be truly honest—that you found your suit. While you continued to think of the words of apology to Jason, you made your way up the stairs and crawled right into your bed and buried yourself under the plush blankets with the t.v. remote in your wrapped hands, ready to begin resting. You were going to wait up until Jason got back; he never said that you should get some sleep, just rest and that could mean a whole lot of other things.

[zeetasposts]

Match up duo (◠‿◠✿)

if it’s not bothering you i want to request a matchups for ikevamp. i’m not sure if it’s okay to just sent my photos alone but i’ll gave you a short description of myself.

i’m very very short (4'9"). i’m asian and have long black hair. i usually like to wear comfortable clothes but i’m also into goth and pastel.

for my personalities i’m an aquarius, infp-t, i like writing stories/drawing. i like rock/metal music, i like travelling and nature but i don’t mind being inside a lot. i’m a sweet tooth too. mostly i like things that are unique, that not many people know about it.

i consider myself open minded, adventurous, i like to learn new things, i value my freedom. i don’t easily get along with new people but i can be the most talkative person if i knew them well enough. sorry if it’s too long, thank you so much.. i love your blog

Hi, love thank you so much for the request! @blue-imagica​ No way its never a bother I love doing these requests (◕ω◕✿) I’m so sorry it took me 2 million years to get this to ya! Also, I apologise in advance if it sucks hehe I decided to try my hand at the ikevamp match up in honour of best boi Isaacs route dropping lol Thanx so much for being so sweet I’m super glad you have been enjoying my writing

(/‿＼✿) ❤🔥

Anyways...... hope you have a wonderful day dear and I hope you enjoy it, love! ❤🌼

So I match you with.......................... Vincent

Selfie match up part

The first time this boy sees you he is completely captivated

You remind him of the summer, so bright, pure and innocent

He can’t tear his eyes away from you or, your jet black hair, its unparalleled dimension and the way it naturally flowed in the wind catching the rays of sun and shining

Your dark hair is so thick and shiny, and he is inspired by the way it cascades down your delicate soft skin like waves of midnight on a sandy beach

He is utterly and entirely inspired by you, and he wishes nothing more than go up to his art studio and paint you

All he wanted to do was paint those dark eyes of your, those eyes reflecting the deepest shades of the earth, shining with so much love and warmth.

And oh how easy it is for him to get lost in the universe of your eyes, he loves the way they sparkle and shine, lighting up with a thousand stars when you introduce yourself to him.  

If Vincent had to describe you as something it would be an angel, the way you extrude warmth and love, and all he wanted to do was get to know you.

He could easily envision himself with you, the two of you laughing and cuddled up together under the shade of a tree in the midst of a flower field.

Matchup part

You wandered through the mansion aimlessly thinking it was still part of the museum. You found yourself walking into the most beautiful art studio. You looked around and hung on the wall was a painting you knew all too well. Starry Night, you loved that painting, TBH you loved it so much it was actually your phone’s wallpaper at some point. As you continued to admire the paintings that filled the room, a young man with soft blond hair and ocean blue eyes walked through the door. You were awestruck, he was absolutely beautiful, you wondered if you had died and gone to heaven. Your face flushed, as you were rather shy and didn’t do too well with new people. It definitely didn’t help that he was staring at you with stars in his eyes. 

Finally, the young artist broke the silence “Oooh I’m terribly sorry for staring, how rude of me, my name is Vincent.” You gave a small smile, how ironic was it that his name was Vincent, he certainly had the same painting style as Thee Vincent van Gogh. You gave a small introduction, and before the two of you could chat, Sabatian burst through the door. He looked at you in shock and disbelief “You, Miss, how did you get in here”, you stared at the butler in confusion “Through the big wooded door, wait isn’t this part of the museum.” With that, Sabastian grabbed your wrist and escorted you to Comte’s room.

Le Comte explained your current situation very calmly over snacks and tea. You were shook, not only did you go back in time, but you were now roommates with the worlds most historical figures and to top it all off they were vampires! You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or scream. You low key though all of this was a dream that is until, Arthur almost bit you when you went to get a glass of water. Luckily for you, Vincent appeared just in time to save you. “Arthur, what do you think you are doing? You mustn’t scare her like that, it’s quite rude,” before Arthur could defend himself or spit out a flirty comment Vincent gently grabbed your hand and lead you away to his room “I’m terribly sorry for Arthur’s rude behaviour, he is super nice once you get to know him.”

You were honestly so spooked and freaked out, that you felt uneasy sleeping in a house full of vampires, especially after one just tried to bite you. As if reading your thoughts Vincent gave you the most angelic smile and asked “Would you like me to stay with you and guard you tonight? I was planning on staying up and painting anyways” You gave a small nod, you were already starting to drift off to sleep, from the long day full of surprises.

You woke up the next day to Vincent’s sunshine smile and honesty you wouldn’t mind waking up to that beautiful smile every day. It was so bright and warm and seemed to melt away all your troubles. You and Vincent made your way downstairs for breakfast. To say Vincent was overjoyed when he found out you were a fellow sweet tooth would be an understatement! It was something the two of you bonded over, and it actually brought you out of your shell a bit. Since that day Vincent would take you to all his favourite cafes to treat you to all sorts of sweet treats. 

As the two of you ate your delicious dessert, you found yourself opening up more and more to the painter. The two of you would literally talk each other’s ears off for hours and hours. By the time the two of you made your way home from a day out in the town the sun was already setting

You loved to draw and sketch, and when Vincent discovered this fact, he was overjoyed. One night as the two of you were sitting and sipping on tea together, he spotted your sketchbook laying on the table, and his eyes lit up in delight at your beautiful sketches. As he continued to page, you remembered that you had sketched him paining one day and before you could reach to stop him from paging through your book, he spotted at the exact sketch you didn't want him to see. Your face went red in the sweetest of blushes. You keenly eyed Vincent as he traced his fingers over the sketch, he was completely awestruck. He turned to give you the biggest brightest smile, you definitely didn’t miss the faint blush on his cheeks

Honestly, the two of you had long ago fallen madly in love with the other.

Vincent was determined to make his feelings known one day. The two of you often walked together through nature in search of the perfect scene to paint and draw. The two of you had recently come across a vast, beautiful flower field. It had become somewhat a tradition for the two of you to once a week have a picnic in the field and just enjoy the quiet, peaceful scenery. Often the two of you would lay on the blankie and look up at the sky, cloud watching. One day as the two of you were laying beside each other watching the clouds, Vincents hand gently bumped yours. You smiled and bumped his hand back. He then slowly moved his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours. Both of you turned your heads to look at each other. “I have something I need to tell you” Vincent had a slight blush forming on his face as he beamed up at you “ik hou van jou.” As the phrase left his mouth, he turned away in embarrassment, you sat up and tugged at his hand, you gave him the biggest brightest smile as your other hand moved to cup his cheek “I love you too Vincent”. The two of you then gravitated to meet in the sweetest of kisses. That afternoon the two of you cuties walked back home together hand in hand. You were going to ask Comte of you could stay in the past indefinitely.

The two of you angels made the cutest couple. Often the two of you could be found spending hours and hours together. Vincent would paint, and you would draw. Your favourite was travelling with the young artist. You loved to travel with Vincent and go to all sorts of art exhibitions that would showcase his beautiful paintings. After, the two of you would always wander around hand in hand, on the hunt for a café selling sweet treats. After both of you stuffed your faces with confectioneries, you would walk it off, by wandering around the park/nature together. As the two of you walked Vincent would occasionally lift your hand that he was holding to his lips and kiss the back of it, just to give you a small reminder of how much he loves you. 

In fact, this boy absolutely adores you and will 100% drop small little kisses on your temples, forehead, nose and cheeks. Vincent’s all-time favourite is to just rest his head on your lap after a long day of fun and adventures, learning new things together and having fun new experiences. He loves it when you pull your fingers through his golden locks and read your newest piece of writing to him. He absolutely loves to listen to your short stories and poems. Sometimes as he rests on your lap, his mind drifts back to the first day you met, and he thinks it must have been fate, for you to have not only wandered through the door into the mansion, but also for him to have found you in his art studio. Like the universe itself sending him his very own angel to love and to hold for all eternity

Other potential matches................. Theo 

I hope you enjoyed this love and i hope you have the best day ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀🌈🔥

[airariaira]

Deuxième - 26/01/20

I have been in Troyes for almost 2 weeks now - wow! The travel day over was hectic, Alex and I were on planes for 27 hours. We were very tired, and I felt like I really needed a shower and a nap.  Us before it all:

Us right in the thick of it:

I was so tired by the end of it that I missed my train stop 😰 I made it in the end though, and was really struck by how beautiful the countryside and old buildings around Troyes are! The city is also in the shape of a bottle cork, which is pretty neat. It’s also been around since the middle ages.

^ This is the oldest house in Troyes - from the 15th century!

I had my first day of school last Thursday, my first class being Philosophy. Still beign jetlagged and very tired, the French went right over my head. I met some of my classmates though! Most of them are good at speaking Engish, which is great when I dont understand something in French... We ate at the canteen at lunchtime. The canteen food here isn’t nearly as bad as people have seemed to describe it as, in my opinion! We also visited a nearby thrift store, which was pretty cool. The bell at school took a little adjusting to - it’s a tuneful song sort of thing, and was a little jarring for me at first!

The school system here is organised into subjecct streams - I’m in the Literature stream, so the subjects I take are Philosophy, History-Geography, French Literature, Arts-Plastiques, English, and both Literature and History-Geography taught in Englush also. Being in classes taught in French was very difficult at first, but each class seems to feel easier. My comprehension of French feels like it’s improving already! Sometimes I feel a little behind though, seeing as I’ve arrived in the middle of the school year, hence in the middle of most topics. I’m getting there though. Art classes here are very relaxed - no art portfolio board to stress about finishing like in New Zealand. Before art on Thursday I gave soe of my new classmates the souvenirs I brought over from New Zealand - the pins and patches were very popular.

I found my own way home, and I have each school day since - at the start it felt like I got a little lost or confused in a different way each time, but now I’ve finally got the hang of the route home. I also bought some postcards to send back home, to friends, family, work, etc. Sometimes I take pictures of the buildings and things around me - I must look like such a tourist! One of the things I walk past each time is the Seine river, which also runs through Paris. Along the riverside there’s some cool sculptures...

Speaking French is frustrating at times - when I know what I want to say, but just don’t have the knowledge of how to say it in French. I’m trying my best and it feels more natural each day. When people ask if I speak French, I still say “oui, un petit peu”, though. Troyes is famous for it’s outlet sales in January, which means a lot of stylish or branded clothes and shoes are at a really good price right now. I suppose that’s part of the reason so many people here look so stylish every day! At times I feel that I left a lot of my stylish clothes back in New Zealand, instead opting for my warmest options possible. It’s pretty cold most days here, usually the high being 5 degrees and the low around -2. However over the time I’ve been here I’ve been blessed with beautiful weather most of the time, which makes the pretty city look all the more gorgeous. Last Saturday I saw the local market, and also tried some chocolate from a chocolatier that won the award for best chocolatier in the world a few years ago - miam! I’ve also really been enjoying baguettes from the local bakeries, and good French cheese. The food here is great. I also went to see the museum and the inside of the Cathedral on Saturday afternoon with my host mother Marie. It was gorgeous:

There’s also lots of tributes to Joan of Arc there, too:

The museum was huuge, and had everything from archaelogical history, to Greek and Roman artefacts, to beautiful paintings from the 18th century to now, and even a section with stuffed animals. There was even a few stuffed New Zealand birds. The tui was very ugly for some reason - how sad that that ugly tui is the way so many people will see New Zealand’s native birds for the first time. On Sunday I woke up to the Cathedral bells - what an amazing thing to wake up to! I tried harder to speak French with a friend of my host family - I know I’ll get there eventually. That afternoon I went to see a movie at the cinema with my host family, in French. We watched ‘1917′ and it took me some concentration to understand, but I’m glad I went. One of my host family’s traditions is having crêpes after dinner on Sunday evenings - it feels similar to the tradition we had when I ws a kid to have pancakes every Sunday morning for breakfast. On Monday I met a classmate in my English class who lived in Christchurch for a year! It was really cool talking to her. Monday was also my first 10 hour day at school, so was very tiring. It’s weird getting to school while it’s still dark in the morning and leaving school after the sun has gone down in the evening. I started getting a little bit of a head cold on Monday, which sucked but is to be expected suddenly coming into the middle of winter straight from the hot New Zealand summer. On Tuesday we had P.E. class in the gym in the morning. It was pretty fun! I also found myself able to join in with some more banter and jokes with my classmates, which is really cool. Wednesdays are a half day, and seeing as I don’t take Spanish or German I only have 2 hours of classes on Wednesday mornings - wow! I had my first English Literature class, which was right up my alley. The teacher also had a lot of questions for me 😂 I went into town alone for the first time that afternoon because I needed some stationery, found my way around alright and actually quite enjoyed myself! I bought a French baguette for the first time 

(“I’m a real French girl!”) Since Thursday I’ve really been putting in effort to speak French and ask for people to speak French to me too. At school in my English class my teacher asked me to read out an extract from the text we’re studying to deomstrate how English has tonal shifts. I hope no one takes my accent and tone to be the absolute end goal of how they should speak English, because everyone talks differently! On Thursday during Arts-Plastiques we also went to see a showcase of art from the artist Deborah Bowmann. It was really fun to go to, but I did find the guide a little bit difficult to follow in French. Still a great experience nonetheless. I couldn’t believe that I had already been going to school here for a week - time is going so fast! On Friday (yesterday) I had a good day at school, and found myself opening up a little bit more to my classmates. I hope I can get to know them well with the time I have here.I only had one class yesterday because my Arts-Plastiques teacher was striking today. Some people here, particularly teachers I think, are striking because of the times the workday finishes. In the afternoon I went with all of the last year students (those in Terminal) to the Forum, which is a big expo in a big hall showcasing study and job options for after they’ve finished school. Some friends and I talked to a lady who was representing the (expensive) school that you go to to train for working in shops like Chanel in Paris. It’s very expensive, and you have to be very articulate in French, English, and even Chinese - as well as immaculately presented - because you are, essentially, the face of France. One of the other ladies at the stand was even told off because she had a piercing in her upper ear 😳 I walked past some of the strikers with Marie that afternoon - they were big yesterday. They caused traffic jams and there were protesters on many of the streets and everything. Yesterday evening we went out to dinner to a cool local restaurant called Rosa Parks. (It was très bon!) This afternoon we are going to go for a walk nearby the house my host family has by a lake that’s close to Troyes. I am really enjoying my time here! Until next time.

[wizardessheart-sideb]

In today’s episode we talk about Vincent’s sequel and maybe getting Joel’s soon-ish.

As per usual, the video is hardsubbed in English, but here’s a full transcript under the cut

HEWWO!

Hello everyone, welcome to Royal Magic Academy Radio, a podcast about Wizardess Heart. I’m your host, Mari. I’ve finally emerged from my haze that came with Fire Emblem: Three Houses coming out and now that I’m like 60 hours into that game, it’s time to focus on my other emotional support game *laughs*. But in all seriousness. So some housekeeping things: I’m going to make this podcast biweekly so episodes are a bit longer and I’ve got more time to prepare for them. I’m also wanting to branch back into my older interests as well as make more otome content, so this podcast being biweekly will also give me more time to work on those other projects. But yeah, that’s it. So without further ado, let’s get started.

GAMING NEWS

In gaming news, a new star collection event debuted. The Pit of Curiosities is circus-themed, and yes, Caesar’s in it, which I have to admit made me nervous laugh when I first saw it because. You know. Apparently he’s not re-traumatized though, so it’s fine. I’m saying apparently because I haven’t read it. To be honest, I haven’t read any of the stories because I’m just really not feeling this line-up. I also don’t have a huge nostalgic soft spot for circuses and fairs like a lot of people do, so I guess that’s also feeding into my apathy for this event. My mom never let me on rides at the fair and I was never really into the carnival games or food so I just. Never went that often and never developed a love for fairs or circuses. 

The Seasonal Slot: Blue Ocean is back, and it’s running until September which is a blessing considering it has a lot of items and it’s 1,000 Romance Points per spin. I wasn’t playing when this slot first came out so I’m glad I have a chance to play it. 

Before I say a quick word about Joel, I want to give a heads up that the sequels mechanic is a little different now from when it first debuted. You have to spend at least one story ticket on the dude’s main story in order to read the sequel, and thank you to tumblr user einhornaufzuchtstation for the tip about only spending one ticket, and also I’m sorry if I just butched your url. But yeah, you can’t go straight into the sequel anymore. 

And finally, Joel’s early bird is being reran! It’s not a super long period, but it’s something.

FUTURE EVENTS/SPECULATION

So let’s talk about Joel for a moment in a more speculative way. If we all recall, Joel was number 1 on the sequel poll results Solmare did back in December. I’m kinda thinking this rerun may mean we’ll be getting the sequels fairly soon, or at least we’ll be getting Joel’s soon. I calculated the average time between a route’s rerun and the sequel release day, and it’s an average of 32 days, meaning theoretically, we could have Joel’s sequel around September 1. However, I wouldn’t hold my breath for it. Solmare’s been inconsistent because, remember, they reran Elias and then hurriedly reran Vincent and didn’t release Elias’ sequel for another couple months. But I do think this is a sign that the next batch of sequels is coming soon. I mean, we are going to get them eventually.

FANDOM HISTORY

It’s time for Fandom History! Originally for this segment, I was gonna talk about Klaus 2 Electric Boogaloo, but since we potentially  have the sequels coming up, I think it’d be fun to talk about the sequels and the mystery of what the hell happened with Vincent’s sequel. So I guess we’re really molding Fandom History with Wizcourse, Fandom Chat, and Theory Time. 

The year is 2018. Klaus and Yukiya’s sequels have been released and we’ve had reruns of Klaus, Elias, Yukiya, and Vincent’s main routes. We know there’s a sequel on the way and most people think it’s Elias’ since his main route was reran literally right after Klaus’ back in October 2017. And since we’d already gotten Klaus and Yukiya’s sequels, the fandom figured he was next. But we were in for a rude awakening. 

Ultimately, we figured out Vincent’s sequel was being released first and the Tumblr fandom wasn’t exactly happy. A lot of people were confused how Vincent ranked in the top 5 anyway, but it felt like Solmare was skipping over Elias, which yeah, they kinda were. If we’d gotten the sequels in main route rerun order, we would’ve gotten Elias’ sequel before Yukiya’s, but obviously that didn’t happen. People were kind of lukewarm to Veincent’s sequel. 

But then something happened that surprised everyone. There was an actual, real leak of Vincent’s sequel CGs on Tumblr. Now, our fandom uses the word “leak” as a blanket word sometimes, but when I mean leak, I really do mean it was a leak. All the CGs were posted before his sequel was released. And unfortunately, I can’t find this original post. I’ve searched for it before and I still can’t find any trace of it.

And as you can imagine, a lot of people were shocked that one, this happened, and two, to see Tsukasa Kuze in these CGs. A lot of people, myself included, who weren’t going to play Vincent’s sequel, were now going to play it for Tsukasa. And tbh that’s something I hear a lot that people who played his sequel either actually like Vincent or they played it for Tsukasa. So when his sequel dropped, people flocked to it and. Well. 

I can say with certainty that no one was expecting Vincent’s sequel to be like that. It’s still considered one of the worst sequels, if not the worst and one of the worst routes in the game. The plot was all over the place, it felt rushed, and it wasn’t a satisfying read. Also they took away my precious baby boy from me AGAIN so that didn’t make me happy. But anyway, it was a hot mess and people were curious as to why.

Klaus’ sequel wasn’t perfect, the deus ex machina in it was a bit on the nose, but it was still a fun read and satisfying. Yukiya’s sequel was quite literally amazing and incredibly well-done and it still holds up today. So for Vincent’s sequel to flop so badly was a huge shock. So naturally we did what any fandom does in times like this: try and think of a reason why this happened.

There’s the possibility Solmare was just trying to do too many ideas at once and they got caught up in it. You have the Philosopher’s stone drama, Devi, Tsukasa, Vincent’s job at the ministry, the school trip, the wedding planning. There was a LOT packed into Vincent’s sequel. 

There’s also the possibility that Vincent’s sequel wasn’t supposed to drop so early, but something happened with development and it got pushed forward and as a result, was rushed and the writers weren’t able to fully develop the story.

In the end, we’re never really going to know what happened with Vincent’s sequel, but it’s definitely going to be a memorable part of our fandom history.

DARLING OF THE MONTH

It’s that time again! It’s time to crown another Darling of the Month! Now, I was originally going to wait to showcase this dude and have him be our December Darling, but it’s 4am and I’m feeling self-indulgent so this month’s darling is Sigurd! Anyone who comments about pasta will be BLOCKED and REPORTED! Sigurd is a sweetheart and a flirt and and all-around great guy. He’s also a good tutor and very nice to look at. Not to mention he’s so encouraging. Sigurd’s honest-to-God boyfriend material. Congrats Sigurd on being bumped up like a whole bunch of months! Next episode will have a route review.

BYE BYE!

That’ll do it for us this week! Next time we’re doing the call and response I PROMISE, I won’t forget to put the prompt on Tumblr this time. And with that, it’s time for me to return to Fodlan and my new video game husbands Dimitri and Felix. This is Mari, signing off.